The (Finished) Creative Writing Story 3 - It's all done, folks.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

16th overall post - 4th by Caciss. I added this one early because I won't be anywhere near a computer in the morning. I... can't recall exactly what I changed about this addition, but I do know that Caciss was able to bring to light a severe feeling of helplessness in Guillermo.

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16th Post – Caciss 04

*Caciss4* - *sixteen*

Guillermo sat down upon the edge of the rock that jutted out from the ground near the waterfall. He let his only hand sway in the crystal clear water, and he smiled for the first time since boarding the airship. It was a nice something to get his mind off of Dobbel. Cassidy, having finally finished surveying the area went off to sit by Guillermo.

“Nice for a rest now, isn’t it?” asked Cassidy as he ran a little piece of meat over his tongue, savoring the juices.

Guillermo suppressed a smile at Cassidy, “Yes… it feels… peaceful.”

A big man, with an uneasy face came up to Guillermo. His face expressions kept changing and they could tell he was nervous. “Sir Guillermo…”

“I’m not ranked that high. Just Guillermo is fine,” he said.

“But you can call me 'Sir,'” exclaimed Cassidy. Guillermo gave a quick hard shove to Cassidy, sending him crashing backwards into the water.

“What is it you need?” asked Guillermo.

“Well… since yur not to be usin’ yur flintlock, what with the loss of yur arm,” explained the nervous solider.

Guillermo winced at the mention of his arm, as he was still harboring shock, and grew angry about it. “Hell no!” he yelled back at the huge man. Before he could continue to speak, Cassidy popped up from behind, wailing at the peak of his lungs.

“Somethin’s over there! In the waterfall!” he shouted as he scrambled out of the water and to his bow. Captain Arguile quickly made his way over and looked into the cascading water.

“Prepare all arms,” shouted Arguile, “we got a Canyon Runner on our hands. This ain’t gonna be pretty.”

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[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

I know some of you may have been expecting the battle against this Canyon Runner, but sadly, it was not to be until the addition after Staffmaster's. Couple things of note: Staffmaster originally fuddled the name of the Canyon Runner, calling it a Canyon Crawler and adapting the beast to the name he adopted. Instead of changing the name altogether, I figured on letting this stand as a simple, unobtrusive example of how badly written and planned out Staffmaster's additions truly were. He also alerted the beast to the human presence by a crewman sneezing. Not at all cool. The way I changed it is much more believable, I think.

I also reread each addition right before I post it, and I keep happening upon little errors, so don't feel obligated to run back through any addition that has an 'edited' mark looking for something new, because they're only cosmetical changes.

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17th Post – Staff 04

*Staffmaster4* - *seventeen*

“Everybody who can’t fight, get under cover!” Captain Arguile shouted above the panic. He looked over at Guillermo. “Can you fight?”

“If someone can reload my flintlock for me, I suppose I can.” Guillermo replied earnestly.

“I can’t use suppositions, man! Yes or No!?” Arguile growled.

“I told you, Captain, I would need a person to reload.” Guillermo wanted to fight, but he would have to accept that he was now handicapped.

“I can’t be sparing anyone. Get under cover,” the captain snapped.

“Sir!” Guillermo said and turned, taking up residence behind Cassidy’s boulder.

“Feed me bolts,” Cassidy said, talking earnestly. It occurred to Guillermo that the kid could have done it himself, but he probably just wanted his new partner to feel useful.

All was silent except for the constant low roar of the waterfall. Behind the glassy curtain a strange form took shape. Two tusks pierced the waterfall, then a beak, and finally two large nostrils. They bobbed up and down for a moment, sniffing the air before retreating back into the curtain. Moments later, a beast at least twenty feet long and as tall as a man lunged bodily through the falls, and plunged into the deep pool of the oasis with a loud ’ker-ploosh.’ The Canyon Runner boasted the head and neck of a vulture, though it had tusks growing from the corners of its mouth. Along the back of its head and neck grew backward curving spines. The body resembled that of a large reptile, but lacked scales or a long tail. In the tail’s place were seven large, tan spines arranged horizontally growing from a fleshy nub. The Runner had five pairs of legs that became shorter as they went down the body. The first two pairs of legs grew out from underneath the beast and ended in grips like talons. The last three grew from the sides of the body and pointed backwards, ending in feet that looked much like those of a gecko. The whole monster was mottled red and tan, a deft camouflage inside the canyon walls.

The beast surfaced and looked around. The crew had prepared for battle but chose to be discreet and stay out of view from the beast. Guillermo motioned for Cassidy to be quiet. Perhaps the beast would move off and not notice them. Unfortunately, from behind a boulder not unlike their own, a crewman must have gotten too scared, for Guillermo heard the snap of a bow and watched as a single arrow arced through the air and splashed into the pool near the Runner, who was floating lazily, inspecting some moss at the water’s edge. It had seen the arrow shoot up from the boulder and looked hungrily in that direction. It froze except for its legs treading the water.

The Runner’s eyes narrowed to slits, and its mouth opened slightly, revealing a set of very sharp teeth. The carnal flash swept over the Runner as it anticipated a tasty meal. It reared up and placed its first set of feet out of the water to haul its bulk out onto land.

Captain Arguile leapt from behind his boulder, cutlass drawn. Pointing at the beast he shouted at the top of his lungs, “ATTACK!!!!!!”

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

One of only two additions posted by Aznable. I recall that he and Ryu had initially decided that they were going to try and turn the story into a Lovecraftian homage. That doesn't happen, but I'll explain that in a later addition. Aznable was also fairly gruesome in his descriptions, a point I decided to leave intact. His writing was genuinely decent, and though his ideas for the story were different, it would have been nice if he stuck around.

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18th Post – Aznable 01

*Aznable1* - *eighteen*

The members of the crew that were able to fight had armed themselves with whatever weapons were available to them and valiantly charged the vile abomination.

A hail of bow-and-rifle fire shots erupted from behind the rocks, spearing and puncturing the hide of the Runner. At close range, several sailors fought the beast with sabers, their steel clashing with its claws. In a few swipes, the crawler's claws and tusks had already decapitated or eviscerated several of the fighters. As this wanton vortex of carnage ensued, Arguile joined the close- range fight, hacking away at the creature.

It was at this point that the first turning point in the battle occurred. Aiming precisely, Cassidy shot a bolt into the monstrosity’s eye. A fleeting shot, a piercing strike, a shattering skull - the Runner flailed in pain. It was during this blood-induced frenzy that the abomination reared its tusked avian head and speared Arguile in the chest. With a gasp of pain and unexpected suffering, the captain slid down upon the object of his demise in a spray of thick dark blood. This newly created fountain continued to spurt, painting morbid designs of death on the rocks and canyon walls that surrounded the battle. With a snap of its neck, the beast flung Arguile off of his tusk. His cutlass clanked sharply to the shallow water as he was flung violently backwards into the deep section of the pool.

As Cassidy watched in horror, a thick red mist began to rise in the water, coloring it with a painful reminder of human loss.

"Cap'n!” screamed a distressed Cassidy as he watched the horror. Risking his life, he dropped his weaponry and dove in after the injured captain.

The remaining soldiers continued to fight as, out of nowhere, a flaming arrow came from above, piercing the creature's neck. Upon impact, the arrow exploded into a brilliant shower of fire and sparks, severing the blasphemy's head. The creature recoiled in the throes of death, killing at least 2 more fighters. Finally, it collapsed on the ground, twitching.

The survivors looked up to see a figure cloaked in canyon orange standing atop the cliff face. As the figure climbed down, Cassidy surfaced with a weakened Captain Arguile, who was spitting up a mixture of blood and water. Guillermo rushed over to the wounded captain.

"Is he going to be ok, Cassidy?"

"Looks bad, he's lookin’ real bad."

Guillermo surveyed the wound. A gaping hole, around an inch and a half to 2 inches in diameter, lay just below the sternum. The flesh and organs inside and around the hole were ripped and torn to shreds. Guillermo saw no way for the captain to live.

