Here are my Top Ten Most Epic Video Game Moments (potential MAJOR spoilers for any games listed), hopefully written in an entertaining way to make up for how long it is:
10) TOUCHDOWN! Tecmo Super Bowl (NES)
In the realm of football games, there is only one true champion. 17 years after it's release, no other game has captured the raw EPICNESS of a touchdown like Tecmo Super Bowl. After a 99-yard run (while avoiding flickering defensemen) or an 80+ yard pass, to see "TOUCHDOWN! BO JACKSON" (everyone played the Raiders back then because they didn't suck like they do now) and a "widescreen" rushing cut scene (Tecmo loved these things, didn't they?) of him jumping into the arms of a fellow player with his arm extending high in air and ending with a hand proclaiming "We're #1" IS PURE EPIC. And then you reset the game because you didn't win the Super Bowl by more than 100 points.
9) Hilter packin' serious HEAT Wolfenstein 3D (PC)
This is the game that gave you the chance to slaughter Nazis WAY before Medal of Honor came around, and it had something Medal of Honor didn't have: Hilter with freakin' gatling guns grafted to his arms! AND he melts into a bloody mess of tissue and bones if you get lucky and kill him. Plus they replay it on the DeathCam™! Now that's EPIC!
8) Disaster Master Sim City 2000 (PC)
Anyone that's played this game (and there are many people that have) have done this. You have the perfect city (by your reckoning). Life is GOOD. And yet, your unsatisfiable Sim Citizens still want MORE. And to satisfy YOUR God-like desires, you give it to them. In the form of FLOODS and FIRES and TORNADOES and RIOTS and POLLUTION and ALIENS. The whole town lies in RUIN. Mass hysteria. Dogs lying with cats. And you look back at the havoc you have unleashed and don't save your game (only so you can do it all again tomorrow). EPIC.
7) FINISH HIM/HER!!! Mortal Kombat (GEN)
It's the video game that is best known for getting parents hating on video games. But it's also the game every male in America wanted to play so that they could not only beat down their best friend, but also taunt them by ripping out their skull with the spinal cord still attached. When the words "FINISH HIM!" appears on the screen, you'd better know that button sequence for the EPIC smackdown.
6) Psycho Mantis struts his stuff Metal Gear Solid (PSX)
First, Psycho Mantis looked deep into your soul and knew you were a Suikoden fan. HUH? Then, he moved your controller right across the room as you leaped onto your sofa. WHAT?! Then, he freaked up your TV and let you know that you were in Hideo's world now.
EPIC. Tactical. Espionage. Action.
5) Hey, Sephiroth just blew up Pluto...AGAIN. Final Fantasy VII (PSX)
It's rather ridiculous, and nearly two minutes long. A close up of Sephiroth's face. The word "Supernova" above his head. And then you sit...and you watch. A glyph in space. Gibberish formulas and then...a comet. It jets for a nearby galaxy. Then it demolishes pluto. Takes out a few of Saturn's rings. Rips Jupiter a new one. And sets its sights on the Sun. And BOOM! The Sun goes SUPERNOVA (as previously announced). Mercury and Venus don't stand a chance. They're PLANETS. You know YOU'RE next. It's just you and Sephiroth and an EXPLODING SUN. And then...you only take 7000 damage. You learn you're more invincible than a PLANET. And you heal yourself and a little later Sephiroth somehow destroys the solar system AGAIN. It's crazy. It's ludicrous. But it's undeniably EPIC.
(And you can blame it for every long, drawn-out, over-the-top attack sequence in later RPGs)
4) Rolling up EVERYTHING Katamari Damacy (PS2)
That's right, YOU ROLL UP THE WORLD. Going from fruit to dogs to humans to homes to towns to islands to clouds and that giant octopus. You start with a 1m ball and are left standing with a 850m+ Katamari being orbitted by angels and with some of the best video game music EVER (Na Na! Na na na na na na...KATAMARI DAMASHII!) blaring in the background. You make Dad proud and solve his drinking problem. All in a day's work for a pint-size Prince with EPIC aspirations.
