Absolute Garbage - The Second: Contest Reviews

[Valkysas]

Re: Absolute Garbage - The Second: Contest Reviews

Fatal Insanity Episode 1
by Tjoris
RPG Maker 3

Overview:
It's an actual game. not just some mess of events being called a game. wow!

Story:
lots of killing of kings. and er... uh... well, play it. I don't want to spoil it.

Visual Design:
Pretty good. not amazing, not terrible. gets the job done.

Sound Design:
Gets the job done. nothing amazing.

Gameplay:
IT'S AN ACTUAL GAME. you can play it, and it won't make you beg for death! it's got a cool leveling system. it's funny, and a damn good comedy game.

Final Thoughts / Score:
WHY THE HELL DID YOU SUBMIT A DECENT GAME INTO THIS CONTEST.
Well, it's strange enough to warrant entry.

7 sevens out of a possible 10.

[Valkysas]

Re: Absolute Garbage - The Second: Contest Reviews

Doctor Who: Waste of the Daleks
by Rodak
RPG Maker 2

Overview:
I don't know anything about Doctor Who. Luckily, this game doesnt require me to.

Story:
Dear god, I have no idea.

Visual Design:
Few games let you figure out who made it just by playing it. only a cow-obsessed hippie could make this. the VFX are uh... special. and colorful. and abundant. the visual design of the tardis defies explanation. you will say "what". loudly.

Sound Design:
MOOOOOO

Gameplay:
This... is... uh... "what".

Final Thoughts / Score:
wow.

10 "what"s out of a possible 10.

[Valkysas]

Re: Absolute Garbage - The Second: Contest Reviews

Legacy of Jack
by Red Dragon
RPG Maker 3

Overview:
This review is going to be very different from the others.

As most people following this contest know, Red Dragon accidentally submitted the wrong game for the garbage contest. I reviewed the game he sent in anyways, and then asked him to submit the real garbage game for me to play. he sent me two .max files, one of which he said was the right game. unfortunately, this was not the case. both .max files were the wrong game. neither was titled "Legacy of Jack". He failed to send the correct game three times. Luckily, this is the garbage contest. a game that did not work won for RPG Maker 1. So when someone fails three times to send the correct game in, causing headaches for both of us, there's only one way I can possibly score this often-attempted entry.

190 recycled giant enemy crab jokes out of a possible 10.

[Valkysas]

Re: Absolute Garbage - The Second: Contest Reviews

Valvalidus Chronicles
by Tjoris
RPG Maker 3

Overview:
Oh man, what the hell is this mess.

Story:
No goddamn clue. I can't decipher it. I dont see how any human could spell this badly, even intentionally. it's like he got Karr and a clone of Karr to beat each other with typewriters.

Visual Design:
It's okay. not much effort put into the field. everything else is nice.

Sound Design:
normal RPGM3 sound.

Gameplay:
You can hire people to fight with you. that's kinda cool.

Final Thoughts / Score:
I'd elaborate more on above points and the game itself, but my mind just keeps focusing on the text. it's just.... I wanna swear right now.

9 exploding seagulls out of a possible 10.

[Valkysas]

Re: Absolute Garbage - The Second: Contest Reviews

Slop the Hog
by Not Obright
RPG Maker 3

Overview:
You broke the game! you ruined it! it was a perfect game until you broke it! what have you done?!?

Story:
Slap that ass! that's it.

Visual Design:
Outstanding use of dogs. The end is pretty well done too, considering RPGM3's limitations.

Sound Design:
Pretty standard stuff.

Gameplay:
YOU BROKE THE GAME. you walk and trigger events. had you not BROKEN THE GAME, who knows what amazing things you might experience? but we'll never know because YOU BROKE THE GAME.

Final Thoughts / Score:
I really wish there was more to it. that's pretty damn rare with a garbage game. The few scenarios you are presented with are very strange and entertaining, although very short.

9 EVERYONE DIEDs out of a possible 10.