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    #1

    Good Bad Jokes

    They gotta make you cringe, then chuckle, then cringe...

    What's better than winning silver in the Special Olympics?
    Not being retarded

    Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
    Fo Drizzle

    So a seal walks into a club...

    A man went to the zoo. All they had to exhibit was a dog.
    It was a shih tzu.

    What's a frog's favorite drink?
    Croaka Cola.

    What do you call a cow that just gave birth to a calf?
    "Decaffeinated"

    Psychiatrist to chicken: "Why do YOU think you cross the road?"

    What's brown and sticky?
    A stick

    Who would steal a bar of soap?
    A dirty crook

    A guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can see your nuts."
    "Now I feel my drive to move forward failing me. I will choose someone to kill me soon...
    But that is another story."

    -God
    Tags: None
    #2
    Re: Good Bad Jokes

    stop me if you've heard this one.

    there is this guy, who get's all his jokes from the internet
    Last edited by Biggie; 05-03-2011, 04:39 PM.

    Comment

      #3
      Re: Good Bad Jokes

      Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when through a gap in the door he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere. Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move and lets his overalls fall down to his hips revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Grabbing both sides of his shirt he rips it apart to reveal his stained tee shirt underneath. With a final flourish he tears the tee shirt from his body and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay. Having seen enough Cletus rushes in and says "what the heck are you doing Billy Bob."

      "Jeez, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob, "but me and the Ole lady been having trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."

      MOO!




      Comment

        #4
        Re: Good Bad Jokes

        Originally posted by Biggie View Post
        stop me if you've heard this one.

        there is this guy, who get's all his jokes from the internet
        Perfect. (cringe, chuckle, cringe)
        "Now I feel my drive to move forward failing me. I will choose someone to kill me soon...
        But that is another story."

        -God

        Comment

          #5
          Re: Good Bad Jokes

          Originally posted by Rodak View Post
          the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
          That's actually a pretty decent joke, hardly any cringe factor.
          "Now I feel my drive to move forward failing me. I will choose someone to kill me soon...
          But that is another story."

          -God

          Comment

            #6
            Re: Good Bad Jokes

            Originally posted by godkiller View Post
            That's actually a pretty decent joke, hardly any cringe factor.
            You haven't seen the tractor!


            ...


            Anyway, most of my jokes are not allowed in this forum! Too ... Naughty.

            MOO!




            Comment

              #7
              Re: Good Bad Jokes

              Originally posted by godkiller View Post
              What's brown and sticky?
              A stick
              I chuckled.
              "What if like...there was an exact copy of you somewhere, except they're the opposite gender, like you guys could literally have a freaky friday moment and nothing would change. Imagine the best friendship that could be found there."

              Comment

                #8
                Re: Good Bad Jokes

                Two guys walk into a bar.

                You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
                "Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity."

                Comment

                  #9
                  Re: Good Bad Jokes

                  What's green and has wheels?
                  Grass. I lied about the wheels.
                  What's the point of having an emergency response system if you can't provoke the wrath of God?

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Re: Good Bad Jokes

                    Originally posted by IamPinhead View Post
                    What's green and has wheels?
                    Grass. I lied about the wheels.
                    I don't know why it kills me, but it does. So bad it's insulting. I love it.
                    "Now I feel my drive to move forward failing me. I will choose someone to kill me soon...
                    But that is another story."

                    -God

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Re: Good Bad Jokes

                      This is a 100% true joke that I wrote when I was like 3 or 4:

                      What happened to the donut hole?

                      The dog ate it.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Re: Good Bad Jokes

                        Two men and a woman are stranded on a deserted island.

                        After a week the woman is so ashamed of what they are doing, she kills herself.

                        After another week the men are so ashamed of what they are doing, they bury her.

                        After yet another week, they are so ashamed of what they are doing, they dig her back up.

                        MOO!




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