Stand-up

[Caciss]

My friend and I decided to give stand-up a shot. So, I started brain storming some rough material. I think what I got is pretty funny, your thoughts?

So, yeah, I'm gonna be completely honest with you cats, the only reason I'm here is because I heard telling a bunch of half-assed jokes about hangy lipped vaginas and **** stains for 8 to 10 minutes, is a sure firer way to get laid.

I mean, it's a lot easier than everything else I've tried... flowers, gift certificates to Micky D's... an all you can eat night at Chucky Cheese -- getting a job.

And it's so hard figuring out what girls like. I mean look at Yahoo Personals, most the time they'll describe themselves as "liking a good time." Well ****, who the **** enjoys having a bad time? (Girl Impression) I like being socked in the labia and being felt up by Polish guys. Not like I use Yahoo Personals... I've got stand-up.

[Alzar]

Re: Stand-up

its not very funny but we still love you caciss

(it's kinda "huh huh huh i'm being vulgar huh huh" feeling)

but a lot of comedy has to do with delivery too

[RPGD]

Re: Stand-up

Hmm... on paper (or in Unicode, in this case), it seems a bit dry, but chuckle-y. But if you've got the delivery down pat, it could yeild some significant laughter.

There's just something missing in there. Toss in something random, yet amusing and applicable to the subject at hand. And perhaps a very slight bit less ladypie, since too much of it consecutively may lower it's effectiveness.

[hitogoroshi]

Re: Stand-up

Shouldn't this be in the playground?
It's pretty good, although you could use the same jokes with less vulgarity (although if this is catering to high school guys, this is right on the money.)
I work on standup myself, although it's more of the PG family style. It's not really that funny, although my acting experince will (I hope) aid in the delivery. Now all I need is a stage

[highwind]

Re: Stand-up

So, yeah, I'm gonna be completely honest with you cats, the only reason I'm here is because I heard telling a bunch of half-assed jokes about hangy lipped vaginas and **** stains for 8 to 10 minutes, is a sure firer way to get laid.

I mean, it's a lot easier than everything else I've tried... flowers, gift certificates to Micky D's... an all you can eat night at Chucky Cheese -- getting a job.

And it's so hard figuring out what girls like. I mean look at Yahoo Personals, most the time they'll describe themselves as "liking a good time." Well ****, who the **** enjoys having a bad time? (Girl Impression) I like being socked in the labia and being felt up by Polish guys. Not like I use Yahoo Personals... I've got stand-up.

You stole hangy-lipped vagina from me!

The second paragraph has a nice set up as long as its delivered properly. The problem I have with the third paragraph is that the girl impression might be too outlandishly vulgar and disturbing to be funny. Especially for women.

[Owl of Parliament]

Re: Stand-up

Sorry man but that was un-funny frat humour. The vagina refrences, calling the audience cats(just personal preference but I'll throw it out there), The sexual frustration. Okay, the sexual frustration could be funny if you work on it, but I only think that cause I saw other people do that and thought it was funny, a lot of other people. You got to be smarter than that, it seems like anyone from anywhere could have come up with all that in ten minutes. I know you could do better and if I didn't think so I probably would have just replyed with "LAME" and then never looked at this topic again. Well, I hope you're not offended.

[Caciss]

Re: Stand-up

It's all rough. Some general ideas and what-not. It's gotta be worked on. And I think a lot of it is in the delivery, at least considering how I talk.

Thanks for the input guys.

I'm still working on it...

Edit: Highwind, that bit was completely taken out of that topic.

Second Edit: Now looking at it, it was a lot funnier at 4 in the morning while on a caffine high.

[theobviousmobile]

Re: Stand-up

I do stand-up comedy, and I've learned some interesting things that I suppose I could impart to you.

1) A big secret is WORD USE. Finding that crazy word that nobody uses but everybody knows can be difficult, but worth the effort. This is good to use instead of swear words.

2) Swear words should only be used to emphasize the actual jokes, but should rarely, if ever, become the jokes themselves.

3) Know your audience. Don't use intellectual humor anywhere in the southern-midwest area... It don't go over too good... Unless you're in a room full of frat guys, keep the frat guy jokes to a minimum.

4) ALWAYS keep a fresh batch of comebacks on hand for any type of heckler. Nothing stinks more than having a heckler think faster than you do!

5) Don't... DON'T make fun of fat people. It's okay to make fun of ugly people, though. Ugly people sometimes don't know that they're ugly. But fat people ALWAYS know they're fat, and if you get them in a group, they are quick to anger!

6) Watch the other comics at the club you plan on performing at. Then find an angle that none of them have. Keep it fresh.

7) Blue collar comedy is ONLY FUNNY coming from a real-live-genuine-honest-to-goodness redneck.

8) Don't fall down.

Good luck!!

[Caciss]

Re: Stand-up

Thanks for the advice.

[Biggie]

Re: Stand-up

Another thing about stand up is that its hard to get when your reading it...

Maybe do a voice clip or something.

[IRC]

Re: Stand-up

I think stand-up is more about the way you say the joke than what the joke actually is.

I don't think the material is all that funny. And all the little things you've thrown in there makes it sound forced. Cat's, I mean, So yeah, Yahoo Personals.

[hitogoroshi]

Re: Stand-up

The problem I have with the third paragraph is that the girl impression might be too outlandishly vulgar and disturbing to be funny. Especially for women.

Agreed. The fact is, your "Who the **** enjoys having a bad time?" bit has potential humor, but crosses the line into just plain vulgar. If you insist on keeping it within the tone of "frat boy humor" mabye change it to:
"I enjoy dates were I wake up tied to a strangers bed" or something of that matter.

[Caciss]

Re: Stand-up

I must have a different opinion of vulgar, guys.

I'm working on it. It's hard.

[highwind]

Re: Stand-up

Comedy is the hardest thing any can try to write.

Conan told me, himself, that even after all these years of doing the show, they still have no idea what they're doing, what's going to work, wha'ts not going to what and what's funny or isn't.

And if you don't listen to Conan, you might as well not listen to anyone.

[RPGD]

Re: Stand-up

The disciple said it best.