Hello

[I'm a Mac]

I'm a Mac

[and I'm a PC]

And I'm a PC!

[Supervillain Ted]

And you both are unreliable and overpriced.

Like my mother.

BOB!!!

[Skeletor]

I'm a Virgo.

[Denethor Morgoth]

you can't play games on a mac you just CAN'T.

well you can but you cant play any good games.


well actually there's like one or two good games on a mac and I've played them but they're the only ones! PC is waaaaaay better, man.

[Valkysas]

but you made your website with a mac!

[Imperial Guard]

Is a Mac some sort of steel weapon? I think they sell those in the market district.

[I'm a Mac]

But I'm sexier


Hellah sexier

[and I'm a PC]

http://www.funnypictures.net.au/images/pc-vs-mac-upgrade-cartoon-hi-im-a-pc-and-im-a-mac-.jpg

Enough said.

[Denethor Morgoth]

but you made your website with a mac!

>_> .... YOU CANT PROVE ANYTHING


*runs away*

[Lemon Poppyseed Muffin]

Hello, Mac. I'm a lemon poppyseed muffin. I know we just met, but if you are able to access the world wide web, would you kindly use a search engine such as Yahoo, Google or Ask.com to find some information for me? I've been stuck in a cabinet above a refrigerator for some time now, and cannot access the web on my own. And even if I could, she'd probably find sticky residue on the keyboard, would probably think I had been snooping in her personal information on her own computer, and then I'd never have another chance with her.


Here's the information I require:

1) How could I get her to notice me again?
2) Once she does so, how do I bring back that spark in the relationship that we had at the beginning?
3) How long could I be expected to last past my expiration date?

[I'm a Mac]

1) How could I get her to notice me again?

Become a Twinkie


2) Once she does so, how do I bring back that spark in the relationship that we had at the beginning?

Become a Twinkie. Girls LOVE stuff with cream filling!


3) How long could I be expected to last past my expiration date?

Twinkies NEVER expire!

[and I'm a PC]

1) How could I get her to notice me again?
2) Once she does so, how do I bring back that spark in the relationship that we had at the beginning?
3) How long could I be expected to last past my expiration date?

Naturally the best way to attract a girl is to show them your new Windows 7 Premium package.

If you need to bring back that special spark then go down to your local computer shop and purchase a new Windows System installed PC.

Without a doubt I'm sure that Windows will never expire. We will continue to make quality home operating systems for your PC. YOU will expire before we do!

[Lemon Poppyseed Muffin]

If I ever manage to make my way out of this dark cabinet, and somehow reconnect the old flame of passion with my beloved, I will surely advise her to never pick up an Apple computer product. I ask you for a simple request, and you can find nothing better to do with your time than to mock me. I have no way of transforming myself into a Twinkie. I'm fairly certain that becoming one, even if I was able, would not help my situation, as I did overhear her once talking on the phone about wanting to cut back on the sugar in her diet. And I think I know her well enough to understand that cream filling is just not that important to her.


In fact, that's what attracted me to her in the first place. She was unlike any of the others whose cabinet space I've filled in the past. For most, the cream filling is an explosive climax on the tongue. But she was content with the subtle sweetness that I offered her. I'm not as flashy or showy or even as exciting, but I offered her familiarity and contentment. How many other pastries could make that claim?


So, and I'm a PC, can you use your superior computing powers to help me with the same questions and refrain from belittling my predicament?


EDIT: And also refrain from stupid advertising messages? I'm sophisticated enough to be able to not be influenced by blatant messages like the one you just made, so please do not insult my intelligence. I'm a lemon poppyseed bagel, not a bagel. In fact, if I ever get out of this cabinet, I'm going to tell her to remove Windows completely and install Linux.


Unless you can give me some real help.

[I'm a Gameboy]

Hello. I'm a Gameboy.

I have Tetris!

[Supervillain Ted]

Ah, the Gameboy!

It's like what the Wii would be if it was a real gaming machine!

(Obb. This word is an anagram. Figure it out... and destroy it!)

[and I'm a PC]

If I ever manage to make my way out of this dark cabinet, and somehow reconnect the old flame of passion with my beloved, I will surely advise her to never pick up an Apple computer product. I ask you for a simple request, and you can find nothing better to do with your time than to mock me. I have no way of transforming myself into a Twinkie. I'm fairly certain that becoming one, even if I was able, would not help my situation, as I did overhear her once talking on the phone about wanting to cut back on the sugar in her diet. And I think I know her well enough to understand that cream filling is just not that important to her.


In fact, that's what attracted me to her in the first place. She was unlike any of the others whose cabinet space I've filled in the past. For most, the cream filling is an explosive climax on the tongue. But she was content with the subtle sweetness that I offered her. I'm not as flashy or showy or even as exciting, but I offered her familiarity and contentment. How many other pastries could make that claim?


So, and I'm a PC, can you use your superior computing powers to help me with the same questions and refrain from belittling my predicament?


EDIT: And also refrain from stupid advertising messages? I'm sophisticated enough to be able to not be influenced by blatant messages like the one you just made, so please do not insult my intelligence. I'm a lemon poppyseed bagel, not a bagel. In fact, if I ever get out of this cabinet, I'm going to tell her to remove Windows completely and install Linux.


Unless you can give me some real help.

Yes, Windows can help you out in any situation. You just...








...Yes, Windows can help you out in any situation. Oh, did I say that all ready? I had a bit of trouble and had to restart. Where where we again?

[Grammar Nazi]

Yes, Windows can help you out in any situation. You just...








