Horrible Movies.

[Duel]

From DVD to the big screen, bad movies are here to balance the order of life.

I hated Jason X and Freddy Vs. Jason.

I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Alien Vs. Predator movie in the works.

Meh. I'm sure you've guys seen some bad movies.

[Chrono]

Some recent movies that are on my all time worst list:

-Shoot Em Up
-Domino
-Ultraviolet

[Stormy]

- Six String Samurai
- Step Up franchise
- All dance/cheer squad movies

[Jamos]

Silent Hill
Resident Evil
Any "____ Movie"
Underworld 1 and 2
Man of the Year
House of a Thousand Corpses
Any Pokemon movie
Norbid
Etc.

[Karr Lord of Chaos]

if underworld sucked then why did you go see the second?

[Chuck]

(I liked Freddy vs. Jason.)

All those late-night movies on SciFi channel that look like the effects were done by freshman graphics majors
Any straight-to-video sequels of major movies
Anything by Uwe Boll
Chronicles of Riddick
Howard the Duck
White Chicks
Catwoman
Battlefield Earth
Blair Witch 2

[Jamos]

if underworld sucked then why did you go see the second?
My sister watches these movies over and over again. How could I not have seen it? :(

[Karr Lord of Chaos]

My sister watches these movies over and over again. How could I not have seen it? :(

by leaving the room? yea they really wernt that great, certainly not worth sitting through a second installment. your sister has crap taste.

[Jamos]

Agreed.

[Duel]

Alone in the Dark.

[Kit Carruthers]

Any "____ Movie"

Yeah.

As much as I usually don't like the movies they make fun of anyway, I just don't get their sense of humor at all. I really just don't get mainstream humor in general. So basically any comedy that isn't The Big Lebowski.

[Lord Cohliani]

Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Alien Vs. Predator

^!Skillz!^

:p

[Lausen]

I don't mind underworld... Two words, Kate Beckinsale!!!

Shoot em Up was so over the top I thought it was okay. Then again I watched it at like 5 in the morning after playing many hours of Unchartered. It was one of those moments when anything was funny. Otherwise I agree with most of them.

The Ringer
Epic Movie/ all of them movies. (Haven's seen Meet the Spartens yet?
Hmm, The Ringer, seriously it's the only movie I ever walked out of in theaters.

[Fushigi na Renamon]

I've always felt Van Helsing bit the big one.

The Brothers Grimm sucked too, but my friend and I had a good laugh at that one scene they ripped off from the Simpsons. :D

[Seraph]

Snakes on a Plane. I know it was all tongue in cheek, but it was still painful to watch.
And Hostel. That was the most pointless movie I have ever seen.

[Big Rick Cook]

Any straight-to-video sequels of major movies
Chronicles of Riddick
Howard the Duck
Blair Witch 2

I demand reasons for Riddick, Howard the Duck, and Blair Witch 2.

As for "any straight-to-video sequels of major movies," while that is a huge generalization, I can almost completely agree with you. Except for Wrong Turn 2. That movie was way better than the first, which wasn't really all that great.

[162]

Well, lesse...

-Step-Up series
-Alpha Dog (okay, I never saw it, but I could tell it's bad)
-Bicentennial Man (It was...interesting. I wouldn't say it was horrible, but I was bored most of the time)

My friend Ishtar says:
-Rocky and Bowinkel (Do you spell it like that?)
-8 Mile (I personally haven't seen it, but it's the same case as Alpha Dog)

[Big Rick Cook]

8-Mile is actually pretty entertaining, even though it's extremely dramatizing Eminem's life. And the fact that I don't care too much for Eminem. WHO DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.

[Chuck]

I demand reasons for Riddick, Howard the Duck, and Blair Witch 2.

As for "any straight-to-video sequels of major movies," while that is a huge generalization, I can almost completely agree with you. Except for Wrong Turn 2. That movie was way better than the first, which wasn't really all that great.

I'm just going by the ones I have seen. Wrong Turn 2 must be one of those exceptions that prove the rule.

As for CoR, I liked the necromongers even though that whole plot was just a emogothgeek's book report on the Cliff Notes of MacBeth. But they turned Riddick from a cool-azz antihero to an actual good guy and considering the theme was supposed to be about defeating evil with a "different kind of evil" I don't think it was even intentional.

Blair Witch 2 was just pedestrian writing. You saw every "scare" coming a mile away. Tell me the first time that barking dogs recording went off when they opened the door you didn't know they'd eventually open the door and *gasp* real dogs!!

Howard the Duck. It seems to be universally considered one of the worst movies ever. I'm not sure what was so bad about it, I haven't seen it. I mean I've watched it but I couldn't see anything through Lea Thompson's hair.

[Big Rick Cook]

"She took my eggs." Jeffrey Jones is a riot, man. I think you're a pale facade of a human. D=

Oh, and it's not like anyone here considers my movie taste as anything warranting respect, so I'm not terