Is this story any good?
I'm currently attempting to write a good story for my first RPG Maker 3 game. This is what I have so far...
In the mystical continent of Sarvana, there thrived four clans of powerful magical creatures. They were the Dragon Clan, the Lizard Clan, the Wolf Clan, and the Falcon Clan. For centuries, these powerful tribes protected the non-magical citizens of Sarvana with their metamorphic abilities. However, a denizen of the Dragon Clan named Hotaka felt disgusted by defending the seemingly helpless humans. He began to urge for power, and he betrayed his people. For several years, Hotaka worked to create an army of magical creatures to destroy the human population and control the land. His plan was thwarted, however, by the combined efforts of the four clans. Hotaka was then banished to a remote plant at the four edge of the galaxy by the clans’ powerful magic. The war against Hotaka however, caused the massive slaughtering of the four clans. Today, the descendents of the Lizard Clan, Wolf Clan, and Falcon Clan, are far and scarce, while the mythical Dragon Clan disappeared entirely. Although the remains of the clans continue to guard and defend the land, their reduce in numbers have caused certain catastrophic in the human population. Without the knowledge and justice of the four clans, crime and murder have increased dramatically. Few towns and cities are now spread far out among wide stretches of land. But the decrease in the human population will soon be the least of the clans’ problems, for a new and greater evil is erupting in the midst.
I showed this to my brother, and he thinks it sucks. What do you think? Any replies or suggestions would be helpful.
In the mystical continent of Sarvana, there thrived four clans of powerful magical creatures. They were the Dragon Clan, the Lizard Clan, the Wolf Clan, and the Falcon Clan. For centuries, these powerful tribes protected the non-magical citizens of Sarvana with their metamorphic abilities. However, a denizen of the Dragon Clan named Hotaka felt disgusted by defending the seemingly helpless humans. He began to urge for power, and he betrayed his people. For several years, Hotaka worked to create an army of magical creatures to destroy the human population and control the land. His plan was thwarted, however, by the combined efforts of the four clans. Hotaka was then banished to a remote plant at the four edge of the galaxy by the clans’ powerful magic. The war against Hotaka however, caused the massive slaughtering of the four clans. Today, the descendents of the Lizard Clan, Wolf Clan, and Falcon Clan, are far and scarce, while the mythical Dragon Clan disappeared entirely. Although the remains of the clans continue to guard and defend the land, their reduce in numbers have caused certain catastrophic in the human population. Without the knowledge and justice of the four clans, crime and murder have increased dramatically. Few towns and cities are now spread far out among wide stretches of land. But the decrease in the human population will soon be the least of the clans’ problems, for a new and greater evil is erupting in the midst.
I showed this to my brother, and he thinks it sucks. What do you think? Any replies or suggestions would be helpful.
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