As Guillermo examined the damage, a hand came to rest on his shoulder. Guillermo turned around and stared into the eyes of a woman, cloaked in furs from head to toe, who looked as if she had not bathed in ages. Strands of grass lay in her mottled black hair, and her worn face was covered in soot and other residue. She looked to be in her late thirties, but looked as if she had experienced more horrors than anyone in their thirties rightfully should have. In her hands was a sturdy bow, glowing with a red aura.

"Let me see him", said the woman, "he may still have a chance of living."

Upon seeing his wound, the scruffy female coldly said, "None. He's done for,” and turned away.

Then Sir Dobbel, once again appearing what seemed to be randomly, approached the victim. Guillermo and Cassidy looked at him in shock, not knowing where he came from.

"And just where the hell have you been?" asked Guillermo.

He received no response as Dobbel’s hands came to rest on Arguile’s chest, and thinking for a moment, Dobbel said, almost as if to himself, "He'll be ok... just rest..."

Within the hour, the captain had quit coughing up blood, and had passed into a deep slumber. Without saying a word about his absence, Dobbel retreated to the rocks and sat down.

At last the woman spoke again. "I suppose I should introduce myself. My birth name is Sanya; I lack a surname. I have been stalking these canyon walls for days now, knowing I would find someone in need of my help. And at last, I sighted you - but I fear I may have been too late."

"Incorrect", mumbled a seated Dobbel from the rock formations, "You are not too late. The man will survive."

"Hush, old man. I am not done speaking."

In a whisper, Cassidy poked Guillermo and said, "Well, Sanya's a she*****, ain't she?"

Guillermo half-nodded, half paid no attention to the barb-throwing huntsman, his attention focused on Sanya.

Sanya continued to speak, almost as if to herself. "The stars have been in line for some time now. The time is right, everything indicates this. The monsters have arisen, I fear the end times approach." She turned to face the party. "Warriors, sailors, survivors! I know the path of exodus from this canyon! Follow me, or die alone without a Captain to lead you! Allow me to set you free!"

The party decided to camp and discuss. Captain Arguile was cared for, as the sailors debated whether or not to follow Sanya.

In the morning, it was decided. Sanya was to lead the party, as the survivors were to carry their captain on a gurney. The eleven slain men from the initial monster attack and subsequent crash, and the six killed by the Canyon Runner, proved a heavy burden. Some of the men wanted to bury them and be done with it, but Avery assured the seventeen men were carried with as much care as the injured. This being agreed, Sanya took the lead.

"The exit from the canyon is in a separate segment of the canyon. The only path between here and there is a cave. The entrance to this cave is in front of you... for it is behind the waterfall. Let us go." And thus they marched into the cave from which the Runner had come.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

Another Starba post, and this one's earlier in the day than usual. First, I'd like to clarify that Ryu was not a partner in crime with Aznable's plans of Lovecraftian storytelling, he was just aware of it, and did not try to hinder its progress. Unless I'm still missing something. Anyway, I changed around a lot of the dialogue for this addition, as most of it bothered me quite a bit. Sanya's a bit player, so if you don't like her (like I don't like her), she'll be gone soon enough. The character development between Cassidy and Guillermo is rather strong here, and it tended to be the best when Starba was writing it.

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19th Post – Starba 04

*Starba4* - *nineteen*

“I’ll be damned. Flame sapphires,” Guillermo remarked, encountering a bright glow in the cave.

“Dandy,” Cassidy replied, disinterested.

Guillermo raised an eyebrow at the retort. “Dirt poor kid like you, I’m surprised you’re not trying to pick them off the walls with your teeth,” he said. “Do you have any idea how valuable they are?”

Cassidy rolled his eyes.

“What’s up with you now?” Guillermo said. “I figured this was exactly the kind of thing you were aching for…Or is it our new guide?” he hypothesized.

The boy snorted. “YOU feel comfortable about trusting a woman who knows where a wyrm-hole goes?”

“Can’t do a whole hell of a lot about it now.”

“I don’t trust her.”

“I see that.”

“Nah, it’s not just all that about what she looks like, or even how we met her and all. She gives me a bad feeling, Guillermo. This isn’t an adventure or even a rescue. This is bull****, is what it is, and we’ll be dead or worse if we just follow her blindly.”

“You think it all was just going to be airship rides and scenic tours of a canyon not even out of the country?” Guillermo said sharply. “You’re not ready for this kind of life. I knew it on the deck of that airship and I was insane to allow a kid like you to come with me any farther than we have to.”

“Hell, Guillermo, it’s not like all that. I’d come with you to the ends of the earth, ‘long as we had free reign over where we went and when, and I’d enjoy it to pieces, too. It’s all this ‘treat-you-like-a-stupid-dog magic cult I’ll-only-help-you-out-‘cuz-you’re-weak-puny-mortals better-than-thou’ she-devil business that’s got me all in a knot. Monsters I can deal with. Traveling to the four corners of creation, I can deal. Being treated like a stupid hick kid, deal. But if we get lead around on some stupid magical wild goose chase for too long…” He shook his head.

“Magical wild goose … what on EARTH are you talking about?”

“Look, I meant it when I said I’d follow you to the ends of the earth, and when I promised to be useful to you if you let me come with you. But I’ve got a bad feeling about EXACTLY how things are going right now is all. Just thought you’d like to know.”

Guillermo sighed. “I said before, there’s nothing we can do about it right now. Although, I may even…possibly…know what you’re getting at. Maybe.”

“How so?”

“Dobbel.”

“The creepy old man?”

“He’s not just an old man… I don’t think,” Guillermo said thoughtfully. “I don’t think he just discerned the Captain’s condition. I think he might have healed him.”

“Really?” Cassidy said in a low voice. “How do you figure? I know it was a bad wound, but…”

“He does things…bizarre things. Things humans shouldn’t do…” Guillermo muttered. “But that wouldn’t bother me so much, if…” He shuddered.

“If what?”

“No more speaking!” Sanya hissed, suddenly near the two. Cassidy stuck out his tongue.

“Obstinate fool,” she said. “If a Runner attacks us for your prattling, you’ll die first, by MY hand.”

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

Aznable's second and final addition. This was his attempt at turning the story into 'monsters take over the world,' but he was the only one who really wanted that to happen, so the story doesn't pan out that way, as you'll see in tomorrow's addition. I don't think I changed much of anything story-wise for this addition, another cosmetical edit, and only a little bit at that.

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20th Post – Aznable 02

*Aznable2* - *twenty*

The pair shut their mouths in compliance to the vicious threat from their none-too-kind leader. Splitting up to opposite sides of the tunnel, they continued to follow along as the ever-lit cavern network continued on an upward incline. Cassidy was sure that up ahead, he could see Dobbel and Sanya discussing some dark plan or black majick.

Or perhaps, Cassidy thought to himself, maybe Guillermo’s right. Maybe Dobbel’s benevolent and I’m just worrying too much about Sanya. But still…

The party continued to make their way through the network of caves, trying not to pay too much attention to the foreboding skeletons of animals and other creatures they periodically found along the way. They came across at least ten intersections or forks in the road, but each time, Sanya appeared to know the correct path. Cassidy was scared just thinking about how many times she had traversed these caves.

It was at a wide-open room in the caves that the party decided to rest for the night. The room had three other tunnels leading out of it, some sloping uphill, some sloping downhill. The presence of flame sapphires was extraordinarily high here, so high that the party had to blanket their faces with clothes just to get to sleep. Cassidy alternated standing watch with two other sailors, Seek and Arc. Seek was a gangly thin man in his mid-twenties, that had shoulder long free flowing black hair and bugged out eyes, and who altogether just looked malnourished. Arc was a young boy, maybe seventeen or eighteen, with short blond hair and blue eyes – the prettyboy of the crew. Both were trained sharpshooters.

It was in the middle of the night that Cassidy began to have an idea. He thought back to the prior day, and remembered a comment of Guillermo’s. “Dirt poor kid like you, I’m surprised you’re not trying to pick them off the walls with your teeth,” Guillermo had said, “Do you have any idea how valuable they are?”

