Let's talk about sex, babe.

[Funk]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

Exactly. Weddings are a terrible thing to waste money on. One of the worst things I can think of, actually.

[Sampson]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

I agree, but most people don't.

The average cost of a wedding is 20k-30k not including engagement rings or honeymoon. I assume you'll get some of this back in gift money, but probably not all or even most of it.

[Caciss]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

My dad is getting divorced for the third time, and all my aunts and uncles haven been divorced at least once, if not twice.

I definitely have a negative view of marriage.

[ErikaFuzzbottom]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

If I ever get married, it'll be to someone whom I'd already been dating for years. It won't be a guarenteed thing, but the odds of us sticking together would be so much better by that point.

And wow, I knew weddings were expensive, but that's just ridiculous.

[Hrafn]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

I think there's a lot of valid points being made against marriage. But you're all overlooking one thing: if you don't want to get married, and she does, who do you think is going to win out?

[Sejon]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

I realize I'm hardly the norm, but my wedding's going to cost just a grand. Of course, it's going to be very small, with only immediate family and close friends. But that's partly out of sheer circumstances -- I have friends and family spread across several countries, so it's difficult for many of them to make it.

The UK spouse visa application fee for my fiancée cost us almost $1300, so that alone is more than the wedding.

And neither of us is a fan of overblown gala weddings anyway -- they feel less personal. But I guess it's just a matter of taste. My cousin's wedding was enormous and cost about 40 grand; and her parents are still in debt from paying for it. At least for ours we'll be picking up the bill ourselves. As small as a bill as it may be. But hey, we're artists.

Honeymoons seem more worth the expenditure than weddings anyway. We're making a trip to Barcelona -- something we're both extremely excited about, and have invested about as much planning and attention to as the wedding at this point.

[Dusk Raven]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

I personally seem unlikely to have a wedding at all. Little more than an expensive formality, I think, and there's not many I'd invite.

Marriage may still be likely, though.

[peachy]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

marriage is pretty important for the name of it. theres a push to get rid of stuff like that, and because marriage is costly theres a lot more young people who don't feel the necessity to get married which is imo going down the wrong road. it is necessary that we do things not only for the core value beneath them but for the things themselves- not so much to maintain the status quo but to maintain society as a whole- once we begin to tear away at its fabric we are left without anything at all.

marriage is important because your argument against it is economical. it costs too much, and it doesn't benefit me- thinking in purely economical terms might be useful sometimes but for the experience of being human it does not lend itself well. having a child will not benefit you because they are far too expensive for it to ever prove an economical boon to you, but it is still a necessity to continue our existence.

to shrug this off by saying that you can't put a price on certain things, and that the bond gained from marriage and the joys etc. cannot be named in price and that by not being married in the legal sense you still have these is just a sham. not getting married because of economic reasons, because of the costs of divorce is saying that you are unable to surrender yourself to the holiest of loves- that you have such a fear of life that you cannot go against the values imbibed within you by the worst of our economic society but also that you have the fear that you have the knowledge that every relationship will end in failure. to even consider the aspects of divorce is simply ludicrous in the face of the holy love.

we cannot put names and prices onto love, and we cannot begin to enter economics and all of that other stupid human bull**** when we enter the realm of the holy love because none of that exists. when you start to bring words into things, words and reasoning everything gets all muddled up and you will transform something from beautiful into something grotesque and animal, and you will fall from the holy love into just ****ing.

[John Mora]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

I dunno when holiness got its business up in my ****ing.

[Nixon]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

I agree.

You don't need to be married to be in love, have kids, or raise a family. Getting married also doesn't make your relationship any more special. It just means you paid someone to get a fancy piece of paper that indicates that you're really fond of ancient biblical garbage.

I've seen too many divorces and too many miserable married couples to still believe in marriage. It might happen to me, but if it doesn't, I'm okay with that. I'd rather just be in love and not have to quantify it.

[The_Real_Crunk]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

Dont you start getting taxed differently anyways after living together for a year and not being married? Common-law marriage or something like that?

Im not really in support of marriage either. Marriage is on the decline everywhere, and my mother thinks its the end of the world, and keeps asking when Im going top marry some girl. Yargh. My parents both have a very old mindset from "back in the day" and hate anything new or different. Also every brown person is a muslim to them and they hate them.

My sister wanted to marry her boyfriend and kept bugging him about it all the time, and he kept telling her he loves her, but hes never going to get married to anybody. They ended up hating each other but they had a kid together and thought they could work things out. They couldnt and split, and now they are fighting over the baby. They both act like little kids about it, with my sister being the worst of the two. Shes just a straight up ***** most of the time. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if they got hitched. Shes already poor enough as is, even with my parents paying for all lawyers fees over child custody BS.

[DK]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

It's a sticky proposition for sure, but not one I've given up on.

[peachy]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

I agree.

You don't need to be married to be in love, have kids, or raise a family. Getting married also doesn't make your relationship any more special. It just means you paid someone to get a fancy piece of paper that indicates that you're really fond of ancient biblical garbage.

I've seen too many divorces and too many miserable married couples to still believe in marriage. It might happen to me, but if it doesn't, I'm okay with that. I'd rather just be in love and not have to quantify it.

isnt by refusing marriage quantifying your love? marriage isnt ancient biblical garbage because there are societies with marriage without biblical garbage and marriage came before biblical garbage- marriage is the union of two beings and marriage and love are redemptive in that they are able to close the distance between subject and object so much that they become one- william hecht and jessica herbert william hecht loves jessica herbert, the william being the subject and jessica the object, or vice versa if thats how you roll, becomes simply hecht eliminating subject object verb and completely abandoning sentence structure and grammar and being human and mortal to become the singular, the "green thought on a green shade".

to look in the face of love and say "my past experiences tell me that marriage ends in failure" and use that as an excuse to not being willing to get over being human to surrender yourself to this union is quantifying it more so than marriage does. without marriage you cannot go beyond the limits of the subject and the object, the lover and the beloved, and it is not until you can that you can really truly have looked love in its eyes. the union of marriage is the final stage of love- the religions have it wrong because it is so easy for our bodies to love and to become one- but to completely transcend this whole business of being human, of having language, of all these signs and signifiers or whatever is a completely higher level that without the word marriage, without the concept of it will be completely lost.

Marriage is on the decline everywhere

in the west its become a lot more common to just live together and not be married, but im pretty sure in china they just bypass the whole economic bit by not really having a wedding but being married anyway (young people).

[John Mora]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

Two people who get married are still two people. I don't get all this gobble-dee-**** you're pushing.

[Nixon]

Re: Let's talk about sex, babe.

isnt by refusing marriage quantifying your love?

Nope. I'm not refusing it, I just don't buy into the concept. You don't need marriage to experience true love, nor does being married make your love any different or better. If people want to get married and it makes them feel good, great. But the notion that it give you some sort of super love powers is absurd.

Your concept of marriage makes no sense to me. I'm not going to forget what I've learned and throw logic out the window just for the sake of some anachronistic tradition.