Jolene Bloop

[DK]

Re: Jolene Bloop

The look improves it a lot but there's still that something!

I think MAYBE it's your tone, you sound a little too monotone in this one. Stupid girls are in hysterics when their kitties are dying!

The ending made me LOL a lot though, but getting there seemed like a bit of a trek. I mention this because you said you wanted these to be succinct and not boring but it felt a little slow at the beginning...I don't know

[highwind]

Re: Jolene Bloop

The look improves it a lot but there's still that something!

I think MAYBE it's your tone, you sound a little too monotone in this one. Stupid girls are in hysterics when their kitties are dying!

The ending made me LOL a lot though, but getting there seemed like a bit of a trek. I mention this because you said you wanted these to be succinct and not boring but it felt a little slow at the beginning...I don't know

Yeah, I don't know what to tell ya.

I used the rule of thirds and the bit is only a minute long.

I'm also not sure how to go any further away from monotone than the emotions of laughter and crying.

Basically, I appreciate it but there's really no way for me to do anything to improve upon based on what you said...

[Magus]

Re: Jolene Bloop

I ENJOYED IT ESPECIALLY THE END it was gross =(

Though perhaps you could be more hysterical. In the running mascara, whooping, bouncing, flailing arm way.

Just don't hurt yourself. {:3

[highwind]

Re: Jolene Bloop

Well, I suppose I could be more theatrical but I'm trying to toe the fine line between allowing the writing to stand out and just being a raving jackass making fun of hysterical women. That's really not the intended joke.

I can't imagine considering something slow that's only a minute long, peppered with small jokes along the way (Rihanna ring tone, hand job in back of mcdonalds parking lot, 14 years old not old in dog years, giving pawless cat roller skates and selling it to the circus) that ultimately lead to a punchline that you laugh at. But what do I know? Altoecko felt the Tramp Stamp episode dragged a bit and its only 41 seconds long. This isn't Wario Ware.

Jolene doesn't wear makeup because she doesn't know how to. You learn this in the episode titled..Makeup. I want to be a dude that is barely doing enough to impersonate a girl - hence the facial hair. It's supposed to be weird - it's not a traditional "dude dressed in drag" character.

I don't know what else to say. I spent an hour finding that Umbrella Remix ringtone.

[DK]

Re: Jolene Bloop

Well, I suppose I could be more theatrical but I'm trying to toe the fine line between allowing the writing to stand out and just being a raving jackass making fun of hysterical women. That's really not the intended joke.

In that case I'm confident you'll find the winning stride soon enough.

Yeah the big stimpy was kinda like "Man, I know he's gotta already know about half of this stuff I'm saying".

[highwind]

Re: Jolene Bloop

Jolene Bloop - Pickup Line

[Riotsword]

Re: Jolene Bloop

*** SPOILERS ***
It means you've got a cute little vuh-jay-jay. O_O
*** END SPOILERS ***




Is it me or is there at least one quotable line per short?

[pinkymadigan]

Re: Jolene Bloop

I must be a weirdo. I love it. Keep it up man.

[highwind]

Re: Jolene Bloop

You're all weirdos in my book!

Jolene Bloop - Horoscope

[pinkymadigan]

Re: Jolene Bloop

Nice. Pointing to the beard when talking about his beard is the epitome of ridiculousness.

[RPGD]

Re: Jolene Bloop

Today's horoscope was the best part. Excellent.

Coincidentally, I'm also a Libra.

[highwind]

Re: Jolene Bloop

Jolene Bloop - America Sucks

Jolene has had enough of feeling suffocated by her homeland and decides to travel abroad. Can anything possibly change her mind?

[IRC]

Re: Jolene Bloop

Have you made internet monies yet?

[highwind]

Re: Jolene Bloop

Have you made internet monies yet?

None.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: Jolene Bloop

The rice line made me laugh. Cause I was eating rice at the time.