Re: X-COM: SPECIAL REPORT, NIXON'S CRIB, AND NEW FACES.
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bring your own booyah. -
Re: X-COM: SPECIAL REPORT, NIXON'S CRIB, AND NEW FACES.
I know he's still working on this, he was *****ing about converting the .tif files to me yesterday.Last edited by Caciss; 09-26-2007, 10:45 AM.Comment
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Re: X-COM: SPECIAL REPORT, NIXON'S CRIB, AND NEW FACES.
Hey I'll enlist. I'll send those alien pondscums back to wherever the hell they came from, as well as get some major recognition to boot. They don't call me "Omnislash" fer nuthin.
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Re: X-COM: SPECIAL REPORT, NIXON'S CRIB, AND NEW FACES.
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Re: X-COM: SPECIAL REPORT, NIXON'S CRIB, AND NEW FACES.
This actually makes me want to play it again. Could never kick the habit of naming one of the girl characters Sigourney Weaver and make sure she'd live. The best moments in this game are when the aliens kill each other by accident.Comment
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Re: X-COM: SPECIAL REPORT, NIXON'S CRIB, AND NEW FACES.
I just want to know how long I'm going to remain in critical condition. *cough* My God! That's blood.
PSN: KingJamos
Add me... I'll wait.Comment
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Re: X-COM: SPECIAL REPORT, NIXON'S CRIB, AND NEW FACES.
*BEGIN RECORDING*
Thursday, January 21st, 1999.
We've had a busy day, after a long silence the aliens suddenly came in force; five UFOs detected in as many hours. With Nixon's Crib's Interceptors still not operational we were hardly able to mount a defense, resulting in only a single UFO being downed over South America. Unfortunately our recovery efforts were rudely interrupted:
With the main force from CentCom already en route to Brazil the task of dealing with the terrorists in Australia fell to green recruits at the Crib. Luckily, I had planned for this possibility, and sent over some officers from CentCom.
Here is a recording of their trial by plasma:
The new recruits stand silent as The Incorrigible Cocksman make it's final approach. Their eyes bely the terror they must feel after having to deal with orientation run by S.H.F.C, wherein he broke down crying and began accusing them all of judging him for having tiny biceps. He then professed his wish for each of them to die terrible deaths amidst torrents of green fire, then he pissed his pants or something I don't know.
The Incorrigible Cocksman lands in the backyard of a suburban home.
Jamos: Alright, you whelp-chans! This is it! Get out there and make your planet proud. Postulate, move out!
Postulate-1: *BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Duelpro: This new tank certainly lacks Dreamknight's panache.
Red Dragon: Kind of depressing, really.
The Postulate-1 lumbers out of the Cocksman.
Jamos: Dragon-chan, take up position next to that house.
Red Dragon: Alright, I can do this.
It turns out he can't and is blasted with plasma after taking one step out of the ship.
Red Dragon: AGH! THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I NEVER LEFT THE F#%KING SKYRANGER!
Dragon collapses in the grass with a thump.
Jamos: Sh%t. Duel-san, take out that fence so we can get a shot.
Duelpro: Roger.
Duelpro jogs out and lets loose a rocket. The fence explodes in a shower of debris, a lone sectoid can be seen.
Jamos: Target sighted, someone kill it!
Terrorist: I got it.
Terrorist: Nevermind, I don't got sh%t.
Dusk Raven shows some unexpected moxy and downs the alien in one shot.
Dusk Raven: Gee willikers, I got one!
Jamos: Well done, Raven-chan.
Dusk Raven: It's just like shootin' squirrels with my pa.
Jamos ignores that last comment and pulls a medkit from his pack.
Jamos: Hang on, Dragon-chan.
Red Dragon: I hate you so much right now, I should have never listened to you.
Meanwhile the Postulate-1 rolls into the neighboring yard, sighting a dead civilian.
Postulate-1: *Beep!*
Duelpro: I think he sees something, I don't know. He could really use some kind of voice program. One of you noobies go scout it out.
Jvr Lopez: I'll do it because I'm Mexican, which means I'm from Mexico, where most Mexicans live, Mexicans who are Mexican, like me. I'm Mexican like that guy from El Mariachi which had Mexican words in it's title and was directed by a Mexican. Mexican Mexican Mexico Mexican.
Jvr is shot on his way over to the Postulate-1.
Jvr Lopez: i¿Por qué?!
Jamos looks up from working on Dragon.
Jamos: Jesus Christ-san, can you people stop getting shot? Raven-chan, see if you can get a visual on whatever hostile just hit Lopez.
While Jamos lugs his med-kit from Dragon to Jvr, Dusk Raven moves up.
Dusk Raven: Boy howdy, we got one of the gray fellers over here!
Duelpro: Well f%#king kill it!
Dusk Raven: Such language, I tell you what my mama would smack me silly if I sai-
Duelpro: SHOOT DAMNIT!!
Dusk Raven begins to cry.
Terrorist: Don't worry boss, I'll do it.
Despite scoring a direct hit, and leaving a smoking hole beneath the Sectoids feet Terr fails to bring it down.
