Rate my Game: Jethromancer Slayer, Part 1
I have worked exhaustively hard to achieve the advent of my new game, Jethromancer Slayer! It is so 
that it will send impulses of pleasure into every neuron, nerve, and myelin sheath in your entire body! 
The game starts off in quite the intriguing fashion. A young lad named Ivan Hoe arrives home after buying three jugs of 2% milk from the local grocer.
"Mom!," he screams enthusiastically. "I'm back from my uncle jerbils's!"
At this instant, Ivan realizes that his entire village has been immolated to ash by a dark cult of uncouth rednecks known as "The Jethros!"
"Aw, hellfire!," screamed the Jethro as he chanted an incantation and razed Ivan Hoe's home. "Hellfire! Hellfire! Come forth, Hellfire! Aw, Hellfire!"
Noticing a sword lying on the bare ground next to him, Ivan grabbed the weapon in question, assumed his battle stance, and sliced through the Jethro's exposed flesh, killing him instantly.
As a trio of Jethros surrounded him, Ivan hastily escaped into a forest, where he collided violently with a tree.
"Ouch!," exclaimed the tree. Noticing the bewildered look on Ivan Hoe's face, the tree elucidated: "I'm a Treant. My name is Splinter."
Ivan knew what he had to do. He took his sword and sliced through Splinter's exposed flesh, killing him instantly. Then he incinerated Splinter's remains and unceremoniously urinated on the ashes.
Now, Ivan Hoe, and his sidekick Misty, must battle against the Jethros in an epic battle of good and evil, where morality becomes blurred, racism is revealed, and reality is only an ephemeral illusion.
Features:
* Real-time Action Battle System... in RPG Maker 3! Please do not inquire as to how I will accomplish this.
* A world-shattering plot that will make you see the world in a different light!
* An item that has 16 uses, costs 242 gold, and does 26 damage to an opponent when used!
So please, good sirs and mademoiselles, please rate my undeniably game.
that it will send impulses of pleasure into every neuron, nerve, and myelin sheath in your entire body! The game starts off in quite the intriguing fashion. A young lad named Ivan Hoe arrives home after buying three jugs of 2% milk from the local grocer.
"Mom!," he screams enthusiastically. "I'm back from my uncle jerbils's!"
At this instant, Ivan realizes that his entire village has been immolated to ash by a dark cult of uncouth rednecks known as "The Jethros!"
"Aw, hellfire!," screamed the Jethro as he chanted an incantation and razed Ivan Hoe's home. "Hellfire! Hellfire! Come forth, Hellfire! Aw, Hellfire!"
Noticing a sword lying on the bare ground next to him, Ivan grabbed the weapon in question, assumed his battle stance, and sliced through the Jethro's exposed flesh, killing him instantly.
As a trio of Jethros surrounded him, Ivan hastily escaped into a forest, where he collided violently with a tree.
"Ouch!," exclaimed the tree. Noticing the bewildered look on Ivan Hoe's face, the tree elucidated: "I'm a Treant. My name is Splinter."
Ivan knew what he had to do. He took his sword and sliced through Splinter's exposed flesh, killing him instantly. Then he incinerated Splinter's remains and unceremoniously urinated on the ashes.
Now, Ivan Hoe, and his sidekick Misty, must battle against the Jethros in an epic battle of good and evil, where morality becomes blurred, racism is revealed, and reality is only an ephemeral illusion.
Features:
* Real-time Action Battle System... in RPG Maker 3! Please do not inquire as to how I will accomplish this.
* A world-shattering plot that will make you see the world in a different light!
* An item that has 16 uses, costs 242 gold, and does 26 damage to an opponent when used!
So please, good sirs and mademoiselles, please rate my undeniably
game.
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