The Final Dawn(Good or bad)?

[Leon_Darkwind]

I've just started on working on The Final Dawn.It pretty much a straight forward RPG,but I hit a stump in my story and don't know where to go with....
The story is the same old continent vs. continent war that ends up with some demon taking over the world.I have only made a hour or so of gameplay
and untill now I didn't think of how cheesy my storyline was.so...
Any suggestions?

[Jamos' Old Account]

Re: The Final Dawn(Good or bad)?

I can't really give suggestion with such little information, sorry. What are you using to make it?

[Leon_Darkwind]

Re: The Final Dawn(Good or bad)?

Sorry!I'm using RPGM3.

[Commander Obi-Wan]

Re: The Final Dawn(Good or bad)?

Demons, huh? Sounds pretty generic. My suggestion is to include a subplot, in which maybe your family is murdered or something by the demons and "Now it's personal." So the demons send a message through a possesed child saying that at the dawn of the war, they will attack. None of the continents are backing down so it's up to you to save the world and take revenge on the demons for murdering your family. Ooh, here I go!

Prologue. It Begins...
An onslaught of demons are attacking, but the Earth's Forces are making progress in stoping them. They don't stand a chance. You fight alongside Earth as you slay the demons all the way back to where they came from. Suddenly, the big ones come. Luckily, Earth killed them before they could take a step. It's over. But the other continents aren't amused. Though this did no damage to your continent, it nearly destroyed theirs. After a big argument, the continents state war on eachother. At the meantime, the leader of the Underworld sends a message that at the Dawn of War, they will attack Earth. As if this wasn't bad enough, you come home to realise that your house has been burned down by demons. Now you swear revenge on the demons, and no matter what it takes, you must slay the leaders that killed your family!

Chapter 1. The Library
To find a way to get to the underworld, you have to read up on it. Your best chance is in the abandoned library. Since it was abandoned, it's a home to ghosts and un-human gangs. You must make your way through the library and find the correct book. Beware, danger lurks in the darkness, and there's lots here! Once you find "The Book of Sins," the demon holy book, you must escape the library. Now you're being hunted by the demons because you stole their bible.

Chapter 2. The Language of Evil
Only ones who speak the demon language can read the Book of Sins. You track down a now-rogue demon who might be able to translate the book. Once you find his base, it seems that he won't give you the translations for free. Since you don't have any currency, you must battle his hordes of henchmen to finaly break him and make him give you the translations.

Chapter 3. The Sith'ari
The Book of Sins states that there's a location on the Earth called the "Sith'Ari." It connects the two worlds together. Once you've gotten to the Sith'Ari, you must read the ancient words in the Book of Sins to open the Gateway Portal. Once you step into the portal, you and transported to the alternate realm...The Underworld!

Chapter 4. Hell's Door
The dawn of war is approaching! You don't have much time! Now that you're in the underworld, you have to blend in. You can't have a human in a demon's world, can you now? The Book of Sins has a potion that could temporarily transform you into your inner demon for an amount of time until it dries out. You have to find all the ingredients and mix them. Be careful though, demons in the underworld are much stronger than the ones in our world!

Chapter 5. Green Blood
Now in your new form, you have to make your way inside the Royal Palace and take revenge on the demons for slaying your family. Only less than an hour left before the dawn of war, you must sneak in quickly and slay the demons. The Book of Sins states that to be slain, the leaders must drink holy water. It will burn their sins and kill them alive, since demons ARE sin. The only fountain that produces holy water in the Underworld is a forbidden place in the dungeon of the Royal Palace, where prisinors are tortured and finaly killed by being dipped in the holy water. Once you enter the forbidden zone and get the holy water, your poition dries out and you turn back into your human form. How are you going to get them to drink the holy water now?

Chapter 6. The Morgumer
Lucky for you, you find a demon prisinor in the dungeon named Morgeumer who says he'll help you, as he can get both leaders to drink the water. So you hand him the water and he sneaks you in the Royal room of the Palace. You quickly hide behind a statue and watch as Morgeumer walks up to the leaders and gives them the water, saying that it's the Wine of a Thousand Souls. After they both take a sip, they start burning and the guards pour in. Morgemuer attempts to escape but gets overwhelmed by the enemies.

Chapter 7. One Way Out
Getting in the Underworld was the easy part, getting out is the hard part. It's even harder now that guards are everywhere inside the Royal Palace. Less than 20 minutes before the Dawn of War! You somehow make it out, being chased by thousands of demons. As you run, you say the ancient words in The Book of Sins and the portal opens. You take a dive in. Nobody chases you. You wonder why, but then you realise the Dawn of War is about to begin.

Epilogue. The Final Dawn
This is it. You're too late. The demons have come from their exiles and strike. The three-way war begins. As you stand at the Sith'Ari and watch the gruesome battle, you wonder which side you will fight on, and which will win.

THE END

That was all original and took about 30 minutes to write. Hope you give credit if you use!

[Jamos' Old Account]

Re: The Final Dawn(Good or bad)?

You shouldn't hand him a story on a silver plater, Obi Wan. He'll never learn that way.

[Commander Obi-Wan]

Re: The Final Dawn(Good or bad)?

You shouldn't hand him a story on a silver plater, Obi Wan. He'll never learn that way.

It was monday and I was bored.