I need some feedback on this track.

[Bon]

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=526891

As you know, whenever I make a musical creation, I post my update in the Imaginari forum. However, as of late, I've gotten no responses since the topic itself was created several weeks ago. Consequently, I have put my creation here in free forum in the hopes that the masses will give me direct, no-holds-barred critiques of what I call my first serious "R and B" song. Your feedback will be highly appreciated.

[Kefka Jr.]

Re: I need some feedback on this track.

At the moment I am listening to Nirvana.

I am making this post as a PROMISE TO YOU that I will provide feedback once I am done.

[Duel]

Re: I need some feedback on this track.

I'm not a master musician or anything, but I like it.

[Kefka Jr.]

Re: I need some feedback on this track.

Hey, you sound real good in this. I mean, your voice sounds good, but it sounds real filtered-up, like I'm listening through some kinda mesh. There was one part where you layered your voice though that sounded pretty cool.

You're going pretty easy in this one, but for some reason I kinda wish you were a little sharper. Like, the very start, the really strong deliveries on "I saw a girl yes-ter-day," and "velvety lips," that sounds great. I think it sounds best when you just attack those consonants, especially the t's, and it kills me when I can't hear the consonants at the ends of "tonight" and "appetite". Not only would that pack a punch, I think it'd make everything sound clearer.

I mean, that's my thinking at the moment. That guy who the beats is good.