“Yes,” Cassidy thought, “Yes, I do. I just didn’t want to look meager in front of you…”

On this note, Cassidy told Seek and Arc that he would return shortly, and ventured a downhill tunnel towards an area that was obviously full of flame sapphires. However, upon arriving at the end of the twisting tunnel, Cassidy was surprised at what he saw. An entire expansive room lay before him, with walls lined with the beautiful gleaming gems. Though he had come to pick them off, something else distracted his attention. He looked around at the room, and noticed that there was an almost temple-like structure built out of stone in the center of it. Upon exploring this construction, Cassidy noted that it hadn’t been used in thousands of years. He stared at the pictographs on the wall, noticing they all depicted something eerily similar: they all looked to be drawn of gargantuan tentacled beasts… they were all depictions of the same monsters they had been fighting. Worse than that, some of them depicted humans doing work for the monsters, under the control of a slave master. Thoroughly frightened by this discovery, Cassidy gave a fleeting glance to the room before leaving. What he found was a tome lying on a table. Upon opening this grimoire, he found it to be full of characters in a language he did not understand. Aching to get out of this cavern, he stuffed the book in a pocket, and took off at full speed, mentioning none of this to Seek or Arc when he returned.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

Here's a portion of the story by IRC that quickly deteriorates Aznable's addition. By and large, Cassidy's dream is nothing but a way to move the story in a different direction other than Lovecraft. Not much else to mention but that this is the end of Chapter 2.

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21st Post – IRC 03

*IRC3* - *twenty-one*

Cassidy had only been back a few minutes when he heard the rumbling. After awhile it grew to a roar and the entire camp was in a panic. Sanya and Guillermo were trying to keep everyone calm, but were met with little success. Suddenly the walls burst open and dozens of Canyon Runners started pouring out. The makeshift camp was in chaos and there was no way to get some measure of a counter-attack organized. A few people realized this and took off into the tunnels but most were slaughtered. Cassidy knew that this was because he had found that temple and could only stand in one spot clutching the book he had found. Just then a huge Canyon Runner appeared in front of him and reared back its head, preparing to impale Cassidy. He began to scream.

"Cassidy! Cassidy wake up." Cassidy bolted upright off the ground, drenched in his own sweat. He tried to catch his breath before he could say anything.

"Are you okay?" asked Seek. "You were just laying there screaming your head off. We came running thinking you were being attacked or something."

Embarrassed, Cassidy began to blush, "No, I'm okay. Just had a bad dream, that's all. Y'all can get back to the camp. I'll be there in a minute. I just need to catch my breath first."

As soon as Seek and Arc rounded the corner of the tunnel, Cassidy tore into his pack looking for the tome. He searched all the pockets but came up empty.

"It couldn’t have been a dream, could it?" he asked himself. Cassidy walked back to camp and tried to think it over. He decided to go visit Captain Arguile for awhile.

Arguile was still on his makeshift gurney, but he was in much better condition than before. As Cassidy approached, the captain awoke.

"What's the matter, are we moving out?" asked a groggy Arguile.

"No sir, just returning a favor to you."

"Ah, good lad. Always remember who you owe and who owes you. So what has you so spooked? Your face is almost as white as mine," the Captain replied with a chuckle.

"Well I had this dream, but it was too real for it to be a dream. I found this room in the caves that had pictures of monsters enslaving us and I found a big book written in a strange language. And then all these monsters started attacking and killing everyone. It was too real to have just been a dream."

Captain Arguile thought about it, and looked the boy up and down.

"Let me ask you something, Cassidy. Today we fought a battle with one of the toughest monsters in this canyon. You’re what, fifteen? Sixteen? And already today you've seen too many people killed in front of you. Plus, Guillermo has told me how Sanya spooks you so much. I think you're just emotionally exhausted right now and that your brain is reflecting that in your sleep. You're worried about being attacked by monsters so in your dream they did attack. You're worried about not being free and that Sanya's up to something, so the monsters were enslaving us in your dream. Maybe you should see Doc and see if he has anything to help you get a good night’s sleep. I'm sure you'll feel much better in the morning."

Cassidy thought about it and decided that the captain was probably right. He didn’t seek out the doctor but instead just curled up next to Arguile and went to sleep. In the morning he did feel better about the whole thing, and by the time they moved out he was almost bouncing with his steps.

Sanya had said that it would be just a few more passages and they would be out. Sure enough, after a few hours of marching the party saw daylight at the end of the tunnel. A few people ran ahead, yelling as they ran outside. The sun felt so good on Cassidy's skin that he put the memory of his dream out of his mind.

Guillermo stood on a small hill outside of the tunnel with Sanya. "Just over the side of that hill you'll find a way out of the canyon. It’s a small incline along the wall and you'll be able to make it out with your injured. Jaegar is visible once you get up."

"Thank you very much for helping us, Sanya. How far are you going to go with us?"

"Just here and no more. The canyons are my home and they will remain my home. I just help the occasional traveler out and that's all."

"Well, how did you get that strange bow?" asked Guillermo, pointing at the glowing bow across Sanya's back.

"That strange man with the cane gave it to me last night," replied Sanya, shrugging it off like it happened everyday.

"Speaking of Dobbel… have you seen him around?"

"Not since the other night. I think he can take care of himself, though."

After a minute of silence, Guillermo looked around at the crew and passengers resting in the dirt. They needed to get moving and now was as good a time as any. He looked around for Avery.

"Well, Sanya, I thank you for your help. We should get going now. Hopefully we can be in Jaegar by midnight."

"You are very much welcome, Guillermo Avory."

And with that Sanya turned back into the tunnel, and Guillermo wandered off to find Avery and Arguile. He passed Seek and Arc as they were talking about what they wanted to do when they got back in the city.

"I'm gonna spend half my paycheck at Blarg's Water Hole getting wasted and hitting on the bar maids. There's this one named Esmerelda... oh man oh man,” said Arc.

"After all this hiking around my first stop is at that one cobbler downtown. He makes the best shoes in the entire city."

"Oh, oh! You mean Osiris. Yeah, he's the best."

Guillermo couldn't help smiling at their conversation. Yes, hopefully by tonight, they would all be sleeping in beds again.

Chapter 2 End

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Tomorrow, the first city of the story!

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

The start of the third chapter, the first addition of one of the longest-running writers, and the first city of the story. Ryu had a lot to work with in this addition, and as you'll see later on, he does so quite well quite often. I don't believe I changed anything but cosmetics for this addition, a point I take gratitude in, since in the next 20 or so pages, I had to change a LOT of things to make them work. I'll point out major things along the way, but be aware that several of these additions have been altered heavily from their originals.

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Chapter 3

22nd Post – The Honorable Ryu (Ryu) 01

*Ryu1* - *twenty-two* *chapter3*

Like some sort of wondrous oasis stood Jaegar—the shining golden and greenish hues and purplish blue shadows of its numerous towering edifices managed to contrast with the pale yellow sand and the stark vermillion canyons whose blanket pallet stained the backs of Guillermo and Cassidy’s eyes. Guillermo wondered if that was something one could get used to, or if Sanya saw orange even when traveling outside the canyons. After plodding through the last straight pathway of the canyon’s blistering domain—the sand radiated with heat even far after nightfall—the sight of Jaegar and the emergence of grass before it may as well have been a cool bath. At least this last stretch was not as eventful as earlier, thought Guillermo with weariness, as he gaped in still-disbelief at his severed forearm.

To Guillermo, Cassidy’s bristling excitement had been less than clandestine and more than annoying.

“Yeah!” he cried with a gallant, energetic leap as Jaegar seemed to surface from the horizon, interrupting Arc and Seek’s prolonged conversation, “We did it--no problem--heh!” Guillermo shuddered at Cassidy’s failure to verbally acknowledge the immense danger and injury they all had been subjected to, and shivered once again to think where they’d be without Sanya’s assistance—probably in that monster’s gruesome stomach. Arguile tamely smiled while resting on the long stretch of cloth his crew-members had hoisted him on.

The whole troupe entered through a corral of checkpoints at the city gates. The official posted there gaped with amazement and curiosity at the pitiful-looking salmagundi of injured and disheveled travelers and sailors, and rushed them through to get medical attention and probably moreover to transfer the problem out of his hands as quickly as possible.

