This is the Creative Writing Story 3.1 Discussion Thread. It's where all the current and past writers (if they feel so inclined) come to discuss aspects of the story and the future of the story. Any newcomers to the story and this topic are welcome to add your two cents, and we'll answer any questions as best we can. The names to look out for are myself (Big Rick Cook), John Mora, Magik Paladin, and The Honorable Ryu. We four consist of the active writers, more or less of the story.
And now for your regularly scheduled programming. Mora may remember a little talk we had about one of Ryu's earlier posts, and how it may have a major contradiction with things in the future. Well, I've found another example of the problem.
Here's the excerpt from Ryu's addition stating that Guillermo has these powers to sense people's presences:
Page 63: The walls seemed to buckle and warp before his fist; he could sense, as if the hairs on his arm were little antennas, the notches on the walls, feel the vibrations of the little insect stowaways, and the other beings on board channeling their presence with their varied wave-lengths in space—loud, shining targets just dying to be rubbed out.
Questionability: Ryu insinuates that Guillermo has this untrained ability to sense other beings, like they were loud, shining targets in his mind. The way it reads, it sort of gives the impression that it could be an actual power he has acknowledged, but never used, or it could be just his imagination sitting there in his little cramped broom closet. The story flows on afterwards, for the most part, as though he doesn't have anything like that.
Next time this power is mentioned (and what I believe to be the last) is in one of IRC's additions:
Page 68: Part of him wished he was back on his father’s plantation where he had very few cares, but when his arm told him that Malachai had gone below decks because it could no longer feel his presence, he knew that would never happen. Sighing heavily, he followed the captain’s lead and went below.
If these are the only two instances mentioning this power, it should probably be edited to remove the questionable concept rather than editing to make the entire story reflect that, as it could have profound effects on the flow of the story.
Give me your thoughts now, if you guys have any, and I'll keep you up to date on the appearance of any more of these.
And now for your regularly scheduled programming. Mora may remember a little talk we had about one of Ryu's earlier posts, and how it may have a major contradiction with things in the future. Well, I've found another example of the problem.
Here's the excerpt from Ryu's addition stating that Guillermo has these powers to sense people's presences:
Page 63: The walls seemed to buckle and warp before his fist; he could sense, as if the hairs on his arm were little antennas, the notches on the walls, feel the vibrations of the little insect stowaways, and the other beings on board channeling their presence with their varied wave-lengths in space—loud, shining targets just dying to be rubbed out.
Questionability: Ryu insinuates that Guillermo has this untrained ability to sense other beings, like they were loud, shining targets in his mind. The way it reads, it sort of gives the impression that it could be an actual power he has acknowledged, but never used, or it could be just his imagination sitting there in his little cramped broom closet. The story flows on afterwards, for the most part, as though he doesn't have anything like that.
Next time this power is mentioned (and what I believe to be the last) is in one of IRC's additions:
Page 68: Part of him wished he was back on his father’s plantation where he had very few cares, but when his arm told him that Malachai had gone below decks because it could no longer feel his presence, he knew that would never happen. Sighing heavily, he followed the captain’s lead and went below.
If these are the only two instances mentioning this power, it should probably be edited to remove the questionable concept rather than editing to make the entire story reflect that, as it could have profound effects on the flow of the story.
Give me your thoughts now, if you guys have any, and I'll keep you up to date on the appearance of any more of these.
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