what do you think of family volenteering your contact info?

[Karr Lord of Chaos]

one of my personal pet peves is when close family volunteers me for things im not comfortable with. such as today, when my grandma gave my phone number to a distant relative so he could phone me for whatever twisted purpose.

not only do i not like speaking to any relatives, i dont like speaking to ones i do not know and have not known for 10 plus years. relatives are fine in a group setting like easter or thanksgiving, where you have a buffer of other relatives so you can escape one you may not like overly much. but being a captive audience to one, one who is particularly religious of some bizzar church (peoples church?) and a bit scary (unmarried older guy who lives alone), and works for a charity organization (salvation army) is just too much.

how the **** am i going to escape this? i am going to have a person i dont know phone me. worse, the guys son is a psychopath wanted by the cops for beating his gf, and his daughter is a crazy chick with other problems. i thought about just answering the phone and try to bow out gracefully through the entire awkward situation or perhaps i should try my personal favorite and just not answer the damn phone and let my grandma let him know that perhaps im not interested (which ive told her i really wasnt comfortable with this). sez has a habit of calling back every ****ing number that calls and asking why they phoned, most often getting a bewildered person who had accidentally phoned.

bottom line is i dont want anything to do with him, sound cold i know but im really not a social family oriented person. im not the least bit comfortable with any of this, im not interested in meeting people i dont know (i dont contact old friends for a reason), and im quite annoyed that my contact info would be given out so freely without thought given to me as to what id like to do.

what do you think i should do and what kind of situations like this have you been put in and how did you handle it?

[DK]

Re: what do you think of family volenteering your contact info?

Take it from someone who has a totally ****ed up extended family. If you ignore them and distance yourself they'll go away. Hang up whenever they call, stop talking to people who **** you over, etc. Once they know they can't get whatever they want from you by playing the family card they'll back off.

It'll only get worse if you don't.

[Jeroak Nelave]

Re: what do you think of family volenteering your contact info?

First, as much as i try to respect my elders, i would tell my grandmother off for giving out my contact info without my permission.

And once that person does call, i would just advise them that i have alot of personal stuff going on right now and i cant assist anyone else when i have my own problems (and you can make it up as you go, job, monetary, relationship, etc).

[Sezjeuric]

Re: what do you think of family volenteering your contact info?

i would tell my grandmother off for giving out my contact info without my permission.

Trust me on this, you can't be harsh with Ma Mere, his grandmother. She is one of the most soft spoken, sweet beings on this earth.

And in my defence, I haven't called back numbers we've missed in AGES!!! Last time I did this was on my cell phone a month ago, and it happened to be someone I was looking for.

Karr, you never answer the phone anyways, so stop sprainging your vagina over this.





OH BURN!!!





(it REALLY grills my goat how he ignores the phone, loooong story here)

[Stormy]

Re: what do you think of family volenteering your contact info?

(it REALLY grills my goat how he ignores the phone, loooong story here)

Oh please do. I like to here stories about Karr

P.S. Grills my goat. Haha, silly Canadians Is that like Canadian version of "Grinds my gears?" Or maybe grinds my gears is the american version of grills my goat! :o

[Sezjeuric]

Re: what do you think of family volenteering your contact info?

Not sure if it is Newfie thing more than a Canadian thing.... Newfies always say "Whatever floats yer boat" and I may have just put a twist on it.


Karr despises answering the phone unless it is my cell number, my work, or his mom/grandparents calling. I was fine with this for the first 6 months we lived together.... all the other calls were for me (friends or family) and what need did he have to speak to my family really.

Well, the problem first arose when he was looking for a placement with his apprenticeship program. He was sending his resume all over the internet and I faxed it for him too..... all of a sudden, Toronto phone #'s were popping up that I didn't recognize, and KNEW they were for him, and he still refused to answer. He was like, "If it is important, they will leave a message". I was taken aback by this, saying he was essentially trying to get a job and should be jumping at the chance to get any work, even volunteering stuff.

Things came to a head when my sister was rushed to the emergency room and had to go for sudden surgery. my mom was calling the house frantically to get ahold of me, and when I got home and listened to the 5th messgae of her screaming, "REGAN! I know you are there! PLEASE answer, it is an emergency!!" I was ******.

Yelling match ensued, and we came to an agreement. Karr learned how to listen to messages, and would answer the phone if it was a local number. (Mind you, that deal was made ages ago, and now if it rings, he'll still yell out "phone ringing!" and I am scremaing from the bathroom, "WELL FRIGGEN ANSWER IT YA PANSIE!!")

Anway, I don't want to hijack this topic. So to answer karr......

I don't think my own information has ever been given out, but I can see how it may irk me. I honestly don't think they will call, and if they do, I'll owe you another steak dinner, but only if you answer the call.

[Stormy]

Re: what do you think of family volenteering your contact info?

Holy crap, my dad is exactly the same way with the phone. He'll call out to people in the other room to answer the phone. He'll have his cell in his own damn pocket, it'll ring, and he'll hand it to someone else and say "Answer this." Even if he KNOWS its for him. WTF!!?!!?!??

P.S. I would be pretty ****** if someone did that to me. Like really ******. Especially because I have a hard time saying no to anyone asking a favor from me.

P.S.S. Maybe its your Canadian influence on Minnesota and Wisconsin, but we say that "Floats yer boat" thing to. I even catch myself saying "ay" or however you spell that. My sister visited Oklahoma and was asked if Wisconsin was in Canada

[Sezjeuric]

Re: what do you think of family volenteering your contact info?

Bah ha ha ha I also say "whatever butters yer bun"

Eh is spelt, well, like eh. Add it to any sentence when talking to someone, and it turns it into a question and gets the conversation going. That is why Canadians are so friendly, we rarely have awkward silence.

"How 'bout this weather eh?"
"Lord tunderin' jesus, I know. Tried going for a round on the green, but the damn grounds too soggy, eh?"
"Tell me about it. At least we have an excuse for the missus to not mow the lawn, eh?"

<clinking of Canadian beer bottles ensue>

"God, I could go for some bacon, eh?"


..................


How about I just :facepalm myself now?

[peachy]

Re: what do you think of family volenteering your contact info?

my phone rings and i jump to answer it because im always excited.

my friends and family have no qualms surrendering/volunteering my contact information should the occasion arise and im constantly under bombardment from numbers i dont know or recognize.

also op if you dont want to get involved with them or their problems or whatever just politely decline. dont even give a reason for declining, just say no thank you and be done with it.

[Karr Lord of Chaos]

Re: what do you think of family volenteering your contact info?

i have trouble saying no to people, mainly family. im not a very social person either so i also have difficulty hanging up on telemarketers since i like being polite and find being hung up on rude. i just adopted the same habit my mom would do, she would yell out "phone, get it," and id yell back, "no you get it." after a few seconds she would swear and rush over to catch the phone on the last ring.

its like the childhood games where you yell "not it," or like the opposite of shotgun. i really dont like using the phone as a communication device as i have a difficult time handling things over the phone (its awkward) and i rather do things face to face or through email or mail. i like to be prepared and the phone leaves me with gaps where im struggling to find information i need to continue the call.

haha, im very much my mothers son, perhaps too much so.