Alright, my poem topic.

[altoecko]

I kept posting individual topics because I knew you'd guys respond more. But trust me, I'd spam the board if I made a topic for every poem. Mind just humoring me and commenting every now and then? Good or bad, I don't care. I'd just like to know if anyone acctually reads these.

(352.) Dream Of An Angel
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I awoke and stared out into the night.
There was nothing to see but drowned out light.

The dream was quick and the message blunt.
The fox would run and the dog would hunt.

I breathed a breathe and heaved a sigh.
I whiped the sweat away from above my eye.

Not a thought could cross my mind.
The face I saw was one of a kind.

An angel in a silk robe stood staring out.
The feelings overtook me and I let out a simple shout.

"I love you." I spat unto the angel as she looked down on me.
She peered straight through me, I could clearly see.

"Why?" she asked with a smile.
"I do not know." I said with unbridled denile.

But I did and she knew.
She could read me through and through.

I asked her to please come by my side.
But she turned away and quickly went to hide.

Like a dog with smell of meat.
I quickly pounded my feet.

I chased her through the forest, untill my body had no more.
Frightened was I, for the angel I may bore.

She would lose interest and I would cry.
But she gently whispered "If you left I would die."

I shed a tear and pushed on.
She held my hand and supported me untill the moon was gone.

The light bled into my eyes.
And I awoke to see no blue skies.

But the light I saw beaming about, was nothing more than her soft skin.
And to describe the beauty lying next to me, I cannot begin.

[Czechs Mex]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

Read it. Pretty good. I like the last couple lines.
I'm curious to see what you could do with a different/no rhyming scheme, Alto.

[pinkymadigan]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

Indeed. Free form it. The scheme is too sing-songy and simple.

[altoecko]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

(353.) Kisses Are Wine
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My heart to thy heart
My hand to thine
My lips to thy lips
Kisses are wine.
Brewed within rhyme.
Perfected in time.

My head to thy head
My skin to yours
My soul to thy soul
Slowly it pours.
Mixed together with you
As pure as the dew.

My hopes to thy hopes
My dreams to ours
My strength to thy strengths
Your incredible powers.
You have no weakness or flaw
Most perfect being, that I ever saw.

My future to thy future
My tomorrow today
My words thy ears
"I love you" I say.
Now build dreams with me in bed.
Come lie with me and rest our head.

(354.) Why Do I Love You?
=---------------------------------------------------=
Why do I love you?
Because you smile and I warm.
Because we fight and you cry.
And I do something stupid and hurt you.
So I say I'm sorry.
You get a headache and I tell you I love you.
I ask i I can help and you say no.
I remark and you misunderstand.
Why do I love you?
Because you love me.
Because you hold my hand.
And you make me feel good by just being near.
So I try to be with you at all times.
You get tired of me I sometimes fear.
I ask if this is true and you think I poke fun.
I cry because of the thought that you might leave me behind.
Why do I love you?
Because you let me.
Because you are the greatest thing to happen, ever.
And because you're beautiful.
So I tell you.
You don't believe me.
I tell you more.
I tell you the truth.
Why do I love you?
Because you are perfect.
Because you have no equal before my eyes.
And I see clear beside you.
So I grip tight.
You tell me to get off.
I ask why.
I feel hurt.
Why do I love you?
Because there is nothing better I can do.
Because you in all meaning of the phrase, complete me.
And you love me.
So what if we fight?
You love me right?
I love you.
I can say this with all my being and it's true.

(355.) Transfusion
=---------------------------------------------------=
No need for a second glance.
You've already played the game, lost your chance.
Glanced about in a daze of confusion.
As if you'd had a bad transfusion.
What's that you say, your bloods gone bad?
The blood I pumped in you is all you had.
I kept you healthy and well.
Made your body run and lifted you from hell.
Well you're the one that walked away.
Didn't leave a letter, didn't have much to say.
You can't live without me you know.
But through your body I no longer flow.
So what if you die?
I'm still healing from you leaving and I cry and I cry.
Serves you right for taking me out.
You deserve your fate, without a doubt.

[Czechs Mex]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

yeah! i kind of like those first two, alt. what do you think? you should do more like that (meaning not AABB rhyming sceme) in my opinion. they're less predictable.

[altoecko]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

lol Didn't read much of my work before didja? =p Mostly all I write are none AABB.

[Czechs Mex]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

maybe it's just the constant tight rhyming at the end of each line i'm thinking of.

[d2king10]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

I love them alt. Great work =D Cant wait to see more of your stuff.

[altoecko]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

Thanks.