3) What? My name is? Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (XBOX/PC)
Some people called it. Other people lied about calling it. Still other people just sat there with their mouths wide open. Any way you look at it, it was EPIC, and that's all I have to say about that.
2) Muted...FOREVER? Chrono Trigger (SNES)
So you're in the middle of this ancient magical city, really just chillin', and looking for this psycho hose beast of a queen, when this little blue-haired kid strolls by and calmly announces "The black wind howls...one of you will perish shortly." And you're all like "WTF?! You emo little brat!" Then you look more closely at your party and realize that, minus the spiked-hair red-headed mute guy (who just HAPPENS to be your main character), that you had a choice in your two other companions. So, yeah, basically the game just announced that the MAIN CHARACTER is going to die. You shrug it off. Yeah, right. That NEVER happens.
Flash forward to a battle that in any other game would be the final battle. It's you and this blue-haired kid all grown up and his hot sister and your own little possé against this spine-ridden shell with a beak that is a known destroyer of life as we know it. And so the main character decides to take a crack at him (bad decision) AND DISINEGRATES before your very eyes. HE'S DEAD. And you, as a player, is like "WTF". And your possé is like "WTF". And the only word that can describe it is EPIC.
(Then later you're reminded that you're in a time-travelling adventure and you can Marty McFly your way to getting your Doc...err, Mute, back. So it's all cool).
1) The Zebes Showdown Super Metroid (SNES)
It could possibly be the most EPIC final battle in video game history. Samus vs. Mother Brain in the most wanted rematch in galactical history. It had everything: nostalgia, fear, emotion...and Mother Brain on top of what looked like the Queen Alien's body. Just when it seemed that it was the end of Samus, the hatchling (not so hatchling-ish anymore) swoops in to save the day before sacrificing itself to give Samus the power she would need to finish off the Brain once and for all. And if that's not enough: you get a little heart-pounding race to the finish line before an exploding Zebes can avenge Mother Brain. Of course, you made it off, leaving a smoking hole in space in your wake. EPIC. MISSION. COMPLETED.
(And if you did it fast enough you got to see a pixelated Samus in a bikini! BONUS?)
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Anything else major that I missed?
10) TOUCHDOWN! Tecmo Super Bowl (NES)
In the realm of football games, there is only one true champion. 17 years after it's release, no other game has captured the raw EPICNESS of a touchdown like Tecmo Super Bowl. After a 99-yard run (while avoiding flickering defensemen) or an 80+ yard pass, to see "TOUCHDOWN! BO JACKSON" (everyone played the Raiders back then because they didn't suck like they do now) and a "widescreen" rushing cut scene (Tecmo loved these things, didn't they?) of him jumping into the arms of a fellow player with his arm extending high in air and ending with a hand proclaiming "We're #1" IS PURE EPIC. And then you reset the game because you didn't win the Super Bowl by more than 100 points.
9) Hilter packin' serious HEAT Wolfenstein 3D (PC)
This is the game that gave you the chance to slaughter Nazis WAY before Medal of Honor came around, and it had something Medal of Honor didn't have: Hilter with freakin' gatling guns grafted to his arms! AND he melts into a bloody mess of tissue and bones if you get lucky and kill him. Plus they replay it on the DeathCam™! Now that's EPIC!
8) Disaster Master Sim City 2000 (PC)
Anyone that's played this game (and there are many people that have) have done this. You have the perfect city (by your reckoning). Life is GOOD. And yet, your unsatisfiable Sim Citizens still want MORE. And to satisfy YOUR God-like desires, you give it to them. In the form of FLOODS and FIRES and TORNADOES and RIOTS and POLLUTION and ALIENS. The whole town lies in RUIN. Mass hysteria. Dogs lying with cats. And you look back at the havoc you have unleashed and don't save your game (only so you can do it all again tomorrow). EPIC.
7) FINISH HIM/HER!!! Mortal Kombat (GEN)
It's the video game that is best known for getting parents hating on video games. But it's also the game every male in America wanted to play so that they could not only beat down their best friend, but also taunt them by ripping out their skull with the spinal cord still attached. When the words "FINISH HIM!" appears on the screen, you'd better know that button sequence for the EPIC smackdown.
