I posted this on facebook last night. Forgive the profanity.
I'm frustrated with my job, if you couldn't tell.
Never. Ending. Pasta. Bowl.
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Fat Asses who eat way too much food and because of that, they don't tip well. After all, they spend all of their money on food to feed the habit. Ok, I'll admit, that's an unfair assumption. When I see a fat couple who can't fit into a booth I don't automatically assume they won't tip because, after all, they are saving that money for another meal and that tipping the waiter at least 15% would be wasteful. But this does hold true when your restaurant gets business solely on the promise of ENDLESS PASTA and REFILLS on every god damn thing imaginable. We are banking on the buffet crowd. Depending on people like the 500 pound man who have been house-ridden for 3 years and collect disability because they are simply too obese to be of any use to society. They had to get the whole family together just to get Pappy off the couch and into The Olive Garden. The type of people who come to the Olive Garden for never-ending pasta aren't ****ing around here, because this is an EVENT. Screw protesting the RNC, I'm protesting the NEPB.
What really gets me about this promo is not only the lack of mutual respect between sever and fat-ass, but it's the personification of what's wrong with America. You don't NEED 3 bowls of pasta buddy, you already had a dozen bread sticks, 2 bowls of that "TUSCANY" soup and 3 Diet Cokes. I love how people who binge decide to top their massive ****ing meal off with a DIET soda. Why not go all the way, fatty? You're already a heart attack victim waiting to happen.
When I started the Olive Garden I thought it would be a pretty cool place to work because I wouldn't have to deal with the trashy crowd. I'd classify the OG as a semi-fine dining restaurant, where the people who went there typically would show respect for the establishment, social norms, and yours truly. We're no Waffle House, that's for sure. But now this is my third year of this **** and it's reached the boiling point. I feel like Peter Gibbons on Office Space, and I simply can't stomach working there anymore. Until mid-October, we've been transformed into a glorified soup-kitchen for the Wal-Mart crowd of America, and I don't know why any self-respecting restaurant would do that to themselves and their reputation. **** it though, Darden is an evil faceless corporation/entity and I'm just a number, after all. But I'm an angry number.
Go to the Old Country Buffet, you fat pricks. Yes, you can have a refill. And yes, I'll even box that refill up for you to take home. I'll even smile the entire time while doing so, something that even your 3 dollar tip won't be able to wipe away from my face.
Go to hell, NEPB.
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Fat Asses who eat way too much food and because of that, they don't tip well. After all, they spend all of their money on food to feed the habit. Ok, I'll admit, that's an unfair assumption. When I see a fat couple who can't fit into a booth I don't automatically assume they won't tip because, after all, they are saving that money for another meal and that tipping the waiter at least 15% would be wasteful. But this does hold true when your restaurant gets business solely on the promise of ENDLESS PASTA and REFILLS on every god damn thing imaginable. We are banking on the buffet crowd. Depending on people like the 500 pound man who have been house-ridden for 3 years and collect disability because they are simply too obese to be of any use to society. They had to get the whole family together just to get Pappy off the couch and into The Olive Garden. The type of people who come to the Olive Garden for never-ending pasta aren't ****ing around here, because this is an EVENT. Screw protesting the RNC, I'm protesting the NEPB.
What really gets me about this promo is not only the lack of mutual respect between sever and fat-ass, but it's the personification of what's wrong with America. You don't NEED 3 bowls of pasta buddy, you already had a dozen bread sticks, 2 bowls of that "TUSCANY" soup and 3 Diet Cokes. I love how people who binge decide to top their massive ****ing meal off with a DIET soda. Why not go all the way, fatty? You're already a heart attack victim waiting to happen.
When I started the Olive Garden I thought it would be a pretty cool place to work because I wouldn't have to deal with the trashy crowd. I'd classify the OG as a semi-fine dining restaurant, where the people who went there typically would show respect for the establishment, social norms, and yours truly. We're no Waffle House, that's for sure. But now this is my third year of this **** and it's reached the boiling point. I feel like Peter Gibbons on Office Space, and I simply can't stomach working there anymore. Until mid-October, we've been transformed into a glorified soup-kitchen for the Wal-Mart crowd of America, and I don't know why any self-respecting restaurant would do that to themselves and their reputation. **** it though, Darden is an evil faceless corporation/entity and I'm just a number, after all. But I'm an angry number.
Go to the Old Country Buffet, you fat pricks. Yes, you can have a refill. And yes, I'll even box that refill up for you to take home. I'll even smile the entire time while doing so, something that even your 3 dollar tip won't be able to wipe away from my face.
Go to hell, NEPB.




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