I don't want more bagels!

[Lemon Poppyseed Muffin]

Bagels. Why is it always bagels recently? I thought she and I had something special. I was her favorite. Sure, there were dalliances with cranberry orange muffins, and those godawful chocolate chip ones (she realized fairly quickly how disgraceful THOSE were!), but she always came back to me. Until now.


Now she's been on some bagel kick for the past three weeks or so. I am the last muffin from a package of six, and I've sat in this cabinet for almost a month. In that time, I've seen two packages of bagels come and go, but still here I sit. What did I do wrong? Why am I so unwanted?

[Skeletor]

I've always been a muffin eater.

[Supervillain Ted]

Bagels are the work of Bob! Destroy him, and glory be the Muffin's!

[Tintenfisch]

I guess she likes rich guys.

[Lemon Poppyseed Muffin]

I'm not quite sure I understand. Bagels are plain. Ordinary. Commoners among breakfast pastries. I have many more ingredients, and am more difficult to make properly. If you go to the grocery store, you can find a bag of six bagels for ninety nine cents. Six lemon poppyseed muffins usually go for around three to five dollars depending on the size. And I'll have you know, I'm not one of those mini muffin abominations. I'm a full-sized muffin, and probably weight close to 4 ounces. I say probably because her inaction is giving me a complex, and I've not weighed myself recently.