Once in the pavilion square that welcomed them, and safely inside the city gates, Captain Arguile attempted to rise from his recently applied stretcher while he and the rest of his associates were being carried to the nearest facility for aid—a clear indication that he had something of import to say.

“Listen,” he managed to say weakly, yet with enough clarity to convince Guillermo that these were far from his last words, “I think…it goes without saying that we’ve been through a lot together…recently. And seeing as I still have a crew, but now…no…ship, it would make this old captain happy to meet with you all….here…perhaps at noon….soon as all the commotion rolls on through. I have something to ask of ya, once I regain my strength.” With that he and those wounded were carried away, while Seek and Arc rushed hurriedly to experience the town’s offerings, a handful of sailors with them, and Guillermo fended off the attempts by the medical assistants to convince him that his arm needed to be treated.

“Bah!” roared Cassidy with pride, “My patented expertise should’ve done the trick, ain’t that right, Guillermo?” His eyes flittered back and forth absorbing the features of the city, looking much like a scrappy cat fascinated with a woozy firefly as the city lights illuminated his face. “What do you think of the city—isn’t it great?” Guillermo sensed a hidden meaning in those words, as if the youth seemed to think of the city as some sort of challenge.

“I’ve been here before, you know; I was stationed here,” said Guillermo with a condemning brow; not exactly angry, but preoccupied with contemplating what he would do between now and the time he intended to rendezvous with the seasoned captain.

Cassidy didn’t seem to hear the comment, or at least not to acknowledge it. “Come on—you won’t get anything done standing around like that—let’s check this place out—maybe I’ll get a beer or something,” he said with a mock-innocent grin. “Maybe we’ll run into Arc and Seek.”

Reluctantly, Guillermo lurched forth towards one of the city’s many promising alleyways, and Cassidy trotted alongside with his bag sagging over his shoulder and hands coolly in his pockets. Whether he planned to indeed find treatment for his arm or how long Cassidy would tag along were questions he had no answer to as he reveled in his almost miraculous arrival to Jaegar, the first step in a journey towards unknown ends.

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[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

5th addition for Starba. I don't know what she really had in mind here, but she successfully tied up a loose end about the herbs that honestly never occurred to me. Anyways, onto the addition.

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23rd Post – Starba 05

*Starba5* - *twenty-three*

“How many of those herbs do you have left?” Guillermo asked Cassidy at length as the two continued to wander the streets and alleyways of vast Jaegar the morning after their arrival.

“Oh, those? I had completely forgotten,” the boy said, stopping to rummage in his pack. “Why, you need some? I never did tell you where I got them, did I?”

“No, I don’t need any right now. I was just wondering,” Guillermo said. “Where did you get them, anyway? If you stole them…” he warned with a glare.

“Nah, nah, have a little faith,” Cassidy exclaimed. “I didn’t take them from anyone who needed them anymore…”

“Cassidy!”

“What?! It’s all right, he wasn’t gonna use them, was he? People were leaving the crash site before even thoroughly checking for anything useful.”

“Because that would be looting. Someone will eventually go back for those people’s belongings, you know. No doubt those herbs are rather valuable.”

“Argh, you’re one of them,” Cassidy complained.

“What?”

“You think in terms of money instead of practicality.”

“I said the herbs were no doubt valuable, not no doubt expensive. And valuable they are.”

“I know what you meant. Don’t try to hide it.”

Guillermo rolled his eyes and looked up to the sky. “It’s about noon,” he said. “We should be heading back to the square.”

“We haven’t found Arc and Seek yet.”

“They may already be there,” Guillermo said. “Come on, if we look for them it’ll be afternoon tomorrow before we ever get around to doing what we were supposed to. And after we do talk to the captain,” he said sternly, “I want you to take those herbs to the authorities who will handle the crash.”

“Wha…?! Are you crazy? We’ll need those!”

“There won’t be a we if you don’t give those back. I won’t go anywhere with a thief. It’s more trouble than I’m prepared to deal with.”

“I’m not a thief.”

“You didn’t just loot a dead man, you stole from his family if they ever get his belongings back.”

“Oh, I see how it is. You’re all hoity-toity now that your arm’s not bothering you so much anymore. Make me out to be the bad guy. I wasn’t the one using them.”

Guillermo grabbed Cassidy by the arm. “Watch yourself jumping to conclusions like that all the time. You’re lucky I’m so patient with you and that I won’t hurt you, but making accusations to the wrong sort can and probably will get you killed, especially the farther we get from Jugere.”

“Geez, sorry,” Cassidy said. “What I think comes out. I can’t help it. It’s not my fault if people can’t swallow what obviously appears to be the truth.”

“Your brand of honesty isn’t always appreciated. And what you’re thinking’s not always right. Remember that,” Guillermo said, releasing his arm.

The two continued to the pavilion in silence, and the captain was sitting on a bench by the marble statue in the center. Avery was by his side, and looked pitiful.

“My whole life crashed in that canyon, Captain,” she could be heard saying. “And you’re trying to tell me there may not be a new ship for us? What will we do, Sir?”

“For now,” he said, “we’ll just rest here until the wounded are recovered and everyone’s back in one place. We’ll all need the time off after what just happened. After that, I s’pose, we’ll get back to port somehow and see what the council has in mind for us.” Avery was obviously not comforted.

“Captain,” Guillermo said. “You’re looking well. You requested to meet us?”

“Ah, yes, yes,” he acknowledged. “You two have been absolutely invaluable to us, and ya undoubtedly saved many lives as a result of your bravery. I wanted to thank ya,” he said. “Avery…”

“Aye, Captain,” she said, laying down the sack she had been carrying on the bench.

“I heard rumors that the two of ya were talking of leaving Jugere,” the captain said. “I want ya to be prepared. At my incapacitation, the crew had graciously carried what belongings I had taken the time to carry to the waterfall all the way here to Jaegar. I fear my days of travel may be at an end, so the both of ya will probably need these things more than me.” From the sack, Avery produced a stylized hunting knife, a blue rain cloak, a roll of several maps, and a small satchel that looked to be filled with gold. “I’ve always kept these with me for emergencies, like a crash such as this, but it seems I’ve never had much need for them. The maps I’ve set aside for ya include topographical and political maps of Jugere, Matra and the mountains to the east, my country of Anteron to the west, and the lands southeast of the Redhorn delta. The gold should last ya a good two months if ya budget well.”

“I…I can’t accept this, Sir,” Guillermo said. “I just did what I had to do. You would have done the same in my place.”

“My boy, my time is passed,” he said. “You and Cassidy are young, and ya need to leave these ravaged countries while ya can. You can’t very well do it with nothing, now can ya?”

“Thank you, Sir,” Guillermo replied humbly. “We appreciate it deeply.”

“This stuff’s great!” Cassidy said, throwing the long rain cloak over his shoulders.

“No, thank you,” Arguile said. “And good luck to ya.”

“Oh,” Cassidy said, digging in his bag. “You’ll probably know what to do with these better than anyone,” he said, handing the five remaining fronds of herbs to the captain. “I got them from a sailor on the airship who’d…passed on. They pro’ly saved this soldier’s life. That’s why some are missing. You might want to tell the family that.”

“Ah, haha, I had figured as much when I saw this man back on his feet then,” the captain said. “Irvin bought a pile of them at Antaross months ago and had been using them for his back ever since. I’m surprised any survived. Keep them; he has no family,” he said. “He’d want you to have them.”

_____

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

Another addition by IRC, and several things to point out here. I didn't change a whole lot, just some weird word formations here and there. Sadly, the meticulous description of Jaegar is largely ignored after this addition, and we get only nondescript locations. I thought to change this, but it would require a lot of work for very little benefit. A new location pops up into the story, Kolika Bay, giving us a more detailed description of the continent in which they reside. This addition was all-around solid, and we were certainly in need of it at this point. Note Cassidy and Guillermo sharing a room. That gets confused later, and I had to run interference to fix the point. More on that later.

