Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Final Fantasy VII: WTF Edition

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 7
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 7 template Next
    #1

    Final Fantasy VII: WTF Edition

    because I'm a loser, I thought I'd put this up. It's a (duh) parody of FFVII. Read it!

    -Prologue-

    Long-haired girl:Ooooooh, this weird glowy green light is making me soooooo
    high!*Walks out of hallway while quiet tune plays*

    Biker: Outta the way!

    Long-haired girl: Hey! watch it, jack ass!
    *super-duper cool camera effect*


    FINAL FANTASY VII!! WTF EDITION!!!

    Disc 1

    -Sector 1-

    Gaurd#1:So then I was like, "Screw employee discounts! I just want term life
    insurence!" I've got 3 kids to take care of!

    Gaurd#2:Life insurence? It's not like you're gonna die on the job!

    *A train pulls up, and AVALANCHE members show up.*

    Jessie: SUPRISE, MOTHA FUGGAS!!!*attacks*

    Gaurd#2:Well crap. *Dies*

    Gaurd#1:Told you!*Dies*

    Biggs: Yay! I kiled them all by myself!

    Jessie: No you didn't, fatso!

    Wedge: Yes he did. I saw him!

    Barret: Hey, foo'!*smacks Biggs and Wedge*

    BIggs/Wedge: Ow!

    Barret: I pity the foo' that takes credit for other people's work!

    Jessie: Thanks, Barret!

    Barret: Shut up, foo'!Get to work!

    *Jessie, Biggs and Wedge move towards the sector 1 MAKO reactor*


    *A blonde guy with a big-ass sword jumps down from the train*


    Barret: Any you hurry up too, foo'!*Turns and moves on*

    Blonde guy: YAAAAAAY! I'm the main character now! I'm going to steal some poitons from those dead gaurds!

    *more gaurds appear*

    Gaurds: FREEZE!

    Blonde guy: Uh-oh, spaghettios!

    Gaurds:Put the big-ass sword down or we'll shoot! Come to think of it, we'll
    shoot anyway!

    Blonde guy: Pointy-hair ATTACK!*Uses 2 bravers-which somehow filled up*

    Gaurds: Blarg! we're dying!*do so*

    Blonde guy:Hurray! EXP for me! Now to get those potions and enter the big
    shiny building!*does so*
    Last edited by Deeth Irteen; 03-12-2009, 09:31 AM.


    "You're dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway."
    -Walt Disney
    Tags: None
    #2
    Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

    Random words are funnah!

    Monkey baseball figureskating wakka wakka wakka dooooo!

    Comment

      #3
      Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

      Its like Im really watching a crappy flash animation on newgrounds!

      Comment

        #4
        Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

        Originally posted by Gloom
        Stupid computer! I can't tell what that is!

        -mako 1 reactor-

        Blonde guy:Hi guys! what's new?!

        Biggs:who the hell are you anyway?

        Blonde guy:who, me? I'm Christopher Leon Oscar Uren Danny Strife! Cloud, for short!

        Wedge:Whatever. Say, you used to be a member of SOLDIER, right?

        Cloud:Well actually....*anti-spoiler demons take-over*......er, I mean YES I WAS! 1ST CLASS! THAT"S ME!

        Barret:Why're you foo's wastin' time yammerin'!

        Cloud:HOLY MOLY! IT'S MR. T!!!

        Barret: What? No, foo'! I'm Barret Wallace! I pity the foo' who can't tell the difference!

        Jessie:um....right. Weren't we supposed to blow up this reactor?

        Biggs:YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I get to set a bomb!

        Barret: No, foo'! You're to watch on this bridge for any Shinra!

        Biggs: Awwwwww...
        Last edited by Deeth Irteen; 03-12-2009, 11:58 AM.


        "You're dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway."
        -Walt Disney

        Comment

          #5
          Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

          Staffmaster???
          The Cyclops having only one eye, needed to seek shelter from the harsh sun. The shadow cast by the spheres gave him temporary respite.

          Comment

            #6
            Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

            This is great. Please do the whole game.

            Comment

              #7
              Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

              I think you were looking for the Unimaginative forum, nerd god.

              PSN: KingJamos

              Add me... I'll wait.

              Comment

                #8
                Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

                I even tried reading this as a parody of itself.

                It didn't work.
                ...and that's why.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

                  Originally posted by Loki View Post
                  This is great. Please do the whole game.
                  I agree. Keep it up!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

                    my favorite part is the title.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

                      Man, I wish I were cool enough to appreciate this.
                      The Cyclops having only one eye, needed to seek shelter from the harsh sun. The shadow cast by the spheres gave him temporary respite.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

                        -inside the elevator-

                        Cloud: So, uh, why are we doing this, Mr. T?

                        Barret: I told you my name's Barret, foo'! *SMACK*

                        Cloud: Ow!

                        Barret: And we're going to blow up this reactor, cause those Shinra foo's are going to kill the planet by sucking up all the MAKO. I pity to foo' that kills the planet!