(356.) Blue Hat
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Blue hat on red head.
Arrow shoot, I'll soon be dead.
Heaven's part and doors split.
Light is seen from within the pit.
She walks with her head held high above.
The blue hat hides her true love.
But it shows she cares so much.
That she's willing to chance it all to touch.
She loves her style, she loves her grace.
I love the soul behind that pretty face.
She'll wear it snug, around her brain.
In hopes it will somehow cause the rain.
She lets him wear it when he is down.
Thinking it may somehow cure his frown.
But she hates the way it look.
So back to her head it is soon took.
Girl in blue hat I love you so.
And even if I can't show you enough, I want you to know.


(357.) No Words
=---------------------------------------------------=
No words can show the way I feel.
But with all my might I shall try.
To glorify your name even if it all be in vain.
I love you and I want everyone to know.
That my love is pure and so is your embrace.
I love you is all I may say.

[pinkymadigan]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

You keep saying that, but your rhyme scheme IS usually AABB. That's what we're talking about. I liked the free verse rhyming scheme ones a lot better.

[altoecko]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

Yeah I sorta gravitate back to them for the simple poems.

[altoecko]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

(358.) Maze Rats
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City sidewalk stretched out as far as I can see.
Millions of people walking to and fro.
But I wonder, do they really have anywhere to go?
I myself am quite lost in this big maze of concrete.

I wonder if they notice me.
As I walk along this paved road to nowhere.
Will I end up somewhere?
But I guess to them I'm just a ghost.

A weary traveller or a beggar for their change.
They could care less for my life, my name.
We're all so different yet so earily the same.
People pass me by and never look.

If I were special, or had some kind of trait.
Do you think they would look at me and release noise of "Ooh" and "Ah!"?
Marvel at my skills and throw change into my hat of straw.
Or would I just be another thing they saw on Mulberry Lane?

I feel lonely as they all move by so fast.
No change to spare, no words to say.
Just mindlessly to and fro they sway.
From sun up to moon down, they all just run the maze.

I am different as you can see.
No home nor love nor things to share.
I have no home, as if anyone care.
No time of day or nice hello.

I wander alone in my house of nothing.
Poor, alone, and so cold.
I think I shall die alone and not that old.
And the people shall just keep walking.

Next time you're in the maze.
Looking for the reward of cheese.
Could you please,
Spare some change or a nice hello?

[Redneck 2000]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

Sorry I haven't commented in a while, but that blue hat one was really cool. More visual than the other ones, I think.

The new one is pretty good too. Sorry I can't give more specific criticisms but I'm no poet.

[altoecko]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

Hey, it's fine, as long as you comment.


*WARNING* This is a bit raunchy.

(359.) Nine Feet Long
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If I had a dick that was nine feet long!
I'd be king of all men and master of the schlong.
So Genie, that is my wish, give me a dick that's 3 feet thick!
So the Genie did so and did so real quick.
He fell to the ground and couldn't stand.
As he squirmed in pain at the anguish at hand.
A beautiful woman began to walk past.
Blood started flowing to the spot real fast.
He grew pale, and realized what he'd done.
He didn't have enough blood to run that huge ton!
So is the story of the insecure man.
Remember this lesson, if you want a big willy, think out your plan.


(360.) Red Meat
=---------------------------------------------------=
Joey lived in a happy up-side down.
Nary a face with a face with a right-side-frown.
Joey was a boy who loved his life.
His daddy carved meat with a butchers knife.
Daddy loved Joey very much.
But mommy loved Joey , daddy, and every man she could touch.
Joey went to school with a big ol smile.
Just a little up the road, about a mile.
Smiles were everywhere around.
Except the for the boy who made not a sound.
From a little city miles away.
Driving non-stop it'd take you a day.
Joey went home to find mommy in bed.
Daddy found out and soon she was dead.
Joey understood and so did the town.
They buried mommy in her favorite gown.
She looked pretty, and everyone grinned.
It was ok, mommy had sinned.
The sad little boy told Joey not to cry.
But it was ok, just mommy that die.
The sad little boy was sad and scared.
It was as if no one had cared.
That woman just go killed!
Why were they all so earily thrilled?
New meat was in daddy's shop the next day.
"Red Meat" was all the sign would say.
The sad little boy's parents bought a pound.
To the piece of hair in the meat his eyes were bound.
Was this the woman that had died?
Was this the reason that no one had cried?
Joey ate happily in the butcher store.
Eatign and chewing, more and more!
The sad boy called him sick and a Cannibal.
He knew that word, as he'd seen Hannibal.
Instantly was knife in his back.
Like a cold silent heart attack.
The boy slump slowly to the floor below.
Another word of the boy no one would ever know.
His family was kicked out of town real quick.
But the butcher's shop had new meat, "Red Meat, Extra Thick"

[pinkymadigan]

Re: Alright, my poem topic.

Much too silly for my tastes.
The maze one was decent, but there is a verse that overstates its point too much. It mentions having no home twice pretty much verbatim. Very redundant.
Sometimes your sense of rhythm is very askew. It bugs me. Too each their own.