A song!

[Libby]

I have a friend I met at the college where I was working at, and he actually is helping me do a gift for my boyfriend ( Shhhhh) We were working over one of my own songs, and we came up with this.

The song is called "Little Tin Ballerina" and it's written and sung by me, and he is playing the piano in the background.

Now, for a DISCLAIMER. I would like to hear some critisim, but not on the singing/or the playing. I am posting this mostly because I am very unhappy with the second verse of the song. Also, this was done completely improvising, so there are horrid mistakes in it (mostly made by me..he messed up once..) and I know they are. The song is a very Tori Amos/Jewel sounding ballad, and it's rather angsty a the moment, so please be patient and just critize the words. (but if you want to tell me how beautiful my singing is, or how wonderful his playing is, that's okay. Anyways, here it is for a short time. I'll renew the link if people want to listen to it longer.)
Edit- I am also NOT a professional singer, nor do I do it on a regular basis beyond singing to my car. Just wanted to add that.
http://s61.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0...605QQQOVLYJCY3

And the lyrics are as follows.

Little Tin Ballerina

Gather the light
And step onto the dance floor
Bodies moving as they had before
I'm playing all the same songs around her
Her eyes are on the exit door
What are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?

Turn the key
And name the tune
Little tin ballerina dances
But when the curtain's down
And the lights are gone
She cries
Tear-stained blue eyes
(alternate lyrics to this will be "Tear-stained glass eyes")

So now your building your walls
So the bruises won't show
And the infinate beat
Controling your feat
Drowns out the clockwork
Beating of your heart
Can you hear it?
Can you hear it?
It's so loud.

Turn the key
And name the tune
Little tin ballarina dances
But when the curtain's up
And the lights are gone
She cries
Cries.

What are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?

For more of Adam's music- go here - http://www.myspace.com/pianokeys
I think you have to have a myspace account to listen to them, but they are all very good.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: A song!

First, your sig is reminiscent of one of mine a while back, in which I had "If a witty comment were placed here, would anyone read it?"

Next, why does the song come up as "Queensryche - I'm American" in Winamp?

Third, I'm less reminded of Jewel and Tori Amos than I am of Evanescence's slower songs, like My Immortal and Hello. This is probably because it's piano solo rather than guitar solo, and the voice is more closely related to Amy Lee's voice. I digress.

I enjoy the song, despite all the popping noises that keep interrupting. Female singers with solo piano are what I thrive on. Now, as for the lyrics, I can't help you. Sorry, I'm no good at lyrical criticism.

[highwind]

Re: A song!

There's some HORRIBLE static throughout it that you really have to get rid of.

But I think your voice sounds very lovely.

[Libby]

Re: A song!

Yes, I forgot to warn people about that. It was burned onto a very bad CD, but it's the only one I had, so, hense the popping. I appologize. The issue with the lyrics has been fixed, and the second verse will go as follows:

Now the mask changes smiles
As the key changes hands
And the infinate beat,
Controling your feet
Drowns out the clockwork
Beating of your heart
Can you hear it
I can hear it.
It's so lost.

Thanks for the compliments on my voice. Makes me feel uberloved. ^.^

Edit- Oh! The name boggles my mind too. I don't know why it reads that way, it's just how the file was given to me. I'm working on getting a better version of it, but the gentleman who is going to record me was having some technical issues with his stuff. But I'll check how I can change that information.

[Riotsword]

Re: A song!

*applause*

Pretty. Much better than I can sing, I can tell you that.