Are small people the new black?

[Leish]

Not in terms of fashion, mind you. Being short will never be cool.

It's more like, are they the next group ok to enslave? Culturally, we've been prepped for this idea - the elves under Santa, oompa loompas, the cobbler elves, house-elves from the Harry Potter series. I could go on and on and on, but I can't think of any more. We're being/have been conditioned to think nothing of it when we see fictional enslaved shorties. Perhaps that's why the general population looks with indifference or jokes hearteningly at those squinty-eyed tiny wannabe jaundice victims working hard and long (giggle) for the man (err...never mind) in factories in Chinaman Land, Vietnam, and those other exotic places where exotic midgets do exotic things (consult your secret folder for more information). The actual enslavement of short "people" might just seem natural to the conditioned real people.

I guess what I'm really asking is is it ok for me to have one?

[Alex]

Re: Are small people the new black?

I don't think any group of people are okay to enslave. That is to own as property. We already have people doing our slave labor today, but we pay them slave wages and call them illegal immigrants.

[Cutter De Blanc]

Re: Are small people the new black?

Midgets don't take our jobs.

[DarkwingChuck]

Re: Are small people the new black?

It's not at all accepted among the politically correct to enslave or in any way mistreat the little people. Many consider just hiring them for mall elves at Christmas to be discriminatory or even cruel. They sometimes even look down on the little person for taking the job. And god forbid you want to toss a midget at a party, no matter how much you pay him. They act like you're clubbing baby seals or something.

[John Mora]

Re: Are small people the new black?

[stick]

Re: Are small people the new black?

Okay Butch, I'd like to start off by letting you know that little people are terrifying.

That aside.
You did forget to mention a few other examples that I can't think of either, so I'll get back to you about that later.

It's not okay to enslave small people, they have to work twice as hard as a tall person just to walk around. And chairs! Don't even get me started on chairs! Have you ever seen a midget ascend a bar stool? Its like mountain climbing to them.

They have to ask you for help with everything!
Help them reach stuff, help them climb stuff, help them get out of holes when they fall in holes.

I mean come on. At some point you have to ask yourself, who's really the slave, you or them?

[Alzar]

Re: Are small people the new black?

They laugh at me, these fellows, just because I am small.
They laugh at me because I'm not a hundred feet tall.
I tell 'em there's a lot to learn down here on the ground.
The world is big but lil' people turn it around.

A worm can roll a stone.
A bee can sting a bear.
A fly can fly around versailles 'cos flies don't care
A sparrow in a hat, can make a happy home.
A flea can bite the bottom of the pope in rome

Goliath was a bruiser who was as tall as the sky.
But David threw a right, and gave him one in the eye.
I never read the Bible but I know that it's true.
It only goes to show what little people can do.

A worm can roll a stone.
A bee can sting a bear.
A fly can fly around versailles 'cos flies don't care
A sparrow in a hat, can make a happy home.
A flea can bite the bottom of the pope in rome

So listen here, professor with your head in the cloud
It's often kinda useful to get lost in a crowd
So keep your universities -- i don't give a damn
For better or for worse it is the way that i am

be careful as you go
cos little people grow
and little people know
when little people fight,
we may look easy pickings
but we got some bite!
so never kick a dog
because it's just a pup
you'd better run for cover when the pup grows up

and we'll fight like twenty armies
and we won't give up

A worm can roll a stone.
A bee can sting a bear.
A fly can fly around versailles 'cos flies don't care
A sparrow in a hat, can make a happy home.
A flea can bite the bottom of the pope in rome
A flea can bite the bottom of the pope in rome

[Wavelength]

Re: Are small people the new black?

It's more like, are [small people] the next group ok to enslave?

Culturally, we've been prepped for this idea - the elves under Santa,

Not people.

oompa loompas,

Probably inspired by an acid trip in the 1970s. (If you are wise, you'll listen to me.)

the cobbler elves,

Not people.

house-elves from the Harry Potter series.

Not people, and furthermore, they WERE supposed to represent people who were unfairly enslaved (it was Anvilicious in Book 4). You're supposed to feel for them.

I could go on and on and on, but I can't think of any more. We're being/have been conditioned to think nothing of it when we see fictional enslaved shorties.

Oh?

Perhaps that's why the general population looks with indifference or jokes hearteningly at those squinty-eyed tiny wannabe jaundice victims working hard and long (giggle) for the man (err...never mind) in factories in Chinaman Land, Vietnam, and those other exotic places where exotic midgets do exotic things (consult your secret folder for more information).

