Recently, I have been hit with a barrage of stupid customers at work, and I have been writing about these incidents on my blog. I've decided to share them directly with you guys here as I think you will get a kick out of some of the stuff I have to deal with on a daily basis.
Enjoy!
Chapter one- Attack of the Apeman!
The title of this entry is the only word I can use to describe the customer in this story. It happened 2 Saturdays ago, near the end of my opening 6-4 shift (I had to stay an extra hour until the closing manager came in as my Assistant Store Manager is on vacation and I have to fill in for him). I got a call from a cashier who asked that I go speak to guy who was freaking out over some lumber she accidentally damaged. I approached this cashier so she could explain what happeneded first. "Well, basically that guy over there left his cart with a few pieces of lumber on it in front of my register. It was in the way, so I gently pushed it down the lumber aisle. Honestly, I didn't push it hard, but I guess it hit this sheet of Dri-Core and now the lumber has some small dents in it. Whatever, this guy is freaking over nothing."
I approach this guy, and right away, I can tell he is going to be a handful. He was easily a half foot taller than me, and when I walked up to him and said, "Hello sir, I understand we damaged some product you are interested in?", he didn't even make eye contact with me. Instead, he kept his gaze above and past me, out towards the lumber doors. The moment I finished with my greeting, he rolled his eyes.
Oh goody.
"Well, for whatever reason, probably because she's a ****ing idiot, your cashier over there decided to ram my cart down the aisle into this drywall and now all 6 pieces are damaged. These are the last 6 you have, and I need them NOW! This is bullsh**, I hate Home Depot for this reason."
Normally, swearing from a customer irks me, and I will usually asks them to stop in a polite tone as I know it makes other customers uncomfortable. However, no other customers were around, so I let him continue his little tirade.
"I'm paying 4 guys $25 an hour to be here, and I've already wasted 20 minutes to talk to you, so you tell me, what are you going to do?" (In no way was this guy waiting 20 minutes to speak to me. I was in the phone center, directly next to the lumber doors, for 30 minutes before I got the call.)
"Well, forgive me sir as I normally don't work with lumber, but is there anyway you can salvage it for the job? Can you use putty, can you sand it, or buff it?"
"Are you kidding me? NO! The customer wants a natural, unfinished wood look!" I procede to point out that the dents on the pieces are smaller than my pinkie nail, and putty should do the job. He procedes to start ranting and raving while flailing his arms in the air and walking in circles. I almost wanted to laugh, seeing a grown man act like a monkey on PMS. It was around this point that one of his contractor compadres walks up and asks what's going on. Apeman tells him that we smashed the lumber into the drywall, thereby ruining the last 6 pieces of this medium grade wood (We carry 3 grades- Basic kiln dried spruce, the medium quality that they choose, and the top grade which is twice as much as the medium grade).
"This is ******ing stupid, I don't know WHY you bring me here, you should NEVER deal with Home Depot!" The GOOD guy turns to me and mouths an "I'm sorry" for his buddy's temper tantrum. "It's okay, I've dealt with worse and I've got a thick skin. Maybe you can tell me, can you salvage it with putty or by buffing it out?". The GOOD contractor tells me that it will be a lot of extra labour, but it can be done. Apeman walks back up and asks that I give them the top quality wood for the same price as this stuff, an I refuse.
"Well guys, it looks like you have two options. Option one is that you guys take these 6 pieces and I mark them down 15%, or you take the top grade and I markdown half of the difference." Apeman asks what the hell I mean, and I explain that if this piece here in front of me is $10, and the same piece at top grade is $20, I will sell the top grade to him for $15. They ask to discuss it for a moment. This whole time, I have been very mindful of my body language- open arms, palms up, eye contact, smile. That was about to change, FAST.
"We'll take the 15%" says Apeman. At this point, his buddy realizes he has grabbed the wrong size of screws and says he'll be back in a minute with the correct size. He leaves, and I am left with the PMSing monkey, who decided to have one more go at me...
"Jesus Christ, I can't belive this! They have a ******ING CHICK running the Home Depot! What the hell, you are ******ing fresh out of highschool too. Jesus, they'll take anyone that comes through those doors and submits a resume. Here ya go, run the store!"
Oh no you di'n't!!!!
I snapped into defence mode so fast I almost got a crick in my neck. I crossed my arms, spread my feet apart, took a power stance, and with the most stone cold straigth forward face, I said, "Well jeeze sir, I didn't realize it took FOUR grown men to come and buy 6 pieces of lumber!"
The look on his face was priceless.
His chin dropped, and he stood there with his mouth open like, well like an APEMAN!!! I grabbed the 6 steel studs he also wanted and said, "Yeah, that's what I thought. How about I get you trough the cash now?" and I walked away as he tried to grab the 6 pieces of lumber and catch up with me.
The funny thing is, I JUST recieved my "4 Years Of Service" badge two days prior, but I decided to NOT wear it on my apron as 4 is my favourite number, and knowing that this is my last year, I wanted to preserve it. I wonder if he still would have flown off the handle like that if he had known I have been doing this job for 20% of my life.
Enjoy!
Chapter one- Attack of the Apeman!
The title of this entry is the only word I can use to describe the customer in this story. It happened 2 Saturdays ago, near the end of my opening 6-4 shift (I had to stay an extra hour until the closing manager came in as my Assistant Store Manager is on vacation and I have to fill in for him). I got a call from a cashier who asked that I go speak to guy who was freaking out over some lumber she accidentally damaged. I approached this cashier so she could explain what happeneded first. "Well, basically that guy over there left his cart with a few pieces of lumber on it in front of my register. It was in the way, so I gently pushed it down the lumber aisle. Honestly, I didn't push it hard, but I guess it hit this sheet of Dri-Core and now the lumber has some small dents in it. Whatever, this guy is freaking over nothing."
