Is this story any better?
Hello. I've enhanced my story from the original version, and I was just wondering if this is any better.
In the mystical continent of Sarvana, there originated four clans of powerful magical creatures. They were the Dragon Clan, the Lizard Clan, the Wolf Clan, and the Falcon Clan. Evolved over the years from ordinary animals, these powerful creatures walked upright and were capable of human speech. The creatures of these clans were sociable peacemakers who hated the destruction of land and fellow animals. Long before the first human was born, these four tribes thrived and flourished in peace with one another. Centuries passed, and the tribes continued to flourish, until the human population developed. Over time, the humans migrated into the land of the four clans. None of the clans were annoyed by their presence, as many were willing to share their land. However, war and arguments began to occur amongst the humans over territory and currency. The once fertile and beautiful land given to them by the four tribes became a barren wasteland because of combat and bloodshed. Many citizens of the clans were disgusted by the humans barbaric behavior, compared to their seemingly “perfect” society. Others were also put off by the idea of humans developing the need for weapons, as they lacked magical abilities. Some pitied them, and many detested them. Over time, however, the four clans held a secret meeting, and came to the conclusion that the early humans lacked rule and order. Reluctant to depart from Sarvana due to the humans’ nature, the four tribes introduced themselves. They offered to serve as rulers and lawgivers, in return for peacefulness in the human society. The early humans, who were currently attempting to elect a ruler, happily agreed. For centuries, the clans kept order in the human society, and protected them from invaders. However, a denizen of the Dragon Clan named Hotaka felt degraded by defending the seemingly helpless humans. He began to urge for power, and he betrayed his people. For several years, Hotaka worked to create an army of traitors from other clans to destroy the human population and control the land. His plan was thwarted, however, by the combined efforts of the four tribes. Hotaka was then banished to the underworld by the clans’ powerful magic. The war against Hotaka, however, caused many fatalities among the four clans. Today, the descendents of the Lizard Clan, Wolf Clan, and Falcon Clan, are far and scarce. Due to the marriages amongst members of the clans and normal humans, the remaining descendents now retain a human form, only to become an animal again when they sense danger.When the war was over, the mythical Dragon Clan mysteriously disappeared. Although the remains of the clans continue to guard and defend the land, their reduce in numbers have caused certain catastrophic in the human population. Without the knowledge and justice of the four clans, crime and murder have increased dramatically. Few towns and cities are now spread far out among wide stretches of land. But the decrease in the human population will soon be the least of the clans’ problems, for a new and greater evil is erupting in the midst.
Katsuro: The main character and a descendent of the lizard clan. When his sister is kidnapped for a mysterious reason, he sets off to return her home safely.
Over the course of the game, Katsuro will also meet members of the Wolf Clan and the Falcon Clan as team members.
Feel free to comment.
In the mystical continent of Sarvana, there originated four clans of powerful magical creatures. They were the Dragon Clan, the Lizard Clan, the Wolf Clan, and the Falcon Clan. Evolved over the years from ordinary animals, these powerful creatures walked upright and were capable of human speech. The creatures of these clans were sociable peacemakers who hated the destruction of land and fellow animals. Long before the first human was born, these four tribes thrived and flourished in peace with one another. Centuries passed, and the tribes continued to flourish, until the human population developed. Over time, the humans migrated into the land of the four clans. None of the clans were annoyed by their presence, as many were willing to share their land. However, war and arguments began to occur amongst the humans over territory and currency. The once fertile and beautiful land given to them by the four tribes became a barren wasteland because of combat and bloodshed. Many citizens of the clans were disgusted by the humans barbaric behavior, compared to their seemingly “perfect” society. Others were also put off by the idea of humans developing the need for weapons, as they lacked magical abilities. Some pitied them, and many detested them. Over time, however, the four clans held a secret meeting, and came to the conclusion that the early humans lacked rule and order. Reluctant to depart from Sarvana due to the humans’ nature, the four tribes introduced themselves. They offered to serve as rulers and lawgivers, in return for peacefulness in the human society. The early humans, who were currently attempting to elect a ruler, happily agreed. For centuries, the clans kept order in the human society, and protected them from invaders. However, a denizen of the Dragon Clan named Hotaka felt degraded by defending the seemingly helpless humans. He began to urge for power, and he betrayed his people. For several years, Hotaka worked to create an army of traitors from other clans to destroy the human population and control the land. His plan was thwarted, however, by the combined efforts of the four tribes. Hotaka was then banished to the underworld by the clans’ powerful magic. The war against Hotaka, however, caused many fatalities among the four clans. Today, the descendents of the Lizard Clan, Wolf Clan, and Falcon Clan, are far and scarce. Due to the marriages amongst members of the clans and normal humans, the remaining descendents now retain a human form, only to become an animal again when they sense danger.When the war was over, the mythical Dragon Clan mysteriously disappeared. Although the remains of the clans continue to guard and defend the land, their reduce in numbers have caused certain catastrophic in the human population. Without the knowledge and justice of the four clans, crime and murder have increased dramatically. Few towns and cities are now spread far out among wide stretches of land. But the decrease in the human population will soon be the least of the clans’ problems, for a new and greater evil is erupting in the midst.
Katsuro: The main character and a descendent of the lizard clan. When his sister is kidnapped for a mysterious reason, he sets off to return her home safely.
Over the course of the game, Katsuro will also meet members of the Wolf Clan and the Falcon Clan as team members.
Feel free to comment.
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