                        Cloud: Oh, okay!

                        Jessie: I'm a B-cup!

                        Cloud/Barret: ????

                        Jessie: I just wanted to talk.....


                        -the bottom of the reactor-

                        Cloud: Hey! Someone left a restore materia just lying on the floor!

                        Barret: Equip it to my weapon, foo'!

                        Cloud:Naaaaaaaaaah, I'll just put it in my pocket!

                        Barret:

                        -The reactor's core-

                        Barret: Okay, foo'! Go attach the bomb!

                        Cloud: Okie dokie !

                        Barret:

                        Cloud: Dum de dum de dum-

                        *Weird screen color change and annoying sound*

                        Voice: Stand back! This isn't a normal reactor!

                        Cloud: Wtf?

                        Barret: Stop wasting time, foo'!

                        Cloud: Oh, sorry! *attaches the bomb*

                        *Alarm sounds*

                        Voice: Intruder alert! Sending out Gaurd Scorpion!

                        Cloud: Uh-oh spaghettios!

                        Gaurd scorpion: I AM THE SCORPION-ATOR! *attacks*

                        Barret: Shut up, foo'! *fires gun*



                        D13: Will our two terrorists-er, I mean heroes destroy the gaurd scorpion? tune in next time on Final Fantasy VII: WTF edition!
                        Last edited by Deeth Irteen; 03-13-2009, 08:21 AM.


                        "You're dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway."
                        -Walt Disney

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

                          I'm gonna be honest here. I had no intention of reading further than the first post, because it was that bad, and a horrible idea to start with. But then people began egging you on and having fun with it, and you kept going, and I kept reading.

                          And then I actually kinda laughed. At this sequence.

                          Originally posted by flibbertygibbet
                          Jessie: I'm a B-cup!

                          Cloud/Barret: ????

                          Jessie: I just wanted to talk.....


                          -the bottom of the reactor-

                          Cloud: Hey! Someone left a restore materia just lying on the floor!

                          Barret: Equip it to my weapon, foo'!

                          Cloud:Naaaaaaaaaah, I'll just put it in my pocket!

                          Barret:
                          "Mindless killing doesn't do a lot for me anymore." - Sampson

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

                            to be honest, I was expecting someone to comment on my decision to make CLoud an idiot and Barret a Mr. T rip-off



                            Cloud: pointy hair ATTACK *uses cross-slash*

                            Barret: when did you learn that limit break, foo'?!

                            Cloud: Beats me. It just showed up after using braver several times.

                            Gaurd Scorpion: *raises tail*

                            Cloud: Oh snap! Barret, don't attack just yet, it's tail is in the air!

                            Barret: Shut up, foo'! *shoots Gaurd scorpion*

                            Gaurd Scorpion: Asta la vista, BABY! *attacks with tail laser*

                            Barret: Ow! That foo' shot me!

                            Cloud: tsk, Well I told you!

                            Gaurd scorpion: *lowers tail*

                            Cloud: My turn! finishing blow, ATTACK! *attacks with Bolt*

                            Gaurd Scorpion: I'l be back! *dies*

                            Cloud: We did it!

                            Voice: 10 minutes until detonation of bomb

                            CLoud/Barret:


                            Jessie: help! my foot's caught in th metal floor!

                            Cloud: but we didn't even show that! Oh well *helps her up*

                            Jessie: Thanks, cloud!

                            Barret: Shut up, foo'! we gotta run!


                            Biggs: I am soooooooo bored!

                            Wedge/CLoud/Jessie: RUNN!

                            Biggs: okay!

                            Mako 1 reactor: Say, there's still 4 minutes on the timer. Oh well *Explodes Mwahahaha!)


                            -Sector 1-

                            Biggs: I did it! I blew up the reactor all by myself!

                            Barret: Shut up, foo'!*smacks Biggs* All you foo's split up!

                            Jessie/Biggs/Wedge: *run in different directions*

                            Cloud: But what about my pay?

                            Barret: shut up, foo'! *runs away*

                            Cloud: I'll follow him with my ninja skills! *trips on a rock* OWWWW! *gets up and runs off


                            Long haired girl: What the hell's going on?

                            Cloud: Hi, lady!

                            Long haired girl: Excuse me, sir? What was that explosion?

                            Cloud: Oh, I just..blew up the.....er, I mean I have NO IDEA! say, are you selling flowers?

                            Long haired girl: Flowers? WHy yes I am! want one? only 1 gil!

                            CLoud: eh, why not? *buys a flower*

                            Long haired girl: well, see ya! *walks off screen*

                            Cloud: Hmmmmm, now what? OH, I know, I'll head down the only other path on the screen! *does so*


                            "You're dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway."
                            -Walt Disney

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Re: Final Fantasy VII: WTF editon

                              Originally posted by D13 View Post
                              Jessie: I'm a B-cup!
                              Ha! Don't worry Jessie, someday someone will love you for who you are.

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 3 4 5 7 template Next
                              Working...
                              X