The Crystal Sword of Ansalon

[GoalieGuy6]

This thread is where I will be tracking my progress on my current game, The Crystal Sword of Ansalon. Hopefully by the time the full game is complete, I will have gotten a job, and bought a Max Drive or PS3, so I can upload it and everyone can play. Before I get into the actual game, I'd like to thank Obright, since a few of the ideas in my game (career paths, starting as a child) are based off of his game Tree of Life. (Which from what I've read sounds like the best RPGM3 game ever...)

The Crystal Sword of Ansalon

Game Info
Created On: RPG Maker 3
Release Date: TBD (Hopefully Late 2009/Early 2010)

Prologue

1,000 years ago, an evil black dragon reigned over Ansalon. An ancient wizard named Kernak combined the 3 magical dragon crystals and forged the ultimate sword, which was dubbed "The Crystal Sword". The powerful warrior Kozak used The Crystal Sword to seal the black dragon in its lair permanently. Kozak became a hero, although when he returned from the dragon's lair to Ansalon, he did not have The Crystal Sword with him, and retained almost no memories of his journey, although nobody knows exactly why. For 1,000 years, Ansalon was a land of peace and prosperity, until a power-hungry ancestor of the wizard Kernak, named Banshik, found the Crystal Sword. Using its power, he opened the dragon's lair and took control of the black dragon. With it's power, he ruled over Ansalon, causing much havoc. For years he ruled, until one day he was slain by his own dragon. Banshik's dragon ruled over Ansalon, causing chaos and destruction, and nobody could do anything about it. In an effort to save Ansalon, the Sage's Council came together and tried to place a spell on the dragon, but were unable to. They did, however, foretell the prophecy of a hero. It is said that one day a baby, a descendant of the ancient warrior Kozak, will show up at a church, and will grow up to slay the black dragon ruling over Ansalon with the legendary Crystal Sword. Until "The Chosen One" is found though, all the citizens of Ansalon are able to do is wait, and pray...

Characters

Finn - Age:8-24 - Male

Finn is the protagonist of TCSoA if the player chooses to play as a male character. Finn is a very straightforward person for the most part, and does not like when people are not straightforward with him (i.e. Trying to avoid conversations, changing subjects, etc.) Usually he is able to control his temper very well, but if kept waiting for any reason, he is known to occasionally "lash out", which is dangerous to both himself and the people around him. He knows almost nothing of his past or his true parentage, and does not care to find out.

Lillith - Age:8-24 - Female

Lillith is the protagonist of TCSoA if the player chooses to play as a female character. She is almost the opposite of Finn personality-wise. She is a very caring person, and has plenty of patience in most circumstances. Also, she rarely refuses to help someone who asks her for help, causing her to be the "go-to person" for many citizens when they have a troublesome situation. Also, unlike Finn, Lillith is troubled by the fact that she does not know her true parentage, and wants to learn as much as she can about her past and ancestry.

Friar Raul - Age:57 - Male

The Friar is the only father (and only parent), that Finn/Lillith has ever known. After taking in a child found on his church doorstep and raising it as his own, all the town citizens believe that Finn/Lillith is actually the Friar's son/daughter. The only ones who know the truth are the Friar, Finn/Lillith, and Priest Defu. The Friar is a very kind and caring man, but unfortunately is a victim of his own old age, as he often suffers through things such as breathing problems, and strokes.

Priest Defu - Age:26 - Male

Priest Defu is both a friend, and an apprentice, to Friar Raul. The Friar took Defu into apprenticeship when Defu was 23, and so he only has 1 more year until he himself can become a Friar of his own church. The Priest helps care for the Friar in Finn/Lillith's absence, and often is forced to hold the holy mass by himself when the Friar is too weak to move. Nobody knows much about Priest Defu's past, and nobody has ever really thought to ask him about it.

More Characters Coming Soon...

Features

- Player Houses (The player can choose to have their own house once they are an adult.)
- Pets (Player can buy/adopt/find a pet which aids them in battle and provides other unrevealed bonuses...)
- Coliseum (A minigame in which the player can compete in a tournament.)
- Master's Guild (An exclusive guild accessed only by mastering a specific career.
- Custom Shops/Inns
- More Coming Soon...

Feedback

Any Questions? Check out the Official Q & A Thread (http://pavilionboards.com/forum/showthread.php?p=467266)!
Any suggestions or comments? Feel free to post them here, and I'll try to respond.

Want to be included in this game? Post this form with your information:

Your Character's Name:
Character Model/Color:
Character's Purpose (i.e. Sidequest, Shop Owner):

[GoalieGuy6]

Reserved for more game info...