...Yes, Windows can help you out in any situation. Oh, did I say that all ready? I had a bit of trouble and had to restart. Where where we again?


We were in a place where "all ready" is spelled properly as "already," and "where were" was not the word "where" repeated twice. If you are indeed a PC, and that's the way your spellcheck works, then Mac is clearly the correct choice for those who wish to type with proper English.

[and I'm a PC]

We were in a place where "all ready" is spelled properly as "already," and "where were" was not the word "where" repeated twice. If you are indeed a PC, and that's the way your spellcheck works, then Mac is clearly the correct choice for those who wish to type with proper English.

Everything is spelled correctly. Please refer to page 304289 of your troubleshooting manual.

[I'm a Mac]

If I bought seven Windows packages, you wouldn't have to do inventory this year.

The one you bought accounts for all 8 sold.

[I'm a Gameboy]

You know. Gameboy doesn't have any viruses. It's been a reliable system for many, many years. In fact. I know that even children have used Gameboy to a great degree. It's a very durable system as well.

And did I mention that Gameboy has Tetris and other really great games?

What more could you want?

[and I'm a PC]

Well, we sold more Zune's then you!

[I'm a Mac]

That's.... because....we.. don't sell Zunes.



<awkward>



EDIT- oh, and Lemon Poppyseed Muffin, I discovered why your girl won't succumb to your advancements.

She's anorexic. Move on.

[******]

I'm a Mac

http://www.stampede-entertainment.com/monstermakers/a-bug-6-l.jpg

And I'm a PC!

http://www.stampede-entertainment.com/monstermakers/a-bug-6-l.jpg

http://www.stampede-entertainment.com/monstermakers/a-bug-6-l.jpg

http://www.stampede-entertainment.com/monstermakers/a-bug-6-l.jpg

http://www.stampede-entertainment.com/monstermakers/a-bug-6-l.jpg

http://www.stampede-entertainment.com/monstermakers/a-bug-6-l.jpg

[Grammar Nazi]

EDIT- oh, and Lemon Poppyseed Muffin, I discovered why your girl won't succumb to your advancements.

And I've discovered why you feel the need to promote yourself as being young and hip. It's because you are overcompensating for the supposed "advancements" you've made over the PC, when in reality, you know you are no better than the PC and its p**s-poor spellcheck when you use the word, "advancements" instead of the proper word for that context, which is "advances."

[Lemon Poppyseed Muffin]

I've never even tried to make advances toward her. I'm more comfortable with her making the first move. Like, there's no way I'd jump out of the cabinet into her hand in the morning. I let her take her time, turn on the lights so she can find my package, and then let her put me in her mouth at her leisure. I always refused to force myself on her.


But these bagels...it's a different story. She puts them in the toaster, and then soon after getting golden brown, they pop up, seemingly thrusting their presence upon her. And she always seems excited to see them, like it's exciting because it's a bit different each time, sometimes a bit lighter, sometimes a bit darker. Sometimes I think she even changes the toaster setting beforehand in order to sample the many different consistencies, let alone colors, the bagels may have. She never lets them sit until they cool. They're always hot, and the cream cheese she spreads always gets a bit melty. I get so jealous when she lightly flits her tongue across the creaminess, takes a small dollop of it with her tongue, swallows it, and then licks her lips afterwards with a smile on her face. It seems as if I was never able to satisfy her like that.


When she came back from the store today, she had a bag of asiago cheese bagels. It only took her a few weeks to go from the plain bagels to the more exotic cheese ones. Now I think I've got some real problems. She could sample the plain bagels all she wanted, but I knew she'd eventually come back to me, because plain bagels are really sort of white bread...they'll fill you up and satisfy you for a time, but they're still white bread.

The cheese bagels are more sophisticated. More grown-up. More adventurous. These are all of the same qualities I have. But because they are bagels, she'll feel full with them inside of her, maybe even stuffed. And of course she'll feel satisfied when it's all done. This is something I cannot give her. Even though I'm probably four ounces, when I'm inside of her, I never seem to fill her up. It always seems as if she needs something more, something a bit bigger than me.


Lord help me if she brings home sundried tomato cream cheese.

[Toaster]

Why hello there Perversion.

[Barrett's ****ing d20]

You rolled a 19.

Despite the ****-poor interface, lack of damn software, crummy durability, and astronomically @#%$ing high price, everyone decides to buy Apple products anyway. You have slayed the @#%$ing dragon!

AVALANCHE falls under the weight of a Sad Mac. @#%$.

@#%$.

[The Do-Do]

*smashes both computers with a giant mallet*

:hyper

[Zack Morris]

This reminds me of one of my favorite moments from Saved by the Bell. If you'll pay close attention I think you'll realize how it's relevant.


GJUveMFMJ-Y

AkUQcr0UFZg&feature=related

[.Auron]

This is the muffins story.

[Royal, level 1]

In my story, I've explored, killed things, and died a lot. I wish I was in Dragon Age Origins so I could have a fleshed-out origin story instead of being a generic Royal, level 1.

[Lemon Poppyseed Muffin]

This is the muffins story.

My story will not have a happy end. I think she left to get some groceries, and I'm fearful of what type of breakfast pastry might be her next conquest.


It just now dawned on me what a harlot she is.

[Imperial Guard]

I'm not sure what a PC is but it must be some form of Necromancy.

[Lulu]

So, you need someone with magic skills.

I hope you like it hot.

[I'm a Mac]

My story will not have a happy end.

Are you not moldy yet?