My RPG Maker Story

[Zeroth]

I've only written part of it, but that's because I wanted some opinions on it first. I haven't worked everything out yet, so bare with me.


In the continent of Dynenith (di-nen-eth), three kingdoms rule the land. The first one, Rasual, is the biggest of these. The second is Idenane (I-da-nane); this kingdom is the smallest out of the three. The last is Pladin. Now, Rasual and Idenane are at war with each other. This war has been going on for decades. Though Idenane is the smallest of these kingdoms, Idenane is made up of a special race of humans. These humans, called Eldens, have special powers. During this war, Pladin has managed to stay neutral, and has even taken advantage of the situation by offering supplies to each kingdom.

The kingdoms

Rasual is a kingdom of power. It lives by power, rules by power, and for power. Its king, Escalon, rules strictly and harshly. The kingdom of Rasual always tries to take advantage of any situation, whither by persuasion or force. From this, it has gained a vast army, made up of many legions of soldiers. By battling Idenane, it seeks to gain its land and use its people to strengthen its military might. If this is accomplished, Rasual will be a force unmatched, and the military might of the world.

Idenane is a rather small kingdom, consisting of only a modest army. Although this army is small, it is by no means weak. The people of this army are made up of Eldens—a race of people gifted with extraordinary abilities. These people are able to harness magic unexplained, making a single Idenane soldier equal ten Rasual soldiers. The greatest gift the Eldens possess is their ability to absorb energy of fallen people. Using this energy, they unlock new abilities, while strengthening old ones. However, the weakness of the Eldens is their inability to reproduce efficiently. Rarely can Elden families birth more than two children. Thus, the war has brought great strain to the Elden population, and even greater strain to their military. Idenane wants to end the war, and has even made numerous attempts at peace treaties, but all attempts have failed.

Pladin is neutral in the war, but Idenane and Rasual attempted to form an alliance with it. Pladin refused, seeing it more profitable to stay neutral than to serve a single side. It offers up supplies to both Idenane and Rasual, such as weaponry and some of its natural resources. It is unknown what will become of Paldin once either side wins the war.


That's all of it for now. What do you think? I'd really like some feedback on how I can improve it. I thought about including some more kingdom, but I haven't decided on it. Anyway, your feedback will really help me to improve the story.

[Lausen]

Re: My RPG Maker Story

The consept isn't exactly the most original, but I kinda like the sound of it. I like the Eldens ability to use fallen warriors powers. The fact that they have trouble reproducing helps give the war situation a state of urgency. Again the broad plot is somewhat cliche, but it also has so many possibilities for twists. I say you should go for it.

[Zeroth]

Re: My RPG Maker Story

I really appreciate your comments, Lausen. If you have any more to add, I'd really like to here them. What do you think about adding more kingdoms?

[Whataface2]

Re: My RPG Maker Story

I think you should just stay with the three kingdoms. The more players you put into the story the harder it is to make. Also what side is the player going to be on? Who are the characters?

[Zeroth]

Re: My RPG Maker Story

Although I haven't written any characters yet, the story is going to take place from the Elden's point of view.

[Catharsis]

Re: My RPG Maker Story

I think the game Tactics: Ogre would inspire you. Tactics ogre came out before Final Fantasy tactics, in fact FFT totally stole it and made a new story with almost the same system.

Conflict is the core element of any story. Especially moral conflict.

In ogrebattle there are three kingdoms and you play in the weakest. You rescue this town from the bad guys and theres like 10,000 civilians here. Your land NEEDs fighters bad, so your superiors want you to draft these people into the army. But they are civilians and absolutely refuse to go into war, so your superiors have a new order for you:

Burn the entire town and kill them in all the fire. Since no land would burn its own people it will make the enemy look bad and cause rebellions and the third kingdom would join you against them. In fact no one else even knows that you liberated this place from the bad guys so they would definitely take the blame.

If you follow these orders your alignment becomes lawful. If you refuse to follow them you become chaotic, and go off to make your own rebel force. Here you become a terror knight with a terror aura that weakens all enemies who face you in melee combat.

Anyway theres like 13 different endings in ogrebattle games, all with a lot of conflict.

I would suggest you do something like that, where you have some multiple choice thrown into the mix.

[Zeroth]

Re: My RPG Maker Story

This isn't a very big update. I haven't worked on the story in a while, so I'm trying to get back into the groove of things. Again, if you see anything that could use improvement, I encourage you to make a suggestion.

The Continent

The continent of Dynenith is a large landmass with many natural resources. Because of its unique weather system, the land has various climates often contrasting each other sharply in different neighboring regions. Though its people have adapted to most of the land’s regions, some areas are too hospitable to survive. While three kingdoms rule Dynenith, Idenane, Pladin, and Rasual have many settlements within them. Often these settlements are an extension of the kingdom itself, while others are separate and unto themselves. Rasual doesn’t like these “rogue settlements” in its territory, and tries to conform them to its standard. If such a settlements resists transformation, it is destroyed.


Yeah, kind of a grim ending to that, but I'm probably going to add and change some things eventually. Oh, and thanks for the suggestion Raithwall. I never played that game before, but it sounds somewhat like what I have going on. Oh, well.

[Lausen]

Re: My RPG Maker Story

It sounds pretty good. It offers a lot of potential for conflict, and some unique characters. It'll be how you present it that will make it different and special. Good luck with it.