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JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

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    #1

    JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)



    Well I'll be ****ed! New mail!



    What the hell? "Candyass"?



    A secret activation code? ****, I am supposed to be browsing A.I.M. to hire some mercenaries for the mission, but....



    *clickity click click click....*

    ********************************



    Alright, so this is me testing out how well doing a Jagged Alliance game with you schmucks would work. I'd be doing it similar to how I did X-COM, only this time hopefully not having my PC die.

    So, who wants to be team leader? First reply wins, unless the second reply has a better reason they should be team leader.
    Last edited by Garr123; 09-11-2008, 03:03 PM.
    "At first it just looked like a picture of a bunch of lily pads, but then I started scraping at it with my pocket knife and the whole painting just sort of spoke to me," Schmidt said. "For the first time, I finally understand what Monet was trying to get across in her work."
    Tags: None
    #2
    Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

    we're best friends

    Comment

      #3
      Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

      I'll do it. I'll do it commando.
      Eat Smello.

      Comment

        #4
        Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

        Nixon wins, because I already made Caciss one of the five mercs I can hire; Caciss, your disappointment is like delicious pudding to me.

        ********************

        (One-thousand clickity clicks later...)



        Three thousand dollars and a foolish mouse-click apparently got me a Merc perfectly attuned to my personality:



        Guess I'll make her team leader; this is a wise decision seeing as I've never met her and have no idea how capable she is at commanding soldiers. I am a genius.




        Now here we are, A.I.M, where I can hire some tried and tested Mercenaries without having to take personality tests. First person to catch my eyes is a man who goes by the codename Magus:



        When I attempted to contact him, he screamed at me in near incomprehensible Russian for 15 minutes. The only words I could make out for certain were "Money" and "Kefka"; I offered him a meager sum and he hung up, we'll see if he shows up. Now, what the **** is a Kefka?



        Oh, I see. And, yes, I have.

        We haggle over prices for awhile, but he's so far below Magus in skill level that I'm able to acquire his services for three cans of beans and one small dog.



        Our third Merc is this man, who went on at length about his idiot hobbies until I finally made him an offer of $10,000, if only he'd shut up. He claimed to have excellent taste in music, which according to his profile is a lie of the grandest sort.



        When I tried to contact "DreamKnight" Roberts, the connection was so bad that I was unable to discern his appearance.



        And finally, this retard. I had to hire the cheapest possible mercenary after having my coffers drained by DreamKnight. I'm really pessimistic about how he will perform, considering he's a completely talentless churl. . . But at least he doesn't have weak arms.

        Now they're all in transit to the drop point in Omerta:




        I have told them nothing of the mission, and given them only a letter from my dear friend Enrico.

        Time to sit back and wait.

        ****************************


        Well, there's the start; might be a little bit before I get the next update up.

        This isn't intended to be played through to the end, just seeing how it works. I'll probably be using FRAPS and stuff some battles and conversations, whenever I do it for real.


        Looking back through, I'll probably use .GIF for the next update's images.
        Last edited by Garr123; 09-11-2008, 04:00 PM.
        "At first it just looked like a picture of a bunch of lily pads, but then I started scraping at it with my pocket knife and the whole painting just sort of spoke to me," Schmidt said. "For the first time, I finally understand what Monet was trying to get across in her work."

        Comment

          #5
          Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

          I have... A THROWING KNIFE.

          Comment

            #6
            Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

            And a manly beard and moustache.
            So you're a fish out of water...
            Keep swimming.
            What else can you do?

            Comment

              #7
              Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

              Strength 98, YAY!!!
              The Cyclops having only one eye, needed to seek shelter from the harsh sun. The shadow cast by the spheres gave him temporary respite.

              Comment

                #8
                Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

                Plus you got the best mug shot.
                Eat Smello.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

                  Looking forward to seeing how this turns out. If you need anyone else, I'm down with it.
                  PSN: KingJamos

                  Add me... I'll wait.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

                    The team arrived by chopper at 0700, as the aircraft neared the ground a guide-rope was lowered. Cow cried furiously, because he is afraid of heights, and a manbaby.



                    Nix: Alright, everyone assemble!

                    The mercenaries take their first steps onto the Island Nation of Arulco.Among them is Magus, who curses loudly in broken English about his fee not being what he requested.

                    Caciss: I saw some bad dudes hanging around this site as we came in.

                    Nix: Locations?

                    Caciss: No idea.

                    Nix: That's not helpful at all; you are a terrible, pathetic human being.

                    Caciss:

                    D.K.: I'll take point.

                    Nix: Roger.

                    Caciss: I woulda, if you'd asked.

                    Nix: Silence, cur.

                    DreamKnight creeps out:



                    Dreamknight spots our first enemy and sights his rifle.



                    D.K.: OH GOD, NOTHING MAKES ME HARDER THAN A CLEAN HEADSHOT. UNNFFF, THE RUSH, UNNNFFFFFFFFFfffffff.

                    Nix: . . . Is it clear to move up?

                    D.K.: <Panting> Yeah. . . Whatever. . . unnggghhh.

                    The team takes up positions:


                    Kefka: I am glad comrade D.K. got first kill, brother. I am haunted by dream of getting first kill in war against alien, then I die.

                    Magus: Рекламные программы оиск в Интернете. Butt; farts!!!!!

                    Kefka: Yes, brother.

                    Nixon stands and spots another enemy trotting up, drawn by the gunfire.

                    Nix: Vicor, seven-o-clock!

                    D.K.: OH LORD, I WANT IT SO BAD.

                    DreamKnight charges at the enemy:

                    And slays them with one keen shot.


                    D.K.: JESUS CHRIST, I'M SO GOOD. TOO GOOD, SAYS THIS OBSERVER.

                    Nix: Relax, D.K.

                    Nixon turns to exit the building and a bullet zips past her head from the window.


                    She returns fire:


                    Nix: F%*k, I missed. Cow! Around the corner, get him!

                    Cow: Roger.


                    Cow: *huff huff huff huff huff wheez*

                    The enemy dies in a hail of automatic fire, cords of blood erupting from half-a-dozen wounds.



                    Caciss: Probably shoulda said that before you murdered him, dumbass.

                    Cow: Hey. . . But. . . I got a kill.

                    D.K.: But I got two, and the first kill.

                    Cow: awwww, shucks. *kicks the dirt and looks very, very sad*

                    Magus uses his Russokinesis to divine that all enemies have been subdued, and screams in garbled english:


                    TO BE CONTINUED....
                    Last edited by Garr123; 09-11-2008, 06:31 PM.
                    "At first it just looked like a picture of a bunch of lily pads, but then I started scraping at it with my pocket knife and the whole painting just sort of spoke to me," Schmidt said. "For the first time, I finally understand what Monet was trying to get across in her work."

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

                      Can we fire Nixon as commander.

                      She's kind of mean :[

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

                        With my tight pants I shall rule over this battlefield.
                        Last edited by DK; 09-11-2008, 06:44 PM.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

                          Can we fire Nixon as commander.
                          She's kind of mean :[
                          If I were really mean, I'd strip you down and make you go into battle naked. Be thankful I just confiscated your pants.
                          Eat Smello.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

                            My butt is freezing!!!

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Re: JAGGED ALLIANCE (Test Run (Pro Click Zone)

                              You get any more slots open I'm down for being cannon fodder.

                              Comment

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