[Zeroth]

What RPGM is it for?

As for the story, it's pretty clichéd. The way to make it interesting is going to be how you present it. The hero for example, don't just have him suddenly realise that he is the "choosen one", instead make him appear in a way the player won't expect. An example of this would be to give him a background the player wouldn't think of as being a possible background of a hero, such as the son of the evil ruler.

Anyway, that's just my two cents. I'll be looking forward to more updates. :)

[Shard]

The way to make it interesting is going to be how you present it.


I agree with this part. However, I don't think changing the circumstances of ther hero's origin is going to get the presentation where you need it to be, especially if you're swapping "chosen one" for "rebel prince".

I'm just going to throw a few things out here, you can disregard them as you like:


the Sage's Council, a council of Ansalon's most powerful sages

Try to avoid explaining things twice. Most readers would infer that the "Sage's Council" would be made up of the best and brightest, or at the very least, most powerful whether it be magically, politically, or financially.

The baby, whose coming they foretell, would be the descendant of Kozak. Kozak would be the child's ancestor.

Until "The Chosen One" is found though, all the citizens of Ansalon do is wait, and pray...

Here's where the player is going to lose interest. It's not fun when you know exactly what's going to happen about 5 minutes into a game. At this point, most of us here can dictate exactly how your story is going to go and be right about 90% of it. So what do you do to make it interesting? I'd question some of your underlying assumptions.

Such as:
Why would the citizens simply wait and pray? Why wouldn't they at least TRY to save themselves?

Are all the sages on the same page? These are men of some influence; do they all agree? Are there different factions within the council? There are a lot of ways that could play out.

Being the "Chosen One" would be a heavy burden to bear, how does your hero cope with it? Does he implicitly trust everyone around him? Does he confide in anyone or does he try to bottle everything up to keep people from using it against him?

There are layers upon layers of depth that you can add to your story that don't change the major circumstances of what you've already written.

[GoalieGuy6]

Try to avoid explaining things twice. Most readers would infer that the "Sage's Council" would be made up of the best and brightest, or at the very least, most powerful whether it be magically, politically, or financially.

Ok, I can see that is a bit redundant, I'll definitely fix that...

The baby, whose coming they foretell, would be the descendant of Kozak. Kozak would be the child's ancestor.

Ok, that was just a stupid error on my part...
I'll be fixing that too.

Why would the citizens simply wait and pray? Why wouldn't they at least TRY to save themselves?

Well, it's a bit more complicated, as they don't really have a way to save themselves...
You see, the dragons are pretty much invincible to humans. The only thing that stands a chance against the dragon is The Crystal Sword, which was lost after Banshik died. I guess I could understand the citizens fleeing, but they have nowhere to flee to. The citizens are unaware of the fact that there may be some other landmass somewhere in the world for them to live on, and if they did, they would have no way of getting of Ansalon.

Are all the sages on the same page? These are men of some influence; do they all agree? Are there different factions within the council? There are a lot of ways that could play out.

I haven't really completed this whole part of the story yet...
I'm still working on the whole Sage's Council thing, but I do like the idea of different factions in the council.

Being the "Chosen One" would be a heavy burden to bear, how does your hero cope with it? Does he implicitly trust everyone around him? Does he confide in anyone or does he try to bottle everything up to keep people from using it against him?

At the early stages of the story, the main character does not know he/she is "The Chosen One", and when he/she does learn, none of the citizens know until later, but I don't want to give away too much...

There are layers upon layers of depth that you can add to your story that don't change the major circumstances of what you've already written.

You're completely correct. As of now, the story is at a very early stage, and I am constantly developing it. I plan to try and make it as detailed as I possibly can, without running out of space on the memory card...

Thanks for all the great feedback!

[GoalieGuy6]

Ok... Quick update...
First of all, I finished the opening scene storyteller.
It isn't that long, and it doesn't look to great, but then again, I'm not too great at writing stories, so I didn't really have much to tell about in my storyteller.
Also, I finished designing the main characters (there are 2 as the player can choose a male or female character) in both their child and adult forms. (I'd like to give credit to Obright, since I got that idea from his game Tree of Life.) I've also started designing the field map, but unfortunately I suck with the editor, so I'll probably just be editing a pre-made map.

[GoalieGuy6]

Ok, another short update...
I've finished with my field map, but as I said before, it's just an edited version of one of the pre-mades. I've also started to design the trade school the player is sent to by Friar Raul, and have finished with the main town (the one the player grew up in.)