Name that encapsulated review! (or add your own!)

[Perversion]

Flower girl dies, spawns nation of emos.

Super soldier utilizes packing materials.

Gods squabble, bald guy p***ed.

Black man makes friends, works out, kills cops.

Ayn Rand smiles from her grave.

Loveable loser lauds lasciviousness.

Whiney brat pelted with snowballs.

Ugly racist stereotypes get pummelled.

Caffeinated furry collects rings.

Spines ripped, blood spattered, kids happy.

Chainsaw-happy murderer sinks hopes for kiddie console.

Flora breathe life into ongoing debate.

Disembodied voice ushers in overused meme.

Office drone skills taught, undead killed.

Translation budget nil, bases not covered.

Pushover Xmas decoration becomes disorderly.

Money-printer brings curse.

Annelids destroy stuff.


Okay...guess these and add your own. I'm done for now.

[Pile of Lizards]

The first one's FF7. I'm too lazy to keep reading.

[Valkysas]

Super soldier utilizes packing materials.
Metal Gear

Gods squabble, bald guy p***ed.
God of War

Black man makes friends, works out, kills cops.
GTA San Andreas?

Caffeinated furry collects rings.
sonic

Spines ripped, blood spattered, kids happy.
mortal kombat

Chainsaw-happy murderer sinks hopes for kiddie console.
Mad World

Flora breathe life into ongoing debate.
Plants vs. Zombies?

Office drone skills taught, undead killed.
Typing of the dead

[marcus]

Flower girl dies, spawns nation of emos.
FF7
Super soldier utilizes packing materials.
Metal Gear
Gods squabble, bald guy p***ed.
God of War
Black man makes friends, works out, kills cops.
San Andreas
Ayn Rand smiles from her grave.
BioShock
Loveable loser lauds lasciviousness.
Leisure Suit Larry
Whiney brat pelted with snowballs.
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
Ugly racist stereotypes get pummelled.
River City Ransom?
Caffeinated furry collects rings.
Sonic the Hedgehog
Spines ripped, blood spattered, kids happy.
Mortal Kombat
Chainsaw-happy murderer sinks hopes for kiddie console.
Splatterhouse?
Flora breathe life into ongoing debate.
Flower
Disembodied voice ushers in overused meme.
Portal
Office drone skills taught, undead killed.
Typing of the Dead
Translation budget nil, bases not covered.
Zero Wing
Pushover Xmas decoration becomes disorderly.
???
Money-printer brings curse.
Uh?
Annelids destroy stuff.
Also, uh?

Okay...guess these and add your own. I'm done for now.

the last three stumped me

[Perversion]

Plants vs. Zombies?

You were 100% until this one.


A few are a bit esoteric. I modelled these after that uneasy film reviews thing someone linked to a while back.

And this is twice in one day I've used the word esoteric in seperate posts. :|

[John Mora]

The last two are Kirby Canvas Curse and Worms.

[Perversion]

Kirby Canvas Curse

WRRRROOOOOONNNNNG!

[John Mora]

But it fits the description.

:buddy

[Riotsword]

Ugly racist stereotypes get pummelled.

Punch Out?

Disembodied voice ushers in overused meme.

My guesses are between Altered Beast(RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE) or Gauntlet(ELF NEEDS FOOD BADLY)... or Portal. Drawing a blank otherwise.

Annelids destroy stuff.

Worms?

I'll add a few of my own for people to try.

Green-haired creatures get blown up, fall to their death.

Nordic trio with handicaps get abducted by aliens.

SWAT knock-off saves slumber party co-eds from vampires.

Fast-food mascot endorses environmentalism, shameless advertising.

Wizard meets plethora of grisly demises in underground labyrinth.

[Perversion]

Primate battles Italian, lawsuits fly, money is printed.

Weird experiments, robed guy almost negate mountain of shovelware.

Hero dodges arrows, rapes squaw.

Elf's chronology confounds fans.

Faceless warrior hero among fratboys, 12 year olds.

Leather-clad sensitive guy seeks vengeance, toy capsules.

Marines, aliens, psionics, Koreans battle it out.

Gay man and son disrupt blocky Japanese life.

Company loses license, virtual pigskin bloodied.

