Tips for better living

[goldgecko4]

Share dumb little things you've learned that make life easier (or lesson you learnd the hard way)


+You get what you pay for in clothes, cologne, haircuts, and booze.

+Keep a spare set of clothes in your trunk at all times. You never know when the urinal is going to splash your own product back at ya.

+When you start working, weekends and summers mean absolutely nothing.

+To get wrinkles out of a shirt without ironning it, get the garment moist (not wet), and throw it in the dryer. Shouldcome on looking like brand new!

+No dryer? Hang it on a hanger outside your shower while taking a shower. Tug on it when you're done, pretty much the same results.

+Ice cold milk is the most refreshing drink in the world

[Valkysas]

Re: Tips for better living

+no one is ever happy to see a remote controlled airplane armed with bottle rockets.

[Nixon]

Re: Tips for better living

+ Drinking enough water and getting regular exercise are extremely beneficial

+ There's nothing new under the sun

+ RIDE THE WALRUS

[ErikaFuzzbottom]

Re: Tips for better living

+If you're the only person you know that enjoys video games as much as you do and you find it hard to get anybody to check out your new game or to play multiplayer with you, then it sucks to be you.

...Wait, you say this is tips for better living? Well, in that case...

+Never use public restrooms. Ever. They're nasty. And they're public. I DEMAND PRIVACY!

+If your grandparents set out some butter that looks like it had previously sat out of the fridge for a good several hours or more, do not use it.

+If somebody mentions that they have an armed remote-controlled airplane, checking it out might be a good way to get some entertainment.

+Don't watch Last Comic Standing unless you like "riske", er, EDIT "risque" jokes (I only saw one episode, and I dare not watch another).

+If it's possible for you to snack a whole lot without getting overweight and you're always hungry if you don't snack, it's probably a good idea to have a job in order to afford all those snacks.

+If somebody cheats in a video game, even if the "cheating" is "legal", don't get mad, goof off. With luck, they'll get annoyed at how you're not even trying and proceed to boot themselves out of the game, which counts as a win for you! If not, well, it's still fun to goof off.

+Be sure to give Draygone lots of access to mines for flamethrowers when playing in a FPS. Especially if the mines are proximity and/or can stick to people, and especially flamethrowers that can catch people on fire. Sure you'll probably lose, but it's totally worth it to hear him do his mostly-real maniacle laugh.

+Create and finish an RPGM game, and you'll be happy in the end. However, do not use its success to feed your ego for three years straight.

+If you get into a topic where multiple posts suddenly reach many paragraphs long, go find something better to do. Exceptions being humorous posts.

+It is probably not a good idea to almost fall asleep at the wheel of your car when entering a construction zone. It is also not a good idea to fall asleep at the wheel of the arcade racing game at Showbiz Pizza/Chuck E. Cheese's.

+If you can't easily fit into the seat of a carnival ride, whether it be a ride with a button that makes noises or a roller coaster, then don't ride it.

+If you intend to make a trip to the casino located an hour away, make sure that your car is fully capable of making the trip. e.g., check your cooling fan.

+Do not take too long to make a post at a message board. If you do, it'll time out on you and will no longer tell you which posts you have yet to read.

+There are some definate pros to being the quiet guy in school. For example, nobody can make fun of you for something you say.

+Giving out random negative rep is bad for your soul.

+If you're going to make threats at your kid/little cousin/whatever, and those threats are within reason, make good on them, darn it.

There's some Vital Information for y'all. Everything I listed comes from personal experience. ...Except the arcade game deal.

[Owl of Parliament]

Re: Tips for better living

I bet someone is going to post the lyrics to the sun screen song.

+ If you have long hair always brush it in the direction it naturally wants to go.

+ Even if you drive, buy a bike and actually ride it.

[Jamos' Old Account]

Re: Tips for better living

Here is Jamos with vital information for your everyday lives.

+Never insult someone that can crush you just by sitting on you. Unless if you are a good distance away... then its funny to watch them run.

+While RIDING THE WALRUS watch out for whales.

+Remember not to eat the yellow sand

+It is much easier to have your little sister do your chores.

+Chocolate fountains are cool!

+When your sister watches Phantom of the Opera for the third time in a row, cover your head in a plastic bag. Continue to take deep breaths until face turns blue.

+Be Batman

That is all.

