Boobies! (Cover page coloured)

[Sejon]

Forgive the intentionally misleading title.

This is a children's book I've been working on -- still in the rough sketch stage, but I plan to start the finished pieces this week. I figured I could post it before I get underway, in case people could catch things that need tweaking.

The premise of the story was my mum's idea -- being a marine biologist, she's worked with people who have studied the booby/frigate bird relationship in depth, so I had a helping hand whenever I needed it. Still, it's foremost a children's book, not a natural history illustration book, so I had a bit of fun in exaggerating their features and such.

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Alternate Cover (playing with different ideas):




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[Snarf]

Re: Boobies!

That is terribly adorable!!

I would definately buy that for my son

[Shard]

Re: Boobies!

Outstanding artwork and the story is very well-told. The vocabulary is very sophisticated for a children's book though. The average American high school senior would have been reading this with a dictionary at hand. Also, keep an eye out for colloquialisms and cliches, mostly the former.

This line in particular stood out: "It all happened so fast that the boobies barely knew what hit them."

[Jamos' Old Account]

Re: Boobies!

That is terribly adorable!!

Indeed, such adorable boobies.

[Nixon]

Re: Boobies!

Awesome pencils. You are a fantastic cartoonist. Also, you tackled some of my favorite subject matter: goofy looking birds.

A+++

[Vonwert]

Re: Boobies!

Very, very good!!!

[Sejon]

Re: Boobies!

Thanks for the comments, everyone!

Shard, I'll keep that in mind -- I just wrote naturally at first, aside from intentionally making the syntax simple, and will go back and find anything that needs to be changed. I noticed "pique" somewhere in the re-read and I'll definitely excise that, for example. Someone perked an eyebrow up at "queue", although I've known that word since I was a child (maybe because of my British upbringing). I'll see if I can dumb some other things down this evening.
Thanks also for the heads up on colloquialisms -- I changed that "they didn't know what hit them" sentence already.

[Red Dragon]

Re: Boobies!

Actually when i clicked into the title the first thing that came to mind was the actual bird...

the lettering is small though, not very good for a childrens book...

[Sejon]

Re: Boobies!

the lettering appears small only because I shrank these images before posting them. The printed version will be larger than this.

[Alex]

Re: Boobies!

I love children's books. They always have the best illustration and stories. To the point, and no unnecessary filler.

Though you do have more words than most children's books, it shouldn't be a problem. At least, I don't think so. Make the kids work for their stories.

[Gustaff 13]

Re: Boobies!

The only thing I enjoy more than that book is the double entendre you used to get us to look.

[Fushigi na Renamon]

Re: Boobies!

I love your boobies, Sejon. They are so cute. <3

The story is fabulous. I agree that you are a great pencil artist and cartoonist. I especially loved the two page illustrations!

[josh]

Re: Boobies!

I read that while listening to the Boy Least Likely To, and I think that's the only way it should be read. very, very nice.

[Kefka Jr.]

Re: Boobies!

Also, you tackled some of my favorite subject matter: goofy looking birds.

AMEN TO THAT!

BOOBIES ARE WINNERS!

[Sejon]

Re: Boobies!