Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

[Zeroth]

A guy walks in and asks the clerk if he can speak to the pharmacist, but the clerk tells him that the pharmacist is out. The guy says to the clerk,

"I have a really bad cough, is there anything you'd recommend?"

"Sure! follow me." says the clerk.

The clerk says to the guy, "Here, take this for your cough."

And so, the guy does what the clerk says. Some moments later the pharmacist walks, looks at a guy standing by the restroom and says to the clerk,

"What is his problem?"

[Zeroth]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

"Oh, him?" the clerk replied. "He came over to me asking to speak with you, but I told him you were out. He then asked me what I'd recommend for his really bad cough." he says to the pharmacist.

Curious, the pharmacist ask, "What did you give him?"

"A laxative" the clerk responds.

In total shock the pharmacist replies, "What! That's not going to help his cough!"

The clerk replies, "Sure it will. Look at him, he's afraid to cough! Hope I remembered all of that right.

[Biggie]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

Stop me if you've heard this one...

"There is this guy, and...... he gets all of his jokes from the internet."

Wheeeeew that one is a hoot and a holler!~

[Zeroth]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

Very funny....

I actually heard this joke from someone I know.

[Magik]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

Here's two short jokes and a long joke:

joke joke jooooke

[MRevelle83]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar.

Then they went into a hospital to help with the resulting concussion.

[Zeroth]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar.

Then they went into a hospital to help with the resulting concussion.

C'mon, you can do better than that!

[MRevelle83]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and gives herself to me twice a day."

The young man says, "Well then why are you crying!?"

The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"

[Zeroth]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

Now THATS funny!

[Duel]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it had a bad farmer.

[Kefka Jr.]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.

Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears. Says, "But Doctor... I am Pagliacci."

[Bon]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

A woman sees this old man rocking back and forth in his rocking chair.

She walks up to him and asks, "What's the secret?"

The man says, "I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day, drink a bottle of bourbon a week, and I eat what I want, when I want."

The woman asks, "Wow, so how old are you."

The man says, "26."

[Chad]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

Here's a dirty joke: Two white horses rolling in the mud.

[Zeroth]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

Those last two jokes are pretty funny, except for PostulateMan's.

People, don't post one-liners.

[Chad]

Re: Tell your funny jokes! (They're probably not that funny.)

Ok, fine. You want a long one? This next one is really long and sophisticated. Only a few people will get it.

A billionaire hires a contractor to build his summer home for him. He says to the contractor, "I will give you a million dollars on top of the price for supplies if you can build my house in one summer using exactly one million bricks."

The contractor agrees, ecstatic. He draws up the plans and gets his men to work. Two months into the summer and construction is going pretty well. He's used all the bricks and now just worries about finishing a few parts of the house that are incomplete.

The last day of summer rolls around and they've completed the house. The contractor is there making a last inspection when all of a sudden, at the bottom of the hill, he finds one last brick. He panics. He runs around the house trying to find a place for the brick. He puts it on the mantle, but it looks out of place. He uses it as a door stop but that just won't do. He hears the engine of the billionaire's car and he panics. He runs outside and see the man parking. With all of his might he cocks his arm back and throws the brick into the sky... and IT DOESN'T COME DOWN!