__________

24th Post – IRC 04

*IRC4* - *twenty-four*

Leaving Arguile in Avery's care, Guillermo and Cassidy walked back to the main residential district. The Jugere capital was one of the largest cities on the continent and was still a technological wonder. Built across the Redhorn River, the city was divided into two older districts on the banks of the river and had a series of large bridges each, at least a mile wide, connecting the two older districts. The West District contained all the old factories from the war and the Jugere air field. Back in the days of the war, the sound of metal clanging and the smell of smoke could be heard all over the West District. Now, thanks to the recession not even half of the factories were still open and a few had even been taken over by squatters and outlaws. The air field had too many empty docks and seemed sad and tired. Quite the contrast from when there were regular dockings and take-offs during the war. Many times up to five airships could be seen circling above the district waiting for a spot to dock. The East district contained all the older homes and shops. Most of the homes were for the middle class and the poor on the very outskirts of the town. Like the West district, the East seemed to be an old relic from a by gone day. It still had the sounds of a bustling city and one could hear the merchants calling out their goods from the South Star Market, but it still seemed to have that same tired feeling like the West had. The bridges were another story. Built less than a century ago, the bridges were the refuge of the city's elite citizens. Each of the twenty bridges was like its own neighborhood. A series of ferries ran all throughout the Redhorn with docks at various locations on each bridge and both districts. The largest bridge spanned three miles wide and stood atop of a waterfall. Named after one of the founders of Jaegar, Cerdic's Bridge housed the Jugere government. The capitol building, the Senate, the mayor's office, all of them were on Cerdic's Bridge. It was the best view in the entire city; from the bridge you could see the entire Vesta valley.

Cassidy wanted to go wandering around by himself, and Guillermo had had enough of him for one day so he didn’t object. After grabbing a bite to eat, Guillermo decided to head towards the docks to see what kind of condition the Jugere fleet was in. The thought of that once marvelous show of military might in as much disarray as the captain had described was unthinkable for him.

Walking through the streets of the grand capital again put Guillermo in a good mood. The sounds of everyday city life were so familiar to his ears, and he enjoyed seeing all the stores and restaurants that he'd visited back in the day. He even had a few people recognize him. When he finally bumped into Seek and Arc in front of Osiris's shop, he was smiling broadly and practically skipping. Seek was looking frail as always while Arc was showing off his new shoes to a fruit cart girl.

"Hey Guillermo," said Seek upon noticing him, "did you meet with Arguile yet? Did he say when we're shipping out?"

"Yeah, apparently he's not getting another ship for awhile, so he's gonna hold up here until he's back on his feet. I'm staying with that Cassidy kid for the time being until I find someplace to go. I've already seen this town enough and I want to keep seeing what this world has to offer me. I’m sure I can find a ride with someone who's willing to lend a helping hand." Realizing his irony, Guillermo began rubbing his stump. It was a habit he was starting to develop when he was feeling uncomfortable.

"Well you could always try and get on with one of the hunter groups that are springing up all over the place. I guess that's what me and Arc are gonna do for some quick cash."

Hearing his name, Arc left the fruit girl (with an apple on the house) and walked up to Seek and Guillermo. "’Sup, Guillermo, see Avery around anywhere?" Seeing the glare Seek was giving him, Arc flashed a quick smile. "What? I can't be concerned with the welfare of our fellow crewmen? Say Guillermo, you wanna head out with me and Seek on The Inspiration? We've signed on for the trip to Kolika Bay past the Redhorn. If nothing's happening out there we're gonna stay with the ship and cruise on to the Langdon Mountains and back here. Hopefully Arguile'll get a ship in order for us by then."

"I've never been to the Redhorn deltas. I hear it’s pretty nice."

"It is an amazing sight. All the sand and clay from the desert gets washed down the Redhorn to the sea and has formed these huge deltas made of red clay," said Seek.

"Plus there are tons of pretty girls in pretty swimsuits all over the place. I'm sure they would love to hear about how I killed that Canyon Runner single-handedly," interjected Arc.

The three spent the rest of the day talking about all the places they'd been, Guillermo having far fewer to brag, until the sun began to set. Seek and Arc had two more days until The Inspiration left dock and they agreed to meet Guillermo and Cassidy at the Leaky Gasket for drinks the next night. After watching the sun set out on Cerdic's Bridge, Guillermo headed back to his hotel. Finding Cassidy already asleep in his bed, Guillermo thanked no one in particular for that bit of luck and plopped onto his bed. The Redhorn did sound nice, and after spending the day with Seek and Ark, Guillermo had begun to form a friendship with the two sailors.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

*sigh* Another Staffmaster addition. His additions were extremely dissatisfying for the first editions. A whole lot of pointless bickering, annoying accents, and useless scenes. One thing of note here was that the waitress had absolutely the worst accent ever, making her nearly imossible to understand through writing. I fixed it up so it's actually understandable, but it still haunts me at night. Another point of annoyance was the complete lack of fact-checking he did when it came to Cassidy and Guillermo's room situation. At least once it's stated that they're rooming together, and in the last addition, right before the end, Guillermo sees Cassidy already asleep on the bed. Well, he ignored these and made Cassidy have a separate room, which becomes a major problem later on, but that's later on. The last thing I did was shorten the breakfast scene, because it was absolutely pointless for such a useless scene to go on uselessly for any longer than it had to. I changed Guillermo's dialogue so that it actually has some merit and almost fits into the story. Almost.

_____

25th Post – Staff 05

*Staffmaster5* - *twenty-five*

A pounding on the floor awakened Guillermo.

“Hey, Guillermo! Get up!! I bet ya can’t wait to give me a tour of the city!” Cassidy beamed, stamping his feet for good measure.

Guillermo wearily looked at the clock on the bed stand. 5:06. "A.M." he assumed.

“C’mon!! You can’t stay in bed all day!” More pounding ensued.

So help me God, I’m going to shoot that kid... Guillermo thought as he rolled over and buried his head under the pillow.

At this point, and much to Cassidy’s chagrin, some of the other hotel patrons started to wake up and yell at him through the door, rather colorfully, to shut up and go back to bed. He ignored them until the innkeeper finally came up and told him if he didn’t pipe down and go back to bed, he would be evicted. This put the necessary damper on Cassidy’s overly enthusiastic demeanor, and he left the room. It was not until 7:30 that Guillermo awoke again. He found that getting undressed and dressed with only one arm was more difficult than he had expected. That mechanical arm was starting to look better and better. Even a simple hook would be better than nothing. There was a percolator in his room with some complementary coffee, so he made himself a cup. After he was finished, he made his bed the best he could, and then popping on his tricorn, went downstairs.

The lobby was already bustling: people checking in and out, others reading the morning paper, and still others munching on breakfast. Seek and Arc were sitting with Cassidy at a booth on the far wall under a painting of the innkeeper with what looked to be one of the old mayors of Jaegar.

“Morning,” Guillermo said with a smile as he sat down next to Seek.

“Morning!” the three of them replied.

“So,” Arc asked Guillermo between bites of his honey bun, “what’s the plan for today?”

“If I was you, I would go have that arm looked at.” Seek suggested. “Since you’re a veteran, you might be eligible for free prosthetics.”

Guillermo took this into consideration. He had other plans for today, though. The first thing he needed was a new wardrobe, so a trip to the tailors was definitely in order. He looked across at Cassidy and at his ratty old tunic, and thought he could probably use the same treatment. After the monsters came, the barber in Wintan had been killed. Since then, locals with no experience had been cutting hair. It would feel good to have a proper haircut again. Just then the waitress came by to check on them, and noticed Guillermo.

“Oh, hello hon! Whatta ya havin’ t’day?” she said.

“I’ll have half a yamma melon, if you have it, please.” Guillermo said.

“Will ya be havin’ sumthin’ ta’ drink, hon?” The waitress didn’t look up from her note pad.

“Just some citra juice.” he said

“Be right back, shoog!” the waitress went off to get Guillermo’s order, and returned shortly thereafter. Placing it in front of him, she said, “That’ll be one sovereign and fifty shekels.”

Guillermo reached into the money pouch and pulled out three sovereigns. He expected that she would want a tip. Cassidy, who had been quietly munching on his sausages up until now, noticed what Guillermo was doing and piped up.