6) Psycho Mantis struts his stuff Metal Gear Solid (PSX)
First, Psycho Mantis looked deep into your soul and knew you were a Suikoden fan. HUH? Then, he moved your controller right across the room as you leaped onto your sofa. WHAT?! Then, he freaked up your TV and let you know that you were in Hideo's world now.
EPIC. Tactical. Espionage. Action.
5) Hey, Sephiroth just blew up Pluto...AGAIN. Final Fantasy VII (PSX)
It's rather ridiculous, and nearly two minutes long. A close up of Sephiroth's face. The word "Supernova" above his head. And then you sit...and you watch. A glyph in space. Gibberish formulas and then...a comet. It jets for a nearby galaxy. Then it demolishes pluto. Takes out a few of Saturn's rings. Rips Jupiter a new one. And sets its sights on the Sun. And BOOM! The Sun goes SUPERNOVA (as previously announced). Mercury and Venus don't stand a chance. They're PLANETS. You know YOU'RE next. It's just you and Sephiroth and an EXPLODING SUN. And then...you only take 7000 damage. You learn you're more invincible than a PLANET. And you heal yourself and a little later Sephiroth somehow destroys the solar system AGAIN. It's crazy. It's ludicrous. But it's undeniably EPIC.
(And you can blame it for every long, drawn-out, over-the-top attack sequence in later RPGs)
4) Rolling up EVERYTHING Katamari Damacy (PS2)
That's right, YOU ROLL UP THE WORLD. Going from fruit to dogs to humans to homes to towns to islands to clouds and that giant octopus. You start with a 1m ball and are left standing with a 850m+ Katamari being orbitted by angels and with some of the best video game music EVER (Na Na! Na na na na na na...KATAMARI DAMASHII!) blaring in the background. You make Dad proud and solve his drinking problem. All in a day's work for a pint-size Prince with EPIC aspirations.
3) What? My name is? Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (XBOX/PC)
Some people called it. Other people lied about calling it. Still other people just sat there with their mouths wide open. Any way you look at it, it was EPIC, and that's all I have to say about that.
2) Muted...FOREVER? Chrono Trigger (SNES)
So you're in the middle of this ancient magical city, really just chillin', and looking for this psycho hose beast of a queen, when this little blue-haired kid strolls by and calmly announces "The black wind howls...one of you will perish shortly." And you're all like "WTF?! You emo little brat!" Then you look more closely at your party and realize that, minus the spiked-hair red-headed mute guy (who just HAPPENS to be your main character), that you had a choice in your two other companions. So, yeah, basically the game just announced that the MAIN CHARACTER is going to die. You shrug it off. Yeah, right. That NEVER happens.
Flash forward to a battle that in any other game would be the final battle. It's you and this blue-haired kid all grown up and his hot sister and your own little possé against this spine-ridden shell with a beak that is a known destroyer of life as we know it. And so the main character decides to take a crack at him (bad decision) AND DISINEGRATES before your very eyes. HE'S DEAD. And you, as a player, is like "WTF". And your possé is like "WTF". And the only word that can describe it is EPIC.
(Then later you're reminded that you're in a time-travelling adventure and you can Marty McFly your way to getting your Doc...err, Mute, back. So it's all cool).
1) The Zebes Showdown Super Metroid (SNES)
It could possibly be the most EPIC final battle in video game history. Samus vs. Mother Brain in the most wanted rematch in galactical history. It had everything: nostalgia, fear, emotion...and Mother Brain on top of what looked like the Queen Alien's body. Just when it seemed that it was the end of Samus, the hatchling (not so hatchling-ish anymore) swoops in to save the day before sacrificing itself to give Samus the power she would need to finish off the Brain once and for all. And if that's not enough: you get a little heart-pounding race to the finish line before an exploding Zebes can avenge Mother Brain. Of course, you made it off, leaving a smoking hole in space in your wake. EPIC. MISSION. COMPLETED.
(And if you did it fast enough you got to see a pixelated Samus in a bikini! BONUS?)
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Anything else major that I missed?
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