I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

[Kire]

Sooooooooooooooo...tabletop gaming is one of those things I've tried again and again, like a mario or zelda game that's fawned over that I don't enjoy all that much, and I keep trying to like it. I've went through 2 sessions of a new game and I've been invited to a 3rd 6 HOUR SESSION on Sunday.

I try to get into it, but everyone's just waiting for their clever thing to say or entertain, and honestly I'm not that quick on my feet to inturrupt others' speech. I'm a much better thinker in the written word, or if I have a moment to collect my thoughts, I can say something profound or humorous. That instant doesn't exist though, when people are riffing off each other, trying to act clever, when in actuality, you've heard it all before. On top of all this, it's just such a time sink...

Anyway, you're wondering why is this such a problem? My BF enjoys it, and its as part of his group of friends, and it's a way we can spend time together. I know he really enjoys it, and on top of that he runs a LARPing chapter (before you assume too much, he's a very successful stockbroker as well, the LARP is just a side biz and what he loves to do, running plot and participating).

He says he'd be totally fine w/ me not taking part, but I know he'd be devestated if I don't take part. What should I do? Give it a little more time? Will it get any better, do I just have to change my frame of mind, or should I just stop and tell him I'm not enjoying myself all that much?

[Wavelength]

Re: I don't like tabletop gaming (and this is bad)

Well, first of all, do you mean tabletop gaming (such as warhammer) or pen & paper RPG gaming (like D&D) or something else entirely that I've probably never heard of?

I'm assuming you're talking pen & paper gaming (as true tabletop gaming is more strategy than acting, at least that I've seen). Let me tell you I'm in the same boat! I'm about to try it for the first time (Ars Magica is the game) and it looks like something I'd love but I'm the same as you and I'm worried about coming up with the right things on the spot. I'm the same way about everything, really--when I try to speak Japanese for example, I try to collect all my thoughts before I even say the first word.

You know, the advice I'd give you is to just have fun with it, and try to get into your character. Don't worry if you say something totally bizarre or stupid, since you're with friends; the effort is going to be appreciated and the more you at least try to do things without a moment's notice, the more natural it will become to you. Don't worry so much about doing it "the right way" at first, just try to contribute any way you know how and don't be nervous; that might be the best way to pick it up.

[Kire]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

Yeah, pen & paper RPGing, I changed the topic heading, and thanks for the input.

[Magus]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

The few times I tried D&D and pen and paper stuff I wanted to ****ing jump in a pit of acid than deal with those... those... those nerds. Our experiences sound similar - a bunch of neckbeards snickering at their "clever" jokes ("LOL THAT IS SO FULL FAIL" "FAIL, MAN" "FAIL FAIL FAIL") over and over while you sit there trying to enjoy stale Cheetos while catching glimpses of your wristwatch over and over, as if doing so will somehow speed up time itself. So you can get the hell out of there.

Besides cards and a few board games maybe (chess, Scrabble and other TOP TIER games), unless it has a screen attached to it I don't give a ****.

So, do what you want, man. Or rather, don't do what you don't want.

I thought the great thing about a meaningful relationship was that it was okay to not share the same hobbies and do the same **** constantly together? Y'know, because of, like, understanding. And love. And stuff.

[John Mora]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

You should try Munchkin. Such a fantastic game.

[tjoris9]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

It's not unusual to be a little shy the first few times, especially if you're in a big group (5-6 players) that you're not familiar with. It can be especially difficult if you're the only newbie.

The best advice is to remember that it isn't about acting ability. Try not to be intimidated by everyone else's acting. You'll probably find out that a lot of it is inside jokes they end up repeating over and over again. A good gaming group won't hold it against you if you say or do something stupid.

In time you'll learn how to work with the group's flow, and it'll become easier and more fun to join in on the role playing.

Perhaps you can start by trying to say something every time your character's initiative turn comes up in combat. It doesn't have to be particularly clever or original, but it might help you open up and learn how to be a little more spontaneous.

[Shadow Rider]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

If you feel he'd be devestated, you don't want it cause problems. However, in the long term you both need to be happy. I think you should be honest, express your reservations but then offer to come for a set a number of times (say for one full month) and discuss afterwards. I think if he cares about you, he'll understand that you're giving a it a shot, but he also needs to understand that if you don't want to do something it's okay too.

To think about this from a year from now situation, you get into a fight and then you decide to bring up how much you hate going to play P&P games with him. If this is the first time he's heard about it, it's going to be a big shocker for him and would be pretty unfair.

[Wavelength]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

You should try Munchkin. Such a fantastic game.

Heh. Munchkin is awesome but the whole point of it is to be the opposite experience of pen & paper games!

...You know what? You should try both! They're good counterweights for each other.

[Cutter De Blanc]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

Every time people I know get together to play d&d they end up bickering for an hour about little rules. It's lame.

[goldgecko4]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

Kire- My boyfriend enjoys pen and paper RPGs (Scion, Changeling, and Vampire Something) as well, and I cannot for the life of me sit still and play for hours on end like he does. I gave it a shot, he respected me for trying it, and now when he goes off to play I get to enjoy a night of 'me' time. Of course, when this happens four days a week or until 6:30am I tend to get a bit upset on principal, but it's cool that we have our separate hobbies.

I guess what I'm saying is: let him know you kinda hate it, but it's not his fault and you don't judge him for liking RPGs.

[Alex]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

Six hours.

Yeah. Just give that guy some nerd time. He'll get over it.

[Goyle]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

Honestly, I spend like...18 hours a week on pen/paper games with three separate groups. While most of the people in these groups were friends beforehand (and thus cut down on some of that adjusting) I found that it does take some time to sort of meld in.

On the other hand, you might just not enjoy the gaming that much, and it's just not something that's for everyone. People having individual tastes, impossible, etc, etc.

[Alzar]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

that sounds boring

[Riotsword]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

Personally, I can't stand groups who take their RP too seriously, because it's kind of repulsive.

But then again whenever I've played it's been semi-casual. We'd RP but usually the only people making the weird voices is the guy in charge portraying different NPCs.

I find people are a little less insufferable if you're playing a modern- or sci-fi-themed game. I'm trying to get together a Fallout-themed GURPS campaign, mostly because I love the Fallout setting, but also because there'd be a whole hell of a lot less nerdspeak in a ruined version of the future.

[Big Rick Cook]

Re: I don't like pen & paper RPGing (and this is bad)

If you don't like it, then you don't like it. If you wanna give it more of a fair shake, then yeah, give it another couple of sessions to see if something clicks or you fall into the patterns of everyone else and suddenly realize that you do enjoy it.

If not, then oh well. It's not the end of the world so long as you don't try to make him quit, or he doesn't try to force you to play. I think you're probably over-reacting when you say you know he'd be devastated if you didn't want to play.