“Ooo! Ooo!” he said to the waitress, but motioning to Guillermo, “He’s payin’ for this, too.” Cassidy pointed at his plate.

“In that case, shoog, it’ll be eight sovereigns and thirty shekels.” The waitress sighed.

Guillermo paid the price, plus the customary tip, and glared at Cassidy.

“What?” Cassidy declared innocently.

“Remember what Arguile said?” Guillermo asked with raised eyebrows.

“About what?”

“About the money!” Guillermo almost shouted.

“Um...” Cassidy sunk in his seat a bit, obviously uncomfortable with the situation.

“He said,” Guillermo said slowly, “that this money would last us two months, but only if we budget it correctly.”

“So?” Cassidy retorted

“’So’ that means no more seven sovereign plates of sausage,” Guillermo explained as he reached over and grabbed Cassidy’s plate. Seek and Arc looked on attentively, but stayed out of Guillermo’s lesson to Cassidy about the value of a sovereign.

“Hey!” Cassidy cried as Guillermo started to fork sausages onto his plate, “Those’re mine!”

“No, they aren’t,” Guillermo said flatly.

“Yeah they are!” Cassidy protested.

“Who paid for them?” Guillermo came back, leaning forward over the table slightly, smiling.

“Oh.” Cassidy said, defeated. But then he got an idea. “Well if you wanna be technical, it’s the captain’s money,” he said, pleased with himself.

“Don’t get wise,” Guillermo said as he ate some sausage.

Cassidy smirked. “Would you rather I be stupid?”

“What did I tell you about getting on my nerves? I said you do it and you’re gone. So how about it? Is it time we split up or are you going to shut up and listen to me?” Cassidy realized his new status of ‘thin ice,’ leaned back in his seat and slouched, obviously defeated. Guillermo sighed and rolled his eyes, while Cassidy folded his arms in a huff. Everyone finished their breakfast uneventfully after that.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

IRC. He had a habit of debilitating additions that needed death quite badly. So we're thankful for his additions. In this one, he destroys basically every thought that Guillermo had in Staffmaster's previous addition. I considered removing Staffmaster's post entirely, but I'm trying my hardest not to remove anything completely.

_____

26th Post – IRC 05

*IRC5* - *twenty-six*

Guillermo decided against even considering an artificial arm. It was still a new invention, and most arms were just a hook on a stick, or some piece of armor that was attached to the stump. They were purely for aesthetic purposes and usually served no practical value, at least not when it came to fighting monsters or loading a flintlock. The ones that were actually useful were way out of his price range, besides. Even with his momentary trouble getting dressed that morning, he was starting to get used to the idea of having only one arm. Fortunately, his right hand was his sword hand, so he wasn't totally useless.

Deciding that his hair was fine for the moment, he headed towards a little tailor shop he knew in the East District. But on the way he heard the sound of someone walking with a cane. Guillermo knew that there must have been hundreds of people that lived in the city with canes, but for some reason this sound stood out. Everything else seemed to drown out and the tap of the cane on the cobbled street echoed in his ears.

Turning around, Guillermo caught a glimpse of a man in black disappearing down an alley.

"There is no freaking way..." he muttered to himself. But still he hurried down the alleyway trying to catch up to the man he knew to be Sir Dobbel.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

Ryu's second addition, and in a lot of ways, the best addition in the story so far. The only problem a lot of people had with Ryu's stuff is that it can become hard to understand the sentences due to his complex language and sentence structures. And by complex I don't mean a dependent clause tacked onto an independent clause, just... complicated. While I find it only a small, trivial problem, others weren't so kind. I changed one sentence here, but I can't remember which one. It was mostly trivial, I think. I think. : \ But this is also the longest addition so far, weighing in at nearly double the longest post so far. Good stuff, and gets us moving in a proper direction once again.

_____

27th Post – Ryu 02

*Ryu2* - *twenty-seven*

The dull pats of the old wooden cane echoed in Guillermo’s head as if in an empty warehouse, making it difficult for him to detect from which direction the repetitious sound was coming from as he followed the resonance as best he could. The streets were eerily vacant in the morning air; it seemed thicker than usual. He pursued the noises through numerous twists and turns, and he worried if his navigational skills could get him back to the inn. Damn alleyways are like a freaking’ maze, he thought as he chased the steady hum of the cane as its taps all seemed to merge into one solid vibration. He didn’t know if he would be relieved or disappointed if the cane did not belong to whom he thought it must.

By this time Guillermo had seen no another souls strolling the alleyways; it was as if the same call of the cane, like a passionate howl of a wolf, warned the local denizens from straying into the chaotic mist beyond their doors, while it conversely beckoned him forth. Finally, as he wondered just how fast whoever this guy could possibly be, he traced the sound as coming at the end of his current path as it widened into a public park that connected several alleyways. The park seemed to be drowned in a subtle haze, as if all the smells and grime of the city had been funneled into the place by the alleyways. It smelled like old dead trees nonetheless.

Guillermo, his pace almost reaching a dash, stopped short and grasped his still aching arm as he came across a surreal sight in the corner of the park. Waving his arms slowly and meditatively with his feet apart stood Dobbel about ten feet away in the scanty shade of an isolated patch of thin, tall trees. A dilapidated wooden bench sat obtrusively a couple yards to Guillermo’s right—their only company besides the trees and walls. The same sense of dread and foreboding indigenous to previous notations of Dobbel’s presence rushed through Guillermo’s body as swiftly as blood through arteries—a fact all the more surprising to him considering Dobbel’s kindly nature following the fateful accident on the pathways to Jaegar. Their eyes locked together like a rope tethered sternly between two posts as Dobbel cracked a knowing smile signaling that he had something interesting to reveal. Guillermo walked forth.

“Sorry to come to you (Guillermo instantly found this strange considering the great effort exerted just to catch the sneaky old man) in yur moment of weakness,” Dobbel said with a pause as he closed his hand cautiously over a small red rubber ball, “but then again, you are a weak man.” He opened up his other hand and a red ball seemed to grow from his palm like a blossom. A whirlpool of decidedly important thoughts had been making their endless round within Guillermo’s head—the repeated battles, the loss of his arm, the decision to allow Cassidy to follow him, the healing of the captain, the advent of Sanya and Dobbel’s mysterious presence, the wonders and promises of Jaegar, Arc and Seek and the planned journey to Kolika Bay, his undetermined future—and this little trick had irritated, even angered, him in its triviality.

“Learned it in Hymaltus—there are a couple of folks there who can show you how you can move a ball faster in ways you’d never believe,” he said as he methodically slipped the token into a pocket in exchange for his cane that had been at his belt for that brief interlude.

“Nevermind that,” Guillermo clipped with some annoyance, “what do you want with me… and what did you mean by calling me weak?”

“Well, I’ve been watching you if you may ‘ave noticed—I can see it in yur eyes: every third young man yur age is like you….maybe every other fellow it seems nowadays. ….Either they’ve been crushed by war and its horrors and monsters’ carnage as jus’ another soldier – you were in the army, correct? – or peasant or they’re lookin’ for a way to make sense of it all due to the guilt at having done nothin’ to stop this world from going to ****. And the harder they try, the bigger hole they dig themselves into, and the worse they feel for failing.” He gestured to Guillermo’s pitiful stump of an arm, and shot another squinty-eyed, wry-lipped smile.

Guillermo frowned and looked vaguely forth—Dobbel’s words seemed too abstract to make practical sense of, wondering whether they accurately described his plight and dilemma seemed too loose a concept to consider.

“What’s more, I’ve seen how you treat that little rapscallion. You see his light – he’s always so positive, so simple, and you resent him for it. Thus you judge him based on his poverty, his youthful naivety, his stupid happiness with life despite all that this world has been through; and you think, ‘I’m better than him—just look at how foolish he is.’ The cool, indifferent façade and formidable aura that you carry so well bears witness to the compensatin’ covering of yur weakness, yur striving to cope the reality of your failures and insignificance, yur need to be worth something--not just another foolish being that cares not where the world ends up.