I approach this guy, and right away, I can tell he is going to be a handful. He was easily a half foot taller than me, and when I walked up to him and said, "Hello sir, I understand we damaged some product you are interested in?", he didn't even make eye contact with me. Instead, he kept his gaze above and past me, out towards the lumber doors. The moment I finished with my greeting, he rolled his eyes.
Oh goody.
"Well, for whatever reason, probably because she's a ****ing idiot, your cashier over there decided to ram my cart down the aisle into this drywall and now all 6 pieces are damaged. These are the last 6 you have, and I need them NOW! This is bullsh**, I hate Home Depot for this reason."Normally, swearing from a customer irks me, and I will usually asks them to stop in a polite tone as I know it makes other customers uncomfortable. However, no other customers were around, so I let him continue his little tirade.
"I'm paying 4 guys $25 an hour to be here, and I've already wasted 20 minutes to talk to you, so you tell me, what are you going to do?" (In no way was this guy waiting 20 minutes to speak to me. I was in the phone center, directly next to the lumber doors, for 30 minutes before I got the call.)"Well, forgive me sir as I normally don't work with lumber, but is there anyway you can salvage it for the job? Can you use putty, can you sand it, or buff it?""Are you kidding me? NO! The customer wants a natural, unfinished wood look!" I procede to point out that the dents on the pieces are smaller than my pinkie nail, and putty should do the job. He procedes to start ranting and raving while flailing his arms in the air and walking in circles. I almost wanted to laugh, seeing a grown man act like a monkey on PMS. It was around this point that one of his contractor compadres walks up and asks what's going on. Apeman tells him that we smashed the lumber into the drywall, thereby ruining the last 6 pieces of this medium grade wood (We carry 3 grades- Basic kiln dried spruce, the medium quality that they choose, and the top grade which is twice as much as the medium grade)."This is ******ing stupid, I don't know WHY you bring me here, you should NEVER deal with Home Depot!" The GOOD guy turns to me and mouths an "I'm sorry" for his buddy's temper tantrum. "It's okay, I've dealt with worse and I've got a thick skin. Maybe you can tell me, can you salvage it with putty or by buffing it out?". The GOOD contractor tells me that it will be a lot of extra labour, but it can be done. Apeman walks back up and asks that I give them the top quality wood for the same price as this stuff, an I refuse."Well guys, it looks like you have two options. Option one is that you guys take these 6 pieces and I mark them down 15%, or you take the top grade and I markdown half of the difference." Apeman asks what the hell I mean, and I explain that if this piece here in front of me is $10, and the same piece at top grade is $20, I will sell the top grade to him for $15. They ask to discuss it for a moment. This whole time, I have been very mindful of my body language- open arms, palms up, eye contact, smile. That was about to change, FAST."We'll take the 15%" says Apeman. At this point, his buddy realizes he has grabbed the wrong size of screws and says he'll be back in a minute with the correct size. He leaves, and I am left with the PMSing monkey, who decided to have one more go at me...
"Jesus Christ, I can't belive this! They have a ******ING CHICK running the Home Depot! What the hell, you are ******ing fresh out of highschool too. Jesus, they'll take anyone that comes through those doors and submits a resume. Here ya go, run the store!"Oh no you di'n't!!!!
I snapped into defence mode so fast I almost got a crick in my neck. I crossed my arms, spread my feet apart, took a power stance, and with the most stone cold straigth forward face, I said, "Well jeeze sir, I didn't realize it took FOUR grown men to come and buy 6 pieces of lumber!"
The look on his face was priceless.
His chin dropped, and he stood there with his mouth open like, well like an APEMAN!!! I grabbed the 6 steel studs he also wanted and said, "Yeah, that's what I thought. How about I get you trough the cash now?" and I walked away as he tried to grab the 6 pieces of lumber and catch up with me.The funny thing is, I JUST recieved my "4 Years Of Service" badge two days prior, but I decided to NOT wear it on my apron as 4 is my favourite number, and knowing that this is my last year, I wanted to preserve it. I wonder if he still would have flown off the handle like that if he had known I have been doing this job for 20% of my life.
) and asked what I could do for him. 
"Well, I am interested in buying these chairs from you, but due to the dismal state they are in, nothing but an %85 discount will do." 
"Look sweetheart, I used to work for the Caledonia Home Depot you see? I KNOW how your job works, so why don't you just see what you can do, okay?" 
I saw the retail was $79.00 and our cost was not much lower (about $75), so we weren't really making money on these chairs. I decided to give him 10% off because all of our floor model merchandise that we sell (Bar b Ques, tools, patio sets, fans, etc) with huge scratches and dents go for a 10% discount. 
"Umm, sir, do you have any other I.D on you?" He gave me a most puzzled look
. He asked why, and I responded, 
"Welllll, on the back of you card here, there is no signature. Therefore, I need to see some I.D. to verify your signature. Like you said, YOU know how it is." 
"Oh, now you're being silly." ME?!?! SILLY?!?! NNNNOOOOOOooooo I said it was policy, just like he knew from Caledonia. In the end, when the lot associate came, he was like, 
"No no, Wayne stays here, he doesn't need to go to your car. Don't worry, he isn't going anywhere. I'll babysit him for ya!" 
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