Terrorist: Oh, for f%@ks sake.
The Sectoid begins to beat a retreat, only to meet a lasery death from the Postulae-1.
Postulate-1: *BEEPITY BEEP!*
Jamos: That'll do, tank, that'll do.
Duelpro: Dusk Raven, I swear to God if you don't unf%#k yourself this instant I'll shoot you myself.
Dusk Raven collects himself and solemnly creeps along the picket fencing. A massive burst of plasma sails over his head.
Dusk Raven: Rasberries! There's some kinda big metal frisbee shootin' at me! It's flyin' in the air!
Dusk Raven lets a volley lasers off at the miniature saucer, causing it to come crashing to earth.
(note: this is actually pretty amazing, considering these things usually take multiple rockets and concentrated small arms fire to take down)
Dusk Raven: OH BOY! I got it!
Jamos: That'll do, pig, that'll do.
Duelpro: Hahaha.
Dusk Raven:
Meanwhile Shard makes his way toward the neighboring house, stepping over Jvrs convulsing body that Jamos is desperately trying to keep alive.
Shard: Postulate, go check the front of the house.
Postulate-1: *Beep!*
As the Postulate-1 makes it's way around the fence an alien grenade lands directly beneath it's treads.
Postulate-1: *BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!*
It desperately tries to reverse direction only to have a massive explosion tear it's inner workings to shreds.
Postulate-1: *Beep beep beep beep beep bee..*
Shard: Oh man, tank down!
Jamos: Alright, hold on I'm coming to cover you.
Jamos finishes bandaging up Jvr and stands.
Jvr: Gracias.
Jamos opens his mouth to respond, only to be interrupted by a burst of plasma flying in front of him and narrowly missing Shard.
Shard: Oh God, no.
Shard turns a quick 180.
He raises his rifle, only to have his view obstructed by Jamos darting out like a badass and tearing the Sectoid a new assh%le.
Jamos: I'm not letting any more of you get shot today.
Shard: Kill stealer.
Meanwhile, Terr kicks in the door of the first house.
Civilian: Oi crikey! What you doing in my house, mate!?
Terrorist: Well you seem to have a rather terrible alien infestation, sir. In fact I can see one now.
Terr let's a volley of cannon rounds sail through the window, shattering it's glass, blowing up a light pole, and killing the Sectoid.
Civilian: Who am I suppose be expectin' to pay for that then, you f@#king yank.
Terrorist: Take it up with X-COM, meanwhile I'm gunna have to commandeer your chair here for cover.
Terrorist: You got any drugs?
(The last part of the mission I wasn't able to catch a screenshot of because it happened so fast, two aliens appeared from the second house and were both killed by Shard and Jamos' reaction fire.)
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Dragon and Jvr are recovering nicely, thanks to Jamos' fantastic reactions under fire. You would think this would mean a promotion.
You would be wrong. Keeping in X-COM's fine tradition of promoting those who do nothing during a battle, Duelpro is made sergeant for his murdering of a fence.
Now we just have to hope no one from CentCom dies in the Jungle.
*END RECORDING*Last edited by Garr123; 10-12-2007, 02:26 PM."At first it just looked like a picture of a bunch of lily pads, but then I started scraping at it with my pocket knife and the whole painting just sort of spoke to me," Schmidt said. "For the first time, I finally understand what Monet was trying to get across in her work."Comment
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Re: X-COM: NOOB CANNON. (I UPDATED HURRR DURRRF)
Dangit Jamos!
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Re: X-COM: NOOB CANNON. (I UPDATED HURRR DURRRF)
Dear Mom,
Things are going well here. I shot an alien, and met the Chosen One. Maybe he will let me be his sidekick. He has the spikiest hair I've ever seen.
Love, Shard
PS: Send more brownies. The aliens really harshed Terrorist's mellow.So you're a fish out of water...
Keep swimming.
What else can you do?Comment
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Re: X-COM: NOOB CANNON. (I UPDATED HURRR DURRRF)
I'm not in it.
**** YOU.Comment
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Re: X-COM: NOOB CANNON. (I UPDATED HURRR DURRRF)
I can't help that I'm so badass and that you're cannon feed, Dragon-chan.Originally posted by Red Dragon View PostDangit Jamos!
PSN: KingJamos
Add me... I'll wait.Comment
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Re: X-COM: SPECIAL REPORT, NIXON'S CRIB, AND NEW FACES.
Awful accent, but taking down a UFO on my own has merit.Originally posted by Garr123 View PostComment
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Re: X-COM: SPECIAL REPORT, NIXON'S CRIB, AND NEW FACES.
I was going to promote Jamos but my feeble arms couldn't lift the medal.The Cyclops having only one eye, needed to seek shelter from the harsh sun. The shadow cast by the spheres gave him temporary respite.
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Re: X-COM: NOOB CANNON. (I UPDATED HURRR DURRRF)
DAMN IT! When is the Postulate-2 going to be ready for battle?
"Couch co-op is the only true co-op." Richard of the Cooks.
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Re: X-COM: NOOB CANNON. (I UPDATED HURRR DURRRF)
Send us ALL into battle =3Comment
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