You see, you are not like him—remember our first conversation? I tested you then. Yur conflicted eyes, yur lack of acceptance at yur lost arm, yur determination not to lose consciousness in the face of one you don’t trust—I can tell you want the power to change the world for good for a change. That boy’s existence is a paradox: he doesn’t care enough about life to be dissatisfied with the way the world has turned out, yet he cares enough about life to be happy with everythin’ regardless of what excrement lands on him. He takes pride in the little things, like stealin’ herbs to serve the pragmatic purposes he deems best. I tell you, people like him will never muster the drive needed to revolutionize reality, although yur rubbing off on him – yur mere presence challenges him to better himself.

“For you,” (Dobbel’s eyes acquired a screwy, scrunched-up glare), “you have the ambition to modify what you see, and yur conscious of the dissatisfaction with yur powerlessness to amend this world’s sorry history, or add a new chapter. You desire power to do just that. In fact, that’s why you left yur home—to find a solution to yur own feelin’s of weakness.”

Guillermo wondered with positive bewilderment at what possible agenda could be defining why Dobbel was telling him this. Guillermo, while easily irritated, typically could absorb much insult before his threshold of offense had been reached, but he failed to handle these audacious claims of having him all figured out. He hadn’t even figured himself out yet.

“You’re a madman,” Guillermo muttered with finality as he veered left to leave, but a sudden swipe of Dobbel’s cane against a nearby tree forced him as if on cue to face Dobbel once again.

Dobbel continued as if his lecture had not been breached:

“What if I told you that you could transcend yur limitations? This is what the world is like when left to humans in their current state of existence—war divides us while we are powerless to stop the monsters that plague us. Thus mankind must evolve. It’s the only way. And it’s at our fingertips.”

Guillermo shot Dobbel a look of suspicion.

“What if I told you that you could get yur arm back, and what’s more, an arm more beautiful, more human than the one you lost—not some rusty, irony, nuts and bolts, clanking mechanical one, like all the other fools and their simple solutions? You’ve seen me heal that captain back there—there’s no doubt he would have died otherwise, right? Didn’t need a mechanical chestplate cork to fill that gaping whole. That’s only a sample of what’s in store for you.” The suggestion almost crushed Guillermo like an avalanche of a falling castle wall, so drastic the visual effect of it had been upon him. Having thought he totally dismissed the idea of a mechanical arm, the promise of some sort of flesh proved all the more instigating, but Guillermo vaguely noted the peculiar usage of “beautiful” and “human”—with an entity as mysterious as Dobbel, those adjectives could have meant anything. At that instant, twisting spires of pain surged through his handicapped appendage, as if some external force had catalyzed this cruel reminder of his condition.

Guillermo swiped his remaining arm through the air in front of him, half as a reaction to the throbbing intensity of his pain, half as an attempt to appear impressive and forceful after Dobbel’s longwinded monologue.

“That’s impossible!” he cried with passion. “You’re playing mind games with me, you old haunt. After multiple episodes of following me while playing this ridiculous game of hide-and-seek, you assault me with this nonsense. I don’t need your sympathy or your incomprehensible ramblings. And what makes you think I even want a new arm—I’m not as weak as you suppose—I’ll manage just fine without your supposed patronage,” Guillermo clenched his fist with antipathy towards the drastic measures required to exude some sense of power towards this seemingly average old man. A somber, “Let me alone,” indicated a last resort to maintain his indifferent nature. A patch of cool moisture briefly floated past his face.

Dobbel remained unfazed, preferring instead to watch intently at Guillermo’s calm, yet intense eyes. At that surprisingly not uncomfortable moment, Guillermo realized at once part of what had disturbed him earlier with Dobbel’s presence. His right eye, while light blue and unsettlingly deep in its own right failed to match with his left—a crystal blue, seemingly faultless circle with a shiny black core embedded in a harness of snow white gloss. While the lesser eye remained steady, the amazing eye seemed almost to lock on individually to Guillermo’s features with decidedly mechanical precision; in fact, it was discharging a light hum that Guillermo couldn’t believe he didn’t notice before. Entranced with the optic jewel and the unimaginable depth it intimated, Guillermo could not shake the impression that he almost felt he could journey into this eye like an endless hallway in his own mind’s eye and become lost forever.

Dobbel released Guillermo from his gaze like an executioner severing the suspended rope of the hanged.

“I lost my first eye in a battle many a year ago. For all you know, this here better eye may be watching yur little cells multiply. And now, boy, you know that I can give you what you have lost and then some—starting with yur arm you’ll obtain the power to readjust the world as you see fit; this offer is about power, not ‘bout a stinkin’ arm,” he said, this time gravely serious, reclining forward on his cane.

“I…still don’t believe you,” Guillermo replied with effort, still reeling from Dobbel’s inhuman ability to control the conversation with mere words and gesticulation.

“What’s not to believe? Truth is stranger than fiction—this you have to learn. Nobody would have thought that monsters would have been polishin’ off the dwellings of man a year ago, but here we are. Stop doubting. Either I’m the biggest liar you ever did see, or I’m a tellin’ you the truth. Truth always comes in the most unassumin’ of packages.” Dobbel grinned once again and waved his hand over what the outside world could only assume was a common old man.

Guillermo, at a loss for words, could only muster a, “Why?” while apparently assuming Dobbel already knew what he meant by this expression.

“It’s simple: because I’ve been watching you and, as a harbinger of the next stage of human evolution, selected you from a vast pool of human hosts, deciding you’ve the ambition to take the beauty of your new flesh to its highest potential. As you might suspect, since this technology is far beyond what anyone might have guessed for this age, the resources necessary are tremendously costly, and the exclusiveness of those chosen is enormously discriminatory. You should feel bless’d that I’ve chosen you, and my satisfaction comes only in the love of my work and the feelin’ of having made the correct choice. I ask only in return that, after the ‘surgery’, you accompany a troupe I’ve noticed—a particular organization that rewards proof of killing monsters with money and resources—on their expedition to try out yur new limb. I’m positive you’ll like it.”

Guillermo’s head burned with confusion, his desire to live as one not crippled clashing with the incompatible sentiments to trust or not to trust the inscrutable Dobbel.

“Come on, you don’t wanna have to fetch a partner just to load a gun—this is precisely the dependence and weakness you despise and strive to rid yourself of. You can deal with it, sure, but you don’t like it one bit.”

The environment seemed to swirl around Guillermo as he tingled with tension and dizziness—he had to press his tricorn to his head just to cure himself of the sensation that he might be tipping over. The inevitable ultimatum occurred:

“Boy, I’m only gonna ask you this once and you’ll have to stick by yur word: do you or do you not want me to give yur arm back?”

The desire to trust and wish Dobbel’s words to be true collided with a dark, subtle sense of foreboding like one airship into another. Thoughts and worries about Arc and Seek and Cassidy and the captain and the scheduled journey to Kolika Bay faded into the back of his mind like flotsam only to submerge like dregs and then resurface again. A sense of excitement overcame Guillermo, swamping his judgment.

“…Yes,” said Guillermo slowly.

“Excellent,” replied Dobbel with a grin, and with that tapped his cane on the crumb-like soil below. A whole sky full of cloud’s worth of grey gas flooded out from beneath them.

Guillermo reared back as breathing abruptly proved difficult, and only succeeded in inhaling a thick wisp of the dismal fumes as he tried to respire. The gas seemed to congest his sinuses as he keeled over onto the ground, then fell onto his back; he groggily minded the ghostly, light-blue silhouette of Dobbel standing upright as his heavy eyelids zipped themselves shut.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

Caciss's 5th and final addition. I don't really know what to say about this one. It completely avoids Guillermo's portion of the story, and starts a string of additions that originally led to the near demise of the story early on. I don't help in that regard, but that's for tomorrow's addition. C'est la vie. This is Walgreens.

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28th Post – Caciss 05

*Caciss5* - *twenty-eight*

Cassidy turned around suddenly. His sharp eyes sought Guillermo, but he was gone. Silently cursing to himself, he started walking back and tried to recall where his friend had left his side. Then he became impatient, turned around and decided to wait at the tailor’s in hopes of Guillermo’s return.

