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View Full Version : Woman runs down Lord Jesus Christ

Valkysas
05-09-2010, 10:00 PM
http://www.wwlp.com/dpp/news/local/lord-jesus-christ-hit-by-car?hpt=Sbin

NORTHAMPTON, Mass. (WWLP) - Police say they checked the victim's ID. Northampton police issued a traffic citation this week to a driver whose car hit Lord Jesus Christ.

It happened Tuesday on Main Street in front of Fitzwilly's restaurant.

Northampton Police Lt. Michael Patenaude told 22News 50-year old Lord Jesus Christ of Belchertown was struck as he crossed Main Street around 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday.

Twenty-year old Brittany Cantarella of Pittsfield was cited for failure to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk.

Lord Jesus Christ was treated for facial injuries at Cooley Dickinson Hospital.

Lt. Patenaude said Lord Jesus Christ had a Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles identification card.
Riotsword
05-09-2010, 10:16 PM
Well if it isn't the nails or the crown of thorns it's cars in the street.

Bad luck there, Lord.
josh
05-09-2010, 10:21 PM
je18yGc6jXk
IamPinhead
05-09-2010, 10:58 PM
Well, somebody didn't have their Jesus flakes this morning.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/34/122320812_1cf73105d8.jpg
Zeroth
05-10-2010, 03:02 AM
The driver was pretty accurate when she screemed, "Jesus Christ!!!" as she hit the man.
Leish
05-10-2010, 03:42 AM
Lord Jesus Christ was in my city and didn't bother to visit? :( I see how it is.


Bet he was too busy loving all the little children.
The_Real_Crunk
05-10-2010, 04:16 AM
:minotaur
Cutter De Blanc
05-10-2010, 04:28 AM
I should change my name to Satan T. Devil.

That would be sweet
Chuck
05-10-2010, 04:32 AM
I know he was supposed to come back in secet but he's been hanging around for 50 years and still hasn't told everybody?
orius
05-10-2010, 01:43 PM
I know he was supposed to come back in secet but he's been hanging around for 50 years and still hasn't told everybody?

And he had an ID card too. Everyone know the DMV is the most inefficient bureaucratic hellhole known to man, but DAMN. They haven't gotten around to telling anyone about this?
Wavelength
05-10-2010, 11:42 PM
In an unrelated story:

NORTHAMPTON, Mass. (WWLP) - Local 20-year old student Brittany Cantarella of Pittsfield was killed yesterday when her car was hit by a freak bolt of lightning.

"I didn't even see a storm" said Gino Sinonella, a local 39-year old landscaper. "But then all of a sudden there was a flash from the sky, and then a bunch of smoke and a distant sound of maniacal laughter."

Ms. Cantarella will be laid to rest at the Harbors Funeral Home this Friday.
Perversion
05-10-2010, 11:47 PM
In yet another unrelated story, Fidel Castro returned a plasma TV at my work today, and Erik Estrada bought a black Wii and a ton of Wii accessories from me today as well.


No joke on either of these.