Helloh? Thankyouforcallingateentee

[Jagajeevan Omnovashiuti]

Vatistheproblem?

Canyouhearmi?

[Wraithlawl]

Our religions pass around the collection plate and where does it go? In their vaults, in their cathedrals, towards their crusades. The Vatican sits rich beyond measure while its people starve on the streets and nothing is done, but what is to be expected when their very doctrine teaches the world is inevitably evil and that God will wipe us out before taking his place among us, a misguided hope at best...

[Judd Sergeant]

Thanks for taking my call, man.

My computer is wired up to your damn network, man, and I keep getting a damn popup that just beats the living hell out of me, man, telling me I have a frickin' virus or something, and I can't do anything about it, because when I try to close it, it takes me to a site where it tries to salesmanship on me, and I don't know what to do to stop it, man.

What can I do to get these scumbags off of my computer?

[Jagajeevan Omnovashiuti]

Helloh?

Couldyouspeakmoreslowlyplissss?

[Judd Sergeant]

No, I can't. I have Ayy Dee Dee, at least that's what that scumbag Margaret says.

[Jagajeevan Omnovashiuti]

Helloh Meestah Mahr-gahr-ret. This is JagajeevanOmnovashiuti vitATanTEEcustomahsuppot howcanIhelpyoo?

[Judd Sergeant]

I'm not no Margaret, man, I'm not no feminism. I hope ya get bit by a bunch of crocodile.

*click*

You hear a soft, steady dial tone...

[Jagajeevan Omnovashiuti]

Vat did yoo dile?

Helloh?

[Sophisticated Man]

Hello, kind sir from Bangalore or whatever other inferior city in India that you hail from.

Could you teach me how to do technical stuff so I can impress Valk (Paul) and become an administrator?

[Jagajeevan Omnovashiuti]

Can I have yor 157-digit casenumberr pliss?

[Perversion]

This topic is full of win.

[Jagajeevan Omnovashiuti]

VAT? Hoo arryoo? HOW did yoo get passst our autometed customer repulsion system??

[Sophisticated Man]

I don't have a case number, but if you don't help my brother out, I will come do bad things to you while you are sleeping! :stab

...Oh, scrotum. I meant to post on my other account. AGAIN! :cry

Anyhow, will you please bestow your wisdom on me? I'm really sorry about the death threat my brother just made and I would like to make the Pav intelligent and lively again!

[Jagajeevan Omnovashiuti]

Yor computehr ees doing bat theengs?

Pliss holdthelinewhile I laugh at you vit mye coworkerss.

[Sophisticated Man]

Okay, I'll hold on until you get back...

[Jagajeevan Omnovashiuti]

Helloh?

Oh, mye various gods...they're gon.

Oh vell. Nex call.

Helloh?

[Pedo Bear]

Hi.

Is this the number for Middleton Elementary? I'd like to know your hours of operation.

[Jagajeevan Omnovashiuti]

Can I hav yor telephon numberr, social security numberr, yor address, yor spoussses first ant lass neme, yor account numberr, yor bloood type, yor political affiliation, sesssual orientation, and your wun-huntret-fipty-sebben-digit casenumberr pliss?

[Pedo Bear]

Oh,

I think I'll just drop and check out the students, I mean facilities, myself.

[Jagajeevan Omnovashiuti]

Okey, vee vill drrop yor service. Now you send us check for forrti-fibe dolla to cober disconnect fee.

Nex?

[American Hero]

Learn to speak American you ****ing Nazi!