*****

Arc and Seek were resting by the docks. They sat listening to all the sounds of the mechanics flowing through them. It was still early so they were not as active as usual. Arc tilted his head back and stared up at the bright blue sky, sighing. Seek twisted his head to look at Arc, “Miss flying already?”

“Yeah. Don’t you?” Arc asked, chuckling.

Seek smiled. “Well, of course I do. Only one more day ‘til the The Inspiration sets sail. Can’t wait to get back in the air. ”

“And shoot this gun,” he said, pointing at the rifle in his lap.

Seek half frowned. “Well, let’s quit moaning. Why don’t we go back to town to find Guillermo and Cassidy and head over to the beach?”

“A little early, isn’t it?” Arc queried.

“By the time we find those two explorers, it will be the perfect time to swim!” Seek exclaimed.

“I think I’ll just sit here awhile longer,” said Arc.

Seek sighed. “Alright. I guess people can't always be happy. Just don’t let whatever it is get to yah, okay?”

“Sure,” Arc replied. “Meet you at the pavilion in town?”

“Sounds good.” Seek got up, took a breath, and went on his way back to town. The wind never felt so alive.

*****

Seek arrived in the pavilion just in time to see some of the shops come alive with light. It seemed to only be a matter of seconds before people flooded the area. The confused mixture of talking created what seemed like one sound which flooded Seek’s mind. The quiet always made his ears burn. Without the constant purring of an engine or the blasting of a gun he felt alone, a feeling he never really shared with anyone else.

After waiting a long while, he knew that Arc would not be coming anytime soon. So he wandered off in search of Guillermo and Cassidy. It didn’t take long to spot Cassidy sitting outside of the tailor’s. Seek quickly took a seat next to Cassidy and looked at his red face.

“Guillermo… Guillermo… ditched me, Seek!” he cried out.

Seek squinted and frowned. “You sure you just didn’t lose him?”

“Nah, he’s been gone awhile,” Cassidy sniffed. “He would have known I'd be waiting here.”

“Now I don’t think that Guillermo would be the kinda guy to ditch you,” his companion replied. “Something must have happened to him. Why don’t we go search for him?”

Cassidy sort of smiled and said, “Looks like you're missin’ a buddy, too.”

Seek smiled back. “See? We're in the same jam.”

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

Second addition by yours truly. Three things to note here:
1. I changed the description of Avery a little bit; I'm still ashamed of this addition because of its bad writing and flagrant disregard for the actual story.

2. I didn't write about Guillermo because I felt really uncomfortable taking the key position after his scene with Dobbel. At this point of the story, I just had an extreme distaste for Guillermo in general, and it shows in my next few additions. I was much more enthused about the prospect of the secondary characters at this point, those being Seek, Arc, Cassidy, and Avery.

3. This was my first real attempt at writing seriously. The complete lack of female characters at this point drew me towards Avery instantly, and I felt we needed to develop her a little bit more. Thus the small bit of romantic activity displaced between the two A's. More on this later.

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29th Post – BRC 02

*BRC2* - *twenty-nine*

As Arc watched Seek stroll away, his eyes grew heavy and he turned his attention to the sky. Watching as a green and brown airship floated by overhead, he eventually nodded off to sleep.

He hadn't been sleeping for very long when the sound of a click aroused his attention. Odd, that sounded like my gun... Realizing what had just happened, his eyes sprang open to see the barrel of his rifle staring him down. His eyes were focused on the barrel, so he couldn't tell who was holding the gun above him. Sure that it was some lowlife or thief, he begged with them: “Please, don't kill me, just take it and go!” He heard the click of the gun again, and forced his eyes closed, knowing the last sound he would hear was the gunshot ringing through his forehead.

“Arc, Arc, Arc, when are you going to learn not to fall asleep with your gun in plain sight?” said a quite amused Avery, who had enjoyed every second of Arc's whimpering. When he opened his eyes again, she dropped the gun into his lap. As Arc stood up with his rifle in tow, he shook away the fear.

“You gotta stop doing that, Avery.” She laughed at him for his cowardice.

“I know, I know. But you looked too pleasant sitting there, just thought I'd make sure you weren't dreaming about me.” Her words cast a red flush over his face as he remembered that he was in fact dreaming about her.

“Whatever, Avery...” His tone trailed off, knowing he couldn't think of anything witty to best her with. She started to say something, but he wasn’t listening. His thoughts were on her, not what she was saying. Even though he considered himself quite the ladies’ man, he always took a liking to Avery over the rest. Maybe it was her fair skin despite a sailor’s life, her shining brown hair that was always shoulder-length, and those dark blue eyes. Or perhaps it was her robust figure that he always likened to, so much different than the dainty barmaids and street peddlers, yet resonating a strong feminine personality. He stood there for a good minute or two taking her in, when she finally slapped him on the back of the head.

“Hey, weren't you paying attention to me? Captain Arguile wanted me to find you and Seek and head back to meet with him. There's something he wants to discuss with you two urgently. Apparently, it involves me as well. Now, where's Seek?”

Arc rubbed his head before answering. “Uh, Seek just went off to find Guillermo and Cassidy, I'm supposed to meet them at the pavilion in a little while. You wanna walk with me over there?” Arc gestured towards the direction of the pavilion. “I'll bet he's waiting with the other two right now.”

“Hmm, alright, but we need to make this quick.” Arc knew that she didn’t like wasting time, and he figured that she was still worried about Captain Arguile. They walked off together towards the pavilion, and both of them were quickly smiling and laughing about past events, though Arc could tell Avery was troubled by the captain, and by what she would do while they waited for another ship to become available.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: The Creative Writing Story 3.1 (Edited for Your Enjoyment)

Starba's final addition. I would have imagined her staying around for longer, but if you know anything about the original version of this story, things quickly spiraled out of control shortly after this addition, and a couple things happened that completely deterred her away from the story from that point on. More on that, tomorrow.

_____

30th Post – Starba 06

*Starba6* - *thirty*

Guillermo awoke in a violent fit. As soon as he opened his eyes, he could see menacing figures looming over him with arms outstretched. Startled, he leapt up, but was met with a sharp jolt to the small of his back. Wheeling around, he saw that he had run into the seat of a warped wooden bench. Above him, the images of imposing creatures disappeared and were replaced by the knotted branches of old trees.

Guillermo sighed through heavy breaths and wiped the cold sweat from his brow. He vaguely remembered where he was, but the park looked somewhat different now. The sun had long since risen and was now high in the early afternoon sky. As the numbness of sleep faded, the midday heat was becoming unbearable. Guillermo stumbled to his feet and groggily wandered out of the park and into the maze of alleyways.

*****

"This is impossible," Cassidy groaned. "It's past five and we've covered the pavilion, the airship docks, and four streets. I'm starting to think he just up and left town."

Seek scratched the stubble on his slender chin. "It's possible, but I doubt it. Besides, Jaegar's a lot bigger than what we've seen in just these few hours."

"The Leaky Gasket," Cassidy said, snapping his fingers. "We can wait for him there. We were supposed to meet up there tonight, weren't we? I could use a drink anyway."

Seek laughed softly. "I bet Arc forgot," he said. "I almost did."

"I'm surprised we didn't run into him. We've been all over this... wait a minute... whoa!" Cassidy balked.

"What? What is it?"

"I'm seeing things..." he said and proceeded to run up ahead. "Hey Guillermo!" he cried, waving. Guillermo stumbled to a halt and looked around, bewildered. "Here! Over here!"

"You..." Guillermo said. "Argh...My head is pounding..."

"Ha! They musta knocked you out good to sew it on. It looks great. I didn't know they could do that!"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You're a real lucky guy, Guillermo," Seek said. "I've never heard of them succeeding at that kind of surgery before. Still, it must have cost you a fortune..."

"Huh?"

"He must be on some good drugs..." Cassidy smirked.

"C'mon, I'll take you back to the hotel," Seek said, steadying the man. "Go to the Leaky Gasket and tell Arc where we are once he gets there," he told Cassidy. "This fellow doesn't need a bar tonight."