I had the nastiest farts today.

[The_Real_Crunk]

I had bad gas for some reason today, and my farts were rancid. Usually I can tolerate my own farts, but these were gag inducing, rotten farts.

I have my window open so my room can air out while I go to work.

Share your smelly experiances!

[Red Dragon]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

My friend farted so bad a vortex opened up right begind him... Not kidding.

[The Toecutter]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

White Castle + Taco Bell + Fried Eggs(sunny side up) + Lots of Beer = BEST FARTS

[Armored]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

I had gas so bad, coming from both ends it made me vomit several times. I wished I was dead.

[The Toecutter]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

The smell is supposed to be a source of pride, not disgust. Flaunt it while you got it.

[jvrlopez]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

In elementary school, a kid farted while doing situps.

Everyone laughed.

[steve-dave]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

My dad farted in best buy and i walked through it, i said **** out loud it was so bad.

[The Toecutter]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

In grocery stores, when my grandmother had to fart, she'd hobble along and pass people releasing SBDs as she hobbled herself along. Everyone would turn towards me and my dad, well behind her, and stare, thinking it was one of us. Then she'd laugh her ass off when we got to the car. Ever smelled a dead body? Well hers are almost that bad.


***edit


And before I typed this post, I laid like 4-5 pounds of bear bait. Took a plunger three attempts to get it all down. Top that.

[archerarmored]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

you guys made my stoner night.

much <3 -griffin

[Roland Of Gilead]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

I always thought it would be funny to go through a public place and intentionally try to fart on people. tamoki once got farted on by an old man.

[Rodak]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

Benjamin Franklin wrote a book called Fart Proudly!

A friend of mine is taking an old acoustic guitar, whacking off the neck, attaching handles, and making a Farting Board!

Using this device one can amplify and make music with Farts.

It is called The Farting Board.

But my absolute favorite Farting story is from decades ago when I got my first apartment.

It had high ceilings, plaster walls, and a hard wood floor.

When my friend and I moved in on our first night we sat in the big, empty, living room on the floor just talking and drinking.

It evolved into a farting contest.

In that room they echoed fantastically!

We kept this up for far too long.

I know it was far too long because two days later we got a letter from a lawyer regarding the rude and disgusting noises eminating from our apartment!!!

I am proud of that to this day.

Peace.

[The Toecutter]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

That's pretty damn awesome. Do you still have a copy of that letter? I'd like to see it posted for the novelty value.


I was once in a mall when I was 13 with my friend Matt and I had to take a big dump. So I get into the bathroom, drop trou, and I never farted so damn much in my life. It was gross! There were people making complaints a few feet away, and some dumbass on a cellphone was in the next stall apologizing about the noise, I think to his girlfriend. When I was done, I flushed and discovered I had plugged up the toilet. Mind you, this was one of those vacuum toilets that could easily swallow a small child, not that low flow crap we have in our homes. This thing had some suction to it! It started to overflow. I had accomplished the unthinkable. I promptly got out of the stall, washed my hands, and everyone in there was staring at me. The bathroom had an aroma not far from that of a rotting possum on the side of a state highway, courtesey of moi. I think I scarred some 15 or 20 people for life that day, many of them small children and old people, and take much pride in it.

[Riotsword]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

Okay, a couple of my instances:

Me, my girlfriend at the time, and her brother were in the computer room talking about something or other, and I excused myself to go to the bathroom, number one. As I was doing my business, I laid out a huge and remarkably long one, which both my GF and her bro heard, and this was through the bathroom door, a fair length of hallway, and the computer room door. I immediately heard both of them burst into gales of laughter.

And on the same night I think, I was sitting Indian-style on the floor in that same computer room, and suddenly and without warning I blasted another one. The floor actually vibrated.

[Chrome Homura]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

Mine are silent but deadly.

[The_Real_Crunk]

Re: I had the nastiest farts today.

I too have clogged a few public/school toilets, and as soon at the water starts rising, I get the **** out of there.