The toilet thread

[Zeroth]

Yep, a thread for complaining about nasty bathrooms, funny bathroom wall writtings, or some really weird stuff that might have happend while "dropping the juice".

Below will be presented the most beautiful poem you have ever read. I have encounted this during my many travels to foreign lands, and here I present a piece of literature so stunning that it may just touch your soul (or make you barf, I always get the two confused).

Here I sit broken hearted
Tried to **** but only farted

[Cutter De Blanc]

Re: The toilet thread

There's a topic called "Bad Thread Ideas" for a reason.

That being said, the roof over my toilet leaks, and I get water all over my ass when I try and use the bathroom.

[Magus]

Re: The toilet thread

[Toaster]

Re: The toilet thread

When did you turn into the ****tiest poster at The Pavilion? You were always kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel, but it's like you're intentionally flaunting it these days. Did Muse hijack your account or something?

[Leish]

Re: The toilet thread

**** Z-man, clothes are made out of cotton for a reason. Cotton is extremely absorbent, which will allow your clothes to absorb anything your body can throw at it. This is what Eli Whitney was trying to show us by inventing the cotton gin; he was trying to create an alternate source for toilets so we wouldn't waste all that water that is so scarce in this world. However, as long as people think it's 'uncool' to pee your pants, we will all face a long term problem of droughts in the world, causing us to have less food, showers, and water, meaning we will die of starvation, smelliness, and dehydration at the same time. In this one's opinion, that is a terrible way to die.

So I'm with everyone else about this thread. We shouldn't be encouraging people to use toilets! **** man, this thread is outrageous bull**** ****ing ***** ludicrous. You might as well poop in my mouth and get it over with since that's the future. That's the future this thread is promoting. God dammit piece of ****.

[stick]

Re: The toilet thread

The poem brought a tear to my eye, not a tear of joy, but sadness.
Leish is right.

This thread is very offensive.
Not only are you encouraging us to waiste water and in time kill us all, but you are also making a lighthearted poem joke about it!?

"Here I sit broken hearted
Tried to **** but only farted"

As if thinking you have to poo, just to find you don't is funny. I bet you flushed anyways. Yes. I BET YOU FLUSHED TWICE FOR YOUR OWN AMUSEMENT. YOU THINK ITS FUNNY? YOU THINK ITS FUNNY TO KILL US ALL?

On top of this we flush toilets after we wash them, like flushing all those non bodily chemicals is really that important.
We flush if we blow our nose and accidently throw the tissue in the toilet instead of the garbage can.
We flush twice if its a stinky poop or if our anus bleeds and there is some left over and we are embarassed.
We flush twice if a friend is in the shower and we think it will be funny to hear them scream.

Well its NOT funny.
I'm leaving this thread thoroughly unimipressed and offended.
But not before flipping all of everyone's tables. Ever.

Good day sir.
Good day.

[Duel]

Re: The toilet thread

After cheating on a test, I went to use the restroom and wrote the answers on the wall.

[Kire]

Re: The toilet thread

I hate the fact that bathrooms are so silent since guys don't talk, you can hear other guys pooping.

[Cutter De Blanc]

Re: The toilet thread

I can't do my business in a public restroom if there's someone else in it.

[goldgecko4]

Re: The toilet thread

The whole poem, of course...

"Here I sit, broken-hearted,
Tried the ****, but only farted.

Another day, I took a chance,
Tried to fart, but **** my pants"

Thank you, thank you.

[Alex]

Re: The toilet thread

Now that I own an iPhone, I am never bored on the toilet.

[Cutter De Blanc]

Re: The toilet thread

Ah, technology

[BlueSenshi]

Re: The toilet thread

I hate the fact that bathrooms are so silent since guys don't talk, you can hear other guys pooping.

I agree that hearing someone else pooping can be pretty scary. Men's Restrooms should come with white noise machines, or at the very least, loud exhaust fans.

And what is up with urinals that don't have dividers between them? In the restroom near my cube, there are exactly two urinals and zero dividers. Don't people know that only one of those urinals can ever be used at a time now?

No, no they don't. Other guys often come in and use the urinal right next to me, when both stalls are open. What is wrong with people?

[Denmo]

So i was pissin' in the men's restroom of the highschool i'm student teaching at, and it has only 2 urinals. There was a teenager in the stall next to mine.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he glanced over and down in my direction and grinned.

[Riotsword]

Re: The toilet thread

Now that I own an iPhone, I am never bored on the toilet.

And here I am doing ****ing word searches.