No gloomy allowed.
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
This is really bad and I don't mean to say this to make you feel bad but I do mean to tell you that what you have created is bad.Comment
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
Why is it so bad? What am I doing wrong?Originally posted by John Mora View PostComment
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
Mora's a grump.Comment
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
I think Mora was being as gentle as I've ever seen him be. It reads like the writing of a child in a language that is not his native tongue, perhaps translated by Babelfish.
Forced, stilted, generic, bland, melodramatic... you may have a rewarding career as a screenwriter ahead of you, but your sprite-comic is offensive to anyone that finds beauty in language.Last edited by Shard; 08-14-2008, 05:54 PM.So you're a fish out of water...
Keep swimming.
What else can you do?Comment
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
And the text color is sooooo wrong. It hurts my eyes.
Don't copy that floppy!Comment
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
You should make it make a little more sense. I found myself lost a couple times. Good work though!AscendancyComment
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
I think the problem you are having is that you are spending too much time telling the story and not enough time showing the story. As an author, you have to understand that people like to figure things out for themselves. Sure, it's cool that your character is a bringer of light and all, but I really..don't care. I mean..you can't just introduce your character and expect everyone to be interested in what the story is. You have to slowly explain and introduce it...
I mean..it's got a good premise, but needs a bit of work.
Edit-Here is an example you might be able to work with. I use photoshop, but I think you can do most of the stuff with GIMP that you can with photoshop. Now this is complete crap that took me only a few hours to do, so please forgive it. I am not looking for any critique, just to give an idea. I am probably not going to do this unless I feel I need practice with my comicking. I don't like sprite comics that much, and it's a bit of a pain to create them, considering I'll never be able to do my characters in many settings other then their native campaign.
The Shadowless Child.
The next few pages would focus on her talking to her belt, which has some sort of intelligent enchantment on it to act as a comic relief. It chides her on how she made *that* mistake a long time ago, and shouldn't dwell on the past. She feels it would be too much of a bother to try and investigate further and turns to find herself attacked by a gargoyle. She barely makes it out alive, and struggles, her belt giving her guff about how she isn't up to parr. By using banter and sublte hinting throughout the next few pages, you find out that the woman lost her shadow as a child, and as a result is slowly loosing her memory and her abilities. Enter a plot device too insignificant for this non-existing story and go from there.Last edited by Libby; 08-14-2008, 09:58 PM.Comment
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
Thank you Libra. I put some of your suggestions to work on this new one. I think now I might be able to present them better, and slow down a bit.
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
Muuuuch better.Comment
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
Eros is a poor winner.Comment
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
Very good. I was hoping it might give you a better idea. I like the fact you are using a more consistent format. When I personally do comics, I tend to like having a 550x800 pixel format, but yours is very good. I'm glad you got the better font as well. It looks good and makes me want to read it.Comment
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
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Re: Guild Wars Comic Revisted.
The story seems all over the place. Your grammar is horrendous, especially your lack of proper punctuation which makes me read everything in a totally flat monotone. And let's look at this line: "Haha your all dead good prevails I prevail haha!"
Can you see what's wrong with this? Because there's several things.Comment
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