theirs a fly buzzing against my window

[Jamos]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

I hate bugs. They are icky!

Fortunately, I noticed it right away and flicked it off me before it could deliver its death bite. If I were a minute late, I probably wouldn't be here!

Well, I sure hope you wouldn't wait a whole minute.

[golly_jollydude]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

My sister had a roach o her head the other day.

[Misty]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

Well, I sure hope you wouldn't wait a whole minute.

You know, those Black Widows are so deceptive in appearance--I would have mistaken it for a piece of plastic that broke off my garbage container. Soon as I saw that red mark, I gave it the heave-ho.

[Riotsword]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

Some of those spiders aren't exactly Black Widows, but the difference is so minute that you probably won't even tell the difference anyway. Better just kill all of them to be safe.

We have weird black roaches(or are they beetles? They look just like roaches) in our bathroom here at my girlfriend's house. I stepped on one in my barefeet and killed it when I took a whizz one night, and I wasn't even aware of it. I must have been really sleepy.

[Ms. Porkchop]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

Riot.. that is gross.
I went camping last year and there was these giant luna moths... so gross.

[Misty]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

Some of those spiders aren't exactly Black Widows, but the difference is so minute that you probably won't even tell the difference anyway. Better just kill all of them to be safe .p

Because of that black widow incident, I have this paranoia about dark-colored spiders having the most lethal poison.

[Karr Lord of Chaos]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

spiders have one destination for me, the bottom end of a shoe. not a fan of anything that has more legs then a dog. i have a nice bathroom light so i can see whats underfood when i got for a midnight wizz, so no flat roach for me - not like ive ever seen one in the place i live.

[Dusk Raven]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

Once when I was around 5; I was sitting outside, I felt a slight tickling feeling on my chin, and I brushed it with my finger. The next thing I remember is looking at my finger, seeing a wasp on it, and then freaking out and instantaniously dashing backwards 7 feet.

[Jamos]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

Once when I had to use the bathroom, I lifted up the toilet seat to find a big spider. I gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "****ed off" that day.

[Omnislash024]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

There was this time when a co-worker of mine who worked in the produce department opened up a crate of fruit and this Black Widow Spider was inside. Fortunatly it was already dead.

[Armored]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

When I was very young I was with my mom and we seen this spidercrawling on the floor. So she hands me me a shoe and I go over to kill it. I dont think i've killed anything prior to that so it was testing ground here. Instead of balls out flattening the thing I tap it with the shoe.

Well holy ****, all of a sudden all of these baby spiders start scattering off of the big spider I tapped, and now there are 10 spiders running around my floor. Pretty sure I ran off ascared after that. That might explain my phobia of them today.

That was the only time i've ever experienced that in my life. Who knew baby spiders rode the backs of their mothers?

[Misty]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

Once when I had to use the bathroom, I lifted up the toilet seat to find a big spider. I gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "****ed off" that day.

Oh man, that was funny Good one!

Reminds me of when I found a housefly swimming in my toilet....

[Karr Lord of Chaos]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

some special spider stories. enjoy them, they are true and over dramatized for your viewing plesure!


a 6 legged army

when i was way little, i found a huge spider in a secondary bathroom tub that no one realy used. i called over my uncle, and he handed me a fly swater. i hit the beast with the thing with all my power but the multi legged thing must of evolved into a spring and shot back to life and b lined it to the drain.

i complained again as i didnt want the spider to sneek up on me when i was taking a ****. so my uncle goes and concocks this outragously powerful potion and puts in in a spray bottle with warning not to get myself with it.

so i return to the tub armed with my spray of d00m and mr not so bright spider had returned in my absance to bask on the nice smooth enamal tub floor surface. i took aim and fired a blast of completly illegal chemicals at the evil doer and the harry monstrosity of course being unable to counter such a powerful offensive, dove for the drain. i kept firing the toxic spray and noticed the spider shaking in pain, its limbs being eaten by whatever acidic bath was in the spray. the spider crumpled in a heap just short of the drain and the war was won. its was a beautiful victory against evil spiders everywhere. <whips tear away at the fond memory>


crouching human, hidden spider

i was at my house some years ago and my mother screamed that a spider had infiltaited her nice clean washroom. i was immidatly drafted to shoe patrol and choose a powerful loafer to be my weapon of exicution. so i confronted the 6 legged menace and brought the full force of the front soul of the shoe strait down on where its likely tomb would be. i expected the spider to turn from hidden spider into a ghastly mess on the bottom of the shoe and floor. when the powerful ram lifted the spider was whole and very mad.

this thing turned into a bezerker and put all 6 legs into 5th gear and started baraling towards me. this thing had a motor; unbelivably fast it dodged two more shoe strokes. my life was in dire paril at that point. i had a blood thursty angery spider speeding towards me like death itself. i shriked, stood up and took a step back and slamed the shoe down with all my force, halting the 6 legged roadster dead in its tracks. it was a hell of a last stand but it was not enough to defeat the mighty shoe patrol. i returned the shoe (which of course wasnt my own shoe) inconspicuously in the shoe rack and returned to civilian duty. i of course was given a banquet of honor befiting of a hero, and granded the offical title of spider slayer.


that aint a dandrif, son

some years back i was farting about in the yard of the appartment i use to live in. it was late and probaly past whatever curfew i choose to ignore. i loved the outdoors and spent most of my time trying to dirty every patch of clean fabric on my cloathes.

night time eliminates your vision and some already hard to see things become even more invisable. so it was that my hulky body colided with a wall of crystaline threads, sparking immidate fear that i would turn into spider food. i did the wild brush off but found nothing but sticky threads.

i had dodged a bullet. i got out of the bushes and went to my friends who where still waiting for the hocky ball i never did find. they had a look of horror in their eyes and pointed to my soldier.

i look down and left and grining at me is this big fat black spider nearing my neck. well the world immidatly colapsed on itself as i let out a death scream which probaly caused a few old laidies to call the police. my arms windmilled in panic and i tore my closes off to evade the black demon. after suficent time had passed for my heart to restart, i poked through my closes with a stick and found no spider. im quite cirtin the thing was flung into space with the amount of speed and action i undertook to remove it in my panic.

needless to say alot of people had heard me and my story spread lol.


finger food

a while past at the same appartment, but i was a little bit older, i was going into the playground area to fart around. i reached my hand through the black gate to unlock the stupid child safety gate lock and was immidatly greated by pain. i retracted my hand immidately and investigated the wound. two tiny poke holes where in the tip of my finger.

i had been attacked by a spider, who not only broke through my defences but managed to inflict a mortal wound. the gate flung open in a wild furry and i scowered the surface for the rebel army, finding the tiny spider cowering in fear against the metal surface. i then proceeded to stamp the hell out of it on the post. it errased from all memory by the time i finished. i felt very satisfied but i was frightened for a while that id contract some crazy desise like the anracnid flue.

[Red Dragon]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

I always thought spiders had 8 legs?

[Karr Lord of Chaos]

Re: theirs a fly buzzing against my window

do they? i always thought 2 of them where icky feelers.