[Crimson Knight]

Re: Tips for better living

I have some tips for better lviing... IN MY PANTS!

-Water is the best diuretic in the world. Drink boatloads of this if you have problems taking a dump.

-If you know which objects in your home give a static shock, touch the area with your feet, you won't feel a thing.

-To stop thinking nasty thoughts, stop watching nasty stuff, works wonders.

-If someone in your proximity says that doing something is for [insert race/gender here], kick them in the nuts. If they're females, simply say they're worthless leeches, has the same or worse effect.

-Ask someone if they have some Tae-Bo videos. If they do, proceed to steal them.

-Repeat above tip for porn, music and games.

-Adult Friend Finder >> every porn site. Ever. Hook up with hot chicks, and choke your chicken in the meantime!

[Biggie]

Re: Tips for better living

- Want to lose wait!? Quiting pop and fast foods is the easiest way to do so. Eat homecooked meals and drink lots of water, and you will a lot more energized during the day.

- Download the freaking Chocolate Swim album! Its free for crying out loud! Plus it kicks ass.

- If one of your friends **** you off, cobra strike them. Don't ask me how, that you must learn on your own.

And if there is one thing that you should remember for the rest of the ages, remember this...

- Resident Evil 4 is best enjoyed on Gamecube.

[The Toecutter]

Re: Tips for better living

+When it comes to toilet paper, you really, REALLY get what you pay for.

+When some crazy appears to want your couch, he probably wants your brain. Split the guy's head open with a machete if you can.

+Dick Cheney sucks. Repeat that in your head.

+You are more, yet less wise in an altered state of consciousness. Use your ability to alter it with good judgement, in complete disregard for any law if needed.

+Owning a good firearm is like having a supermodel for a girlfriend(or a boyfriend for those attracted to such). You will want nothing else.

+When little kids come to your door on Halloween, trick > treat. Take as many cues from George Romero as you can.

+ZOMBIES KICK ASS! There is no substitute for stomping mudholes in some zombie ass.

+There is no substitute for biker chicks, for that matter.

+I'd also like to say that Lynard Skynard, Terry Reid, Bruce Springsteen, Steely Dan, and The Doobie Brothers rule.

[DYRE]

Re: Tips for better living

+Sell your soul to the Devil. It's great fun.

+Don't watch Superman 3

+Drink plenty of milk. It's very awesomely.

+And lastly,

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[Alex]

Re: Tips for better living

+ Don't bother reading "tips for better living" posts, because none of them are informative.

[Nixon]

Re: Tips for better living

+ The internet is not your enemy

[DK]

Re: Tips for better living

+Speaking of sunscreen, you might think the idea of spray-on sunscreen is great and all, I did. I figured "wow, no greasy white crap." Well, let me tell you, you can never sacrifice protection for convieniece.

The tops of my feet got burned, damnit!

[Pandable]

Re: Tips for better living

+ Do not tease morbidly obese people. They WILL chase you - and sometimes even charge into glass doors with their bellies just to break them. Just ask a friend of mine.

+Listen to hair metal. I don't care how stupid you think it is, or how pretentious your own damned musical tastes are, that you feel you can't enjoy it because of its fanbase. STFU and listen to it. Start with some Quiet Riot.

+While we're at it, listen to crunk.

+Find music with actual content, and listen to that too.

+Spend a sufficient amount of time naked every day.

+Eject yourself from the failed american political system, be you left or right.

+Learn to use Tor and Freenet.

+Read 2600.

+Avoid righthand-path religions, which are those that rely on guilt as a method of enforcement. Be a wolf among sheep.

+Know how to cut them
+Know how to read them
+Know how to stain them
+Know how to prove them
+Know how to evoke them
+Know how to score them
+Know how to send them
+Know how to spend them

+Arm yourself, physically and spiritually.

+Never tell secrets to more than one person. A secret is secret when it is known to two, but all know what is known to three.

+Be witty, make puns, and be the focus of laughter. Laughter increases trust.

+Take the initiative. Don't be cowardly.

+Be true friends to your friends. Give them gift for gift, laughter for laughter again, but never hesitate to repay betrayal with treachery twofold.

[Loki]

Re: Tips for better living

+Never trust a buracurcy to get anything done.

+Gramer counts.

+Most important: Draw, draw, draw! Everyday!