Shocking reveal causes identity crises.

Consumerist tenant in RPG form, money printed.

Irate customers lead to broken windows.



...okay...again, I'm done for now.

[Goufunaki]

Primate battles Italian, lawsuits fly, money is printed.

Donkey Kong

Marines, aliens, psionics, Koreans battle it out.

Starcraft

[Riotsword]

Hero dodges arrows, rapes squaw.
Custer's Revenge for the Atari.

Elf's chronology confounds fans.
The Zelda series.

Gay man and son disrupt blocky Japanese life.
Katamari Damacy

Company loses license, virtual pigskin bloodied.
Blitz: The League

Consumerist tenant in RPG form, money printed.
The Sims.

[Perversion]

Green-haired creatures get blown up, fall to their death.
Castlevania?

Nordic trio with handicaps get abducted by aliens.
The Lost Vikings?

SWAT knock-off saves slumber party co-eds from vampires.
Night Trap?

Fast-food mascot endorses environmentalism, shameless advertising.
One of the 4 Burger King games? Dino Dash? Chester Cheetah's game, whatever it's called?

Wizard meets plethora of grisly demises in underground labyrinth.
Ummm...Gauntlet?

[josh]

man with physics degree helps doom everyone, has creepy stalker.

[Toaster]

Half-Life

[marcus]

Ummm...Gauntlet?

the immortal

[Perversion]

Scantily-clad pugilists relax, nerds buy lube.

Ending marred by alien ex machina.

CCG+Monopoly=/=profits.

Disillusioned guy solves puzzles, ignites ongoing debate.

Rebellious demons suck away millions of collective hours.

Handheld dating sim births internet laughingstock.

Monsters killed, yen printed.

Serfdom employed, bug-catching enjoyed.

Company says, "F*** art, here's T & A."

Console showcase crippled, dev goes belly-up.

High hopes for caveboy dashed.

Fourth game births nickel and diming, internet joke.

Decade old racer births internet joke.

Japanese warrior fights crustacean, births internet joke.

Beloved pet nuked.

Psionist plays psychiatrist.



...more to (hopefully) come.

[Red Dragon]

Scantily-clad pugilists relax, nerds buy lube.
Dead or Alive Beach Vollyball?

Rebellious demons suck away millions of collective hours.
Disgea?

Monsters killed, yen printed.
Pokemon?

Company says, "F*** art, here's T & A."
Dead or Alive BV... again?

Decade old racer births internet joke.
RIIIDGE RACCER! ?

Japanese warrior fights crustacean, births internet joke.
Giant enemy crab. No idea wahat name though.

Psionist plays psychiatrist.
Metal Gear?



Some of these are kinda odd.

[Chuck]

Green-haired creatures get blown up, fall to their death.
Lemmings?
Shocking reveal causes identity crises.
Metroid
Consumerist tenant in RPG form, money printed.
Pokemon?
Irate customers lead to broken windows.
Wii?
Scantily-clad pugilists relax, nerds buy lube.
DoA Xtreme Beach Volleyball
Ending marred by alien ex machina
]Indigo Prophecy?
CCG+Monopoly=/=profits.
Culdcept
Disillusioned guy solves puzzles, ignites ongoing debate.
Hotel Dusk?
Monsters killed, yen printed.
Monster Hunter
Decade old racer births internet joke.
Ridge Racer
Japanese warrior fights crustacean, births internet joke.
Whatever game the giant enemy crab thing was from.


Penal system impotent, murder taken lightly.

Animal cruelty = fun for all ages.

Pair seek bloody vengeance through time.

Jump, shoot, boing boing.

The most dangerous game.

Total recall.

Jesus wept, but so did he?

New school, old habits.

Popping pills and seeing spirits.

Speedy delivery.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

The ultimate knife fight.

[Perversion]

Monsters killed, yen printed. Pokemon?
Wrong...ask Gloomburg for the answer.

Company says, "F*** art, here's T & A." Dead or Alive BV... again?
I kinda cheated, because this game's not even out yet.

Psionist plays psychiatrist. Metal Gear?
Errrm...nope.

[Riotsword]

Green-haired creatures get blown up, fall to their death.
Lemmings. Chuck was right.

