Final arrangements

[DarkwingChuck]

I was just watching a Nova episode about the discovery of Ramses I mummy and it got me thinking about how we lay ourselves to rest. Have you thought about where and how you want to be buried? What about the funeral? Organ donor?

Myself? I'm a registered organ donor. I hope someone's life can be saved with my organs after I can't use them anymore. As for the funeral, I don't really care. The funeral's are for the mourning not the dead. My family (whoever that consists of at the time of my passing) can decide how they want to do it. I just hope they don't waste a lot of money on something largely unnecessary. My burial. Well, I might donate my body to one of those research teams that mummifies bodies. It'd be cool to be a mummy and know that my body will exist long after everyone I know is dust. Either that or I'll be cremated and scattered somewhere significant. Don't really know where yet but I never really liked the idea of getting stuck in some hole in the ground at a random churchyard. Maybe I could be dumped onto a flock of migrating birds. And if possible I'd want to die on the other side of the International Date Line and be immediately brought to America for the cremation so I could be cremated the day before I died.

[Magik]

Re: Final arrangements

I'm an organ donor as well. If any of my organs are still usable when I die, I hope they're utilized for people who need them. Then I guess I want to be cremated, but only if my ashes are spread somewhere. I don't want to sit on someone's mantle.

With burial.. I'd just want to be wrapped in my favorite blanket and thrown in a hole in the ground. No point in slowing down the decomposition process with preservatives or an overpriced wooden box.

[Valkysas]

Re: Final arrangements

I'm not an organ donor. if I can't use them, no one else can either.

[DarkwingChuck]

Re: Final arrangements

Your organs would probably make the receiver go crazy like all those horror movies. But funny crazy not scary crazy.

[Chrono]

Re: Final arrangements

I think it should be mandatory for people to be donors. Hundreds die everyday from not receiving transplants. The rest of my body will probably be donated to science or be turned into Soylent Green or something. There’s no reason for people to be selfish of something they no longer own.

[Smurf Taco]

Re: Final arrangements

In complete and utter honesty, I would love for my body to be shot into space. Not preserved or anything, literally just flung into space.

I think I'm an organ donor, but I'm not sure. I'm not against it though.

[DarkwingChuck]

Re: Final arrangements

In complete and utter honesty, I would love for my body to be shot into space. Not preserved or anything, literally just flung into space.

Aside from the implosion you would be almost perfectly preserved since as long as you're in outer space you'd be away from all the decaying factors.

[Owl of Parliament]

Re: Final arrangements

RamsesI that was in Niagara Falls for 120 years? I saw him a couple times back when nobody knew who the mummy was. I remember the main mummy there was a roman solider, and they would tell tourists it was an Eygptian general. Not many people in town knew the truth. I remember my dad also telling me about how this one mummy was RamsesI and to this day he would never tell me how he knew when nobody else did.

[Kire]

Re: Final arrangements

I'm an organ donor. Cremate my ass.

[DarkwingChuck]

Re: Final arrangements

Just your ass? How odd.

[Kefka Jr.]

Re: Final arrangements

Here are things that everyone I care about needs to know.

In the event that I am used as a human shield by an escaping criminal and one of you, my dear friends, has to choose between a criminal's continued freedom and my safety (which is not guaranteed)

You have permission to shoot me in the leg. The shot would startle the suspect, and with my wound I would become a burden to the escapee, and I would have to be discarded as he tries to make a run for it, giving you precious time to take him down.

If you can, aim for the flesh of my thigh. I would not like to be shot in the shin or in the kneecap, but I won't hold it against you if you do.

In the event that one of you, my dear friends, becomes an assassin and is assigned to kill me

Go through with it. If you don't, the assassin's guild will either kill you or send someone else to do it, and I would much rather that someone I care about sees my last living moments.

As for how to kill me, that's up to you. Just be sure to make it sudden and extravagant (laser-guided sharks, Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique, thwomp, etc.)

Although if you want to duel to the death, I would prefer that it occurs at sunset (though sunrise is fine, too).

Funeral service plans

1. Masquerade ball
Masks are mandatory, and will be handed out at the door. Other costumed apparel is optional. My body must be dressed as Superman. Anyone else who comes to the service dressed as Superman is Bizarro, and will be asked to leave.

2. Christmas party
A nighttime service. My casket will be in front of a big Christmas tree. Wreathes and mistletoe will be used liberally in decoration. Stockings will be hung on the side of the casket, and a glass of milk and a plate of cookies will be set on top. At midnight, my dead body, dressed as Santa Claus, will fall out of the fireplace. Christmas-themed Irish drinking songs will follow.

3. In the event that immediate company is stranded in woods/mountains/an island
Lay my body to the earth, and don't you take my shoes. Mark my grave with a cross, or at least a very nice rock, then pour out a bottle of sake on my grave. In the absence of sake, whisky will do. In the absence of any sort of alcohol, all present will spit into a cup (or somebody's hands) and pour the resulting mixture. (Please note: pouring Toma's Pop on my grave will reveal the location of the Rainbow Shell)

4. Economy package
Discreetly work my remains into the ashtrays at the bowling alley, and then pour an eight ounce mugette of Coors out onto an unclaimed pair of Stride Rites. I would like a huge sassy black lady to point at a portrait of me and exclaim, "**** THIS guy!" Right on cue, thirteen ugly children roll gutterballs.

[Drazus]

Re: Final arrangements

I heard a story of this one teenaged boy who died. His mom had his heart donated, and this old man ended up recieving it, which saved his life. Then, a man in his town went ballistic at a town meeting, shot four people (all who died) and injured a few more. The old dude tackled the man when he took out an SMG, and managed to pin him down.

So in a sense that heart saved more than one life.

Yep.

Mmhmm.

Yeah.

[John Mora]

Re: Final arrangements

I'm not an organ donor. if I can't use them, no one else can either.

PAUL HUTCHISON

[Ωbright]

Re: Final arrangements

Just throw me in a ditch somewhere. I'm an organ donor, but I pity the poor gimp that gets them.

[altoecko]

Re: Final arrangements

I'm an organ donor, they can take what they want, whatever's left I want to be burned. I then want my ashes to be put in baggies and sold at a large convention for self-help gurues. I want to be advertised "The Ashes of a Hero, so full of valor, they're bound to give you some." All proceeds will go to starving kids in Africa. One baggie shall be poured out on Mt. Hakone in Japan. I do love that place.

Edit - Oh, and I suppose if a close friend or family member wants to keep some of my ashes, that's fine.