Or perhaps it's because funny jokes that use a stereotype as the base of the joke are still funny jokes. We would do the same thing if the people working over in China's factories (six thousand miles away, to ensure our Everyday Low Prices) were the standard-looking white people in the Industrial Revolution who had an average lifespan of 18 years and broke their bodies working in factories.

The actual enslavement of short "people" might just seem natural to the conditioned real people.

As my friend said, "If I had a House Elf, I would make him play Guitar Hero with me every day."

I guess what I'm really asking is is it ok for me to have one?

No. Well... ok, but only for you.

[Duel]

Re: Are small people the new black?

Will Farrel was an Elf once. But there was a twist in that. Huzzah!

[Kire]

Re: Are small people the new black?

a midget slave uprising would be adorable!

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: Are small people the new black?

I once said I'd like to have a midget that follows me around on a modified Segway, which would have a keyboard or laptop embedded into it, and he would play appropriate sound effects and/or music during my everyday life.

He is my sound effects midget, and would make life so entertaining.

[Goufunaki]

Re: Are small people the new black?

[Leish]

Re: Are small people the new black?

I don't think any group of people are okay to enslave. That is to own as property. .

Shorty.

dumpster

I know you like to contribute trash to the pav, but don't have to be that direct. Now that's just lazy.

Okay Butch
I mean come on. At some point you have to ask yourself, who's really the slave, you or them?

Well, I guess you have a point. I mean, what the hell are the point of midgets anyway? They really do more harm than good, especially to the environment with their constant need of ladders and phone books. How many trees have to be murdered for their sake? And yeah, they probably have to work twice as hard, but still do half the work as a decent slave. So what should we do to them besides pull a Hitler (aka try to make health care accessible to all Americans)? Two words: Midget Boat.

In 1750, China built a boat out of marble. If the little people were able to build a boat out of marble that long ago, surely we can make a Midget Boat most easily.

Building Procedures
- Get a whole lot of midgets. First we'd lure them with pixie sticks, because quite frankly, it's midget cocaine. Then bam, we butterfly net their asses.
- Get a whole lot of duct tape.
- Get lots of snorkels.
- Shape midgets in form of a boat and tape them together, snorkeling the midgets on the bottom.

Now, you may be wondering, "Leish, I know you're one of the smartest men alive, and you're so God damn sexy, but why the hell do we need a midget boat in this world?" Well, I respond by saying why the hell don't we need a midget boat?

- Imagine a boat that actually talks to you. The actual midgets are alive, and they can tell you every thing they have seen in the seas, like Rosh Hashanah the Jewish midget who tells the fascinating story about how a seagull nearly pooped on his head but then hit his neighbor's head, Hans the German midget, teaching us all a very valuable lesson about karma. You could also hear about the many different varieties of panties there are: colors, designs, sizes, and shapes. This lecture given by the not too long ago blinded midget named Rat teaches us all about sexual harassment and its consequences.

- It's easy to clean. All one would have to do is throw cooked ramen on the midgets. It's something for the midgets to eat, and for the pieces they can't reach, the birds will get; the birds will then eat everything else on the midget floor, making it all clean. Plus, ramen is cheap, so this is possible.

- As said before, it'll help rid the land of these useless environmental succubi. If you want to see the best example of what midgets do our planet, look up the "Asian brown cloud."

All aboard for the Midget Boat Cruise Line?

Not people.

When you see a midget, do you think, "Hey, that person is short," oh go, "Hey look, a midget!" It's more natural (and naturaller) to do the latter because, quite frankly, we don't view them the same way we view our own species. The creatures I mentioned may not be real, but they are short, conscious, and have human-like qualities, just like midgets. Terms like midgets, dwarves, elves, etc are used to classify other human-like minded creatures as something besides human, which is probably explains why we find it ok to enslave them.

[Garr123]

Re: Are small people the new black?

Hey, remember when millions of Africans died immobile, choking on their own feces, and chained up within the dark underbelly of a slaver? When we, Americans, purposely split up families, then proceeded to rape, beat, starve, and tear blacks limb from limb for the profit of a few wealthy bluebloods? The same few wealthy bluebloods for whom a bunch of poor, retarded whites would eventually murder each other with such misguided zeal as to decimate the male population of an entire American generation? Remember? Do ya?

Yeah, being driven into a capitalist frenzy and practicing the most barbaric fashion of slavery to ever exist sure was great.

Funny post about slavery broseph.

[Garr123]

Re: Are small people the new black?

instead of allow themselves to be enslaved, africans would literally jump off of slave ships and drown themselves as an act of defiance against their captors

hahaha slavery right guys