Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

[Deeth Irteen]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

For the sake of everyone's sanity, I shall take up the pitiable task of seeing the Micheal Bay Ninja Turtles movie. I will then return to the internet, and tell all of the horrors that await.

[John Mora]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

None of us are asking you to, though

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

At this point I just believe Deeth is excited for it but doesn't want to admit it to the Pavilion.

[TheHonorableRyu]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

Just like how some hipsters sincerely like the things they pretend to enjoy ironically!

21% right now on RT, looking to be just plain bland. Critical consensus: "Neither entertaining enough to recommend nor remarkably awful, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles may bear the distinction of being the dullest movie ever made about talking bipedal reptiles."

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

Even more than Theodore Rex!?

[TheHonorableRyu]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

Did that have only one talking bipedal reptile?

[John Mora]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

And... both starred Whoopi Goldberg!!!

:0

[Deeth Irteen]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

Okay, I saw it.

Meh.

[Loki]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

Nice build up to that effort post there.

How about you tell everyone about the horrors like you promised.

[Deeth Irteen]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

They didn't **** up the turtles' personalities. The action was your standard Michael Bay Crash-BANG-BOOM affair, but they didn't put explosions in every scene.

Despite Megan Fox's bad acting, I was surprised to find that she actually saved the turtles' asses more than they saved hers.

Apparently, Splinter became a ninja master by reading a book on jujitsu/ninjitsu/whatever that he found in the severs.

Shredder is basically a transformer.

Karai is in the movie. She doesn't do much, but she's there.

They had a few in-jokes to previous incarnations, like the god-awful "Turtles Christmas" disaster.

There was an elevator scene, that a lot of people like apparently. Also, SOMEWHERE in the movie, there are cameos by both Baxter Stockman AND Usagi Yojimbo.

All in all, it was an okay film.

[TheHonorableRyu]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

None of those are horrors!

[John Mora]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

I second the notion that Deeth was secretly excited to watch this movie.

[Funk]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

It's almost worse that this movie is a snore-fest instead of a stink-fest. A stink-fest is easier to make fun of MST3K-fashion and therefore can at least be salvaged for some entertainment value.

[Deeth Irteen]

Re: Michael Bay + Ninja Turtles = ...?

I second the notion that Deeth was secretly excited to watch this movie.

No, seriously, I wasn't "excited" for this movie. I spent nearly two years thinking it was ****ed, thanks to Mr. Bay.