Jokes with realistic endings. Classic.

[Alzar]

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2792

(content warning - rated PG-13 for some profanity)

[Ryner]

Re: Jokes with realistic endings. Classic.

HI-larious!

[Riotsword]

Re: Jokes with realistic endings. Classic.

So this guy dies right and he goes up to Heaven and when he's at the pearly gates he- oh wait, nevermind, he just rots in the ground.

Awesome.

[altoecko]

Re: Jokes with realistic endings. Classic.

Jesus is hanging on the cross and John approaches.

John says: "Jesus, its John. How may I serve thee ain thy time of need?"

Jesus replies: "YEEEAAAAAAAARGGHGGGHGGHGGGHGGHGGH!!!!!"

[Magus]

Re: Jokes with realistic endings. Classic.

"Why aren't there any Mexicans on Star Trek?"

"Well, that's a highly debatable assumption. First, one only sees a small fraction of the Terran population on the show, so there is no reason to assume that any ethnic group is unrepresented in that vision of the future. Secondly, there have been several notable characters played by actors of Hispanic descent. Recently, these include Robert Beltran (Chakotay) and Roxann Dawson (B'Elanna Torres). Interestingly enough, Dawson seems to have changed her last name from Caballero, perhaps in order to reduce the risk of being typecast because of her ethnicity. Star Trek in general seems to be very progressive with respect to using diverse casts, as evidenced by the first interracial kiss on The Original Series, and the introduction of Chekov during the height of the Cold War."

[Redneck 2000]

Re: Jokes with realistic endings. Classic.

Yeah, I was gonna post that, but some of it is questionable. Really awesome, though.

[Kefka Jr.]

Re: Jokes with realistic endings. Classic.

First one's still my favorite.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. THe employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

I used to screw up knock-knock jokes all the time by just saying, "Oh, come on in."

[Magik]

Re: Jokes with realistic endings. Classic.

I like this one:

A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damm!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damm' say 'God help us'".

The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".