Nordic trio with handicaps get abducted by aliens.
Perversion got it. The Lost Vikings.

SWAT knock-off saves slumber party co-eds from vampires.
Perversion also. Night Trap.

Fast-food mascot endorses environmentalism, shameless advertising.
No correct answer yet.

Wizard meets plethora of grisly demises in underground labyrinth.
marcus +1 fake point. The Immortal.

[josh]

guy can alter time to beat his wife more affectively.

zombie eats people while listening to Rogue Wave and Death Cab for Cutie.

foreigner finds fame, fortune, and love in the big city.

guy makes it with blue chick, if you want.

guy harasses little girls, if you want.

Asian guy wails on people from around the world for some reason.

[Perversion]

guy harasses little girls, if you want.

Fable?


Also, if the first one is Braid (which I already did one for), that was pretty spoiler-iffic.

[Toaster]

See if you can help me remember a game from my past:

Game Boy game involving digging holes, searching for keys, and it had an overhead view.

It's not Mole Mania.

[Chuck]

foreigner finds fame, fortune, and love in the big city.
GTA4
guy makes it with blue chick, if you want.
Mass Effect should be noted that it could be a chick making it with a blue chick, if you want
.

[Marc M.]

Monsters killed, yen printed.
Monster Hunter
Serfdom employed, bug-catching enjoyed.
Animal Crossing
Japanese warrior fights crustacean, births internet joke.
Genji: Days of the Blade
Beloved pet nuked.
Maniac Mansion

Penal system impotent, murder taken lightly.
Manhunt
New school, old habits.
Bully
The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
Shadow of the Colossus

Zombie eats people while listening to Rogue Wave and Death Cab for Cutie.
Stubbs the Zombie
Guy harasses little girls, if you want.
Bioshock

Two corporations inexplicably wage war over industrial secrets and prime real estate.

Underdog Counselor beats the system with the help of spiritually trained teenage girl.

[Riotsword]

Two corporations inexplicably wage war over industrial secrets and prime real estate.

Sounds almost like Shadowrun to me.

[marcus]

See if you can help me remember a game from my past:

Game Boy game involving digging holes, searching for keys, and it had an overhead view.

It's not Mole Mania.

Link's Awakening (durp)

Two corporations inexplicably wage war over industrial secrets and prime real estate.

Syndicate?

[Gloom]

Toaster is thinking of Boomer's Adventure in Asmik World.

[Perversion]

Faceless warrior hero among fratboys, 12 year olds.

Leather-clad sensitive guy seeks vengeance, toy capsules.



Come on, guys...these two are obvious!

[Dreamknight]

Those would be Halo and Shenmue, Tim.

[Toaster]

Toaster is thinking of Boomer's Adventure in Asmik World.

http://egg.org.au/gallery/d/935-1/You+Win+an+Internet.jpg

[Biggie]

Money-printer brings curse.

Madden

Let's cleverly have the hard friggen final boss have the same name as the game title.

You didn't like sailing? Well we'll just make it lamer.

Why blast **** when I can currently sit on the couch and mack with my chick.

OMG THIS IS SO THOUGHT PROVOKING AND BEAUTIFUL. wait that's stupid.

[Perversion]

OMG THIS IS SO THOUGHT PROVOKING AND BEAUTIFUL. wait that's stupid.


:(


Plus, I already did one for that game.

[Marc M.]

You didn't like sailing? Well we'll just make it lamer.
Wind Waker (or Phantom Hourglass)
Why blast **** when I can currently sit on the couch and mack with my chick.
The Darkness

Sounds almost like Shadowrun to me.
-----
Syndicate?
Keep guessing.

[hitogoroshi]

Two corporations inexplicably wage war over industrial secrets and prime real estate.


Team Fortress 2.

[Gloom]

You didn't like sailing? Well we'll just make it lamer.
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Why blast **** when I can currently sit on the couch and mack with my chick.
Home :V
Fast-food mascot endorses environmentalism, shameless advertising.
Uh.. McDonald's Treasureland Adventure?

[Marc M.]

Team Fortress 2.
Correct!

Lovable monster saves day, blows s**t up with tank.

also,

CCG+Monopoly=/=profits.
Dokapon Kingdom or Journey / Culdcept Saga (they all match this description)
Company says, "F*** art, here's T & A."
Bayonetta
Fourth game births nickel and diming, internet joke.
Oblivion
Psionist plays psychiatrist.
Psychonauts

[Funk Daddy]

I've got one:

Cyborg infiltrates view screen with gibberish, spawns nerd ******s.

[Perversion]

Why blast **** when I can currently sit on the couch and mack with my guy pretending to be a chick.

Home :V


Fixed.

[Chuck]

Penal system impotent, murder taken lightly.
Manhunt
Wrong but that is the answer for one of the other ones I posted and...
Underdog Counselor beats the system with the help of spiritually trained teenage girl.
The answer to that is the answer to the one you got wrong.

[marcus]

Cyborg infiltrates view screen with gibberish, spawns nerd ******s.
System Shock and Shodan isn't a cyborg screw you

Underdog Counselor beats the system with the help of spiritually trained teenage girl.

Phoenix Wright

If you can get these, I'll be impressed:

Retrieve the amulet, become a god. Demogorgon awaits.

Build a bastion to defend against goblins. Two cats will tear it down.

Imperial Germany, 15th century. Devils, and dragons, and witches oh my!

Mighty angel rids the land of demons. Stuck babysitting whiny humans.

From fish to crazy monkey thing. Darwin would be proud.

The once mighty wizard escapes his prison. Andrew spelled backwards.

Unite the generic fantasy races. Beware the dire penguins.

Mars attacks. Build a base and blast 'em from the skies.

You're standing in a field with a mailbox. A white house in the distance.

You've entered a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

Is it a woman or a ship? Blast enemies from the sky, solve puzzles on foot.

Asshole commanders crack lighthearted jokes. Real people die on the fields.

[Gloom]

Mighty angel rids the land of demons. Stuck babysitting whiny humans.Actraiser
From fish to crazy monkey thing. Darwin would be proud.EVO
You're standing in a field with a mailbox. A white house in the distance.The Uninvited
Is it a woman or a ship? Blast enemies from the sky, solve puzzles on foot.The Guardian Legend

[marcus]

The Uninvited


nope. the rest are correct.

[Gloom]

; _ ;

[Toaster]

You've entered a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

That could be anything from Dark Spire, to Etrian Odyssey I or II, to any other kind of game like that. Hell, it could even be the original Persona.

[Red Dragon]

Gather three artifacts to become King.

Build up your walls and your troops. A siege is coming.

Watch them eat, sleep, poop, and go to work.

You fight the gods. You are the gods.

A murder mystery. An old prophecy. A DBZ ending?

An out-of-body experience to retain the your own body.

"I'm a Viking you hear me?!" *Drops nuke*

A fighting game, this is. Swords, there are.

[marcus]

That could be anything from Dark Spire, to Etrian Odyssey I or II, to any other kind of game like that. Hell, it could even be the original Persona.

True but if you played the game in question you'd know exactly what game it is.

Gather three artifacts to become King.

King's Quest

Build up your walls and your troops. A siege is coming.

Ugh, Stronghold? This could be any castle defense game.


Watch them eat, sleep, poop, and go to work.

The Sims.

A murder mystery. An old prophecy. A DBZ ending?

Farenheit

An out-of-body experience to retain the your own body.

Omikron: The Nomad Soul

A fighting game, this is. Swords, there are.

Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi, quite possibly the strangest and clunkiest game in the star wars franchise.

[Red Dragon]

Everything except for the last two are correct.

[Kire]

You're standing in a field with a mailbox. A white house in the distance.Zork.

[Gloom]

A fighting game, this is. Swords, there are.
I'm surprised Marcus missed this one. Soul Calibur 4.

[Big Rick Cook]

Irate customers lead to broken windows
I'd say Paperboy

[Perversion]

You are correct, Mr. Daigle. Took someone long enough.

I think it's funny that I did one for Indigo Prophesy as well, saying basically the same thing, and when RD did his for the same game, marcus answered Farenheit. Funny, as RD is more of a PC gamer, and Farenheit is the name of the PC version.


Also, you guys are making ones that could apply to a lot of different games, whereas I made mine where, for the most part, only one game could be the correct answer.


Plus, they're not that funny or witty or clever. :|

[Big Rick Cook]

I saw that as soon as you posted it, Perv. Just didn't bother answering cause I was escairt of being wrong.

Or I just forgot.

Too bad a diligent 5-second Google search can't solve this one!

[Perversion]

Yeah, well right now, I'm escairt that yer gonna run this 5 second Google thing right into the ground.

:minotaur

[Kefka Jr.]

An out-of-body experience to retain the your own body.Shadow of Destiny?

Escape the trendy, anorexic purgatory

Covert Photojournalism Saves the World

Take drugs, kill your mother

[Stormy]

Build a bastion to defend against goblins. Two cats will tear it down.


Dwarf Fortress.

This shouldn't be to difficult:

Kill your father, burn his kingdom to the ground, and herald a demon invasion.

[Gustaff 13]

Escape the trendy, anorexic purgatory
The World Ends With You
Covert Photojournalism Saves the WorldBeyond Good & Evil?

MY TURN! Oceanographer relaxes by getting utterly lost, repeatedly banging into rocks. Omelet attempts world conquest over the course of a century. Basically that John Ritter flick, but with a dating-sim.

[Kefka Jr.]

Beyond Good & Evil?Yep!# Omelet attempts world conquest over the course of a century.SaGa Frontier 2!!

[marcus]

Zork.

yes

You've entered a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

hint: look, this only applies to one game. it's a phrase from the game and famous among text adventure players

[Perversion]

I dunno...Leather Goddesses of Phobos?


I know that's the wrong answer...I've just always liked the title of that game.

[marcus]

half of mine were obscure rpg's and old games soooo

Retrieve the amulet, become a god. Demogorgon awaits. -nethack

Imperial Germany, 15th century. Devils, and dragons, and witches oh my! -darklands

The once mighty wizard escapes his prison. Andrew spelled backwards. - wizardry 4: the return of werdna

Unite the generic fantasy races. Beware the dire penguins. -age of wonders

Mars attacks. Build a base and blast 'em from the skies. -xcom ufo defense

You've entered a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. -colossal cave adventure

Asshole commanders crack lighthearted jokes. Real people die on the fields. -advance wars

[Big Rick Cook]

Asshole commanders crack lighthearted jokes. Real people die on the fields. -advance wars

Awwww I was gonna guess that one, too! *kicks dirt* shucks

[marcus]

it's always disturbed me that advance wars is about japanese anime stereotypes quipping each other from the safety of their tents meanwhile your soldiers are getting blasted by artillery as they try to usurp control of the nearest city.

think of the women and children caught up in the war torn cities. think of how many die when a bomber swoops down to drop it's payload on the unsuspecting tanks below. it's not like gi joe where they crawl out of the tanks, no they die. everyone in advance wars dies.

[marcus]

An out-of-body experience to retain the your own body.

avenging spirit??

[Red Dragon]

I'm surprised Marcus missed this one. Soul Calibur 4.

Yes!

Shadow of Destiny?



avenging spirit??

No.

I haven't even heard of any of these games D:

[Shard]

Have Wrench, Will Disco.

[Stormy]

Have Wrench, Will Disco.

Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction

No one has answered this yet:

Kill your father, burn his kingdom to the ground, and herald a demon invasion.

[marcus]

Kill your father, burn his kingdom to the ground, and herald a demon invasion.

disgaea 3?

[Stormy]

Nope. I'll give you a hint, its a PC game.

[Gustaff 13]

An out-of-body experience to retain the your own body. Oddworld: Abe's Odyssey?

Nobody guessed: Oceanographer relaxes by getting utterly lost, repeatedly banging into rocks. Basically that John Ritter flick, but with a dating-sim.Some new ones: Hunt some vampires while workin' on your tan. Answer annoying trivia questions, get maimed by attractions at popular theme park. Combatants from the span of history congregate to hurl ineffective insults. Cafe explodes. Carry around a tissue filled with white goo.

[Gloom]

Oceanographer relaxes by getting utterly lost, repeatedly banging into rocks.Endless Ocean? {:3

[Perversion]

I own that game...it's decent.


It's no flower, though.

[Gloom]

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y1/onlinekingdom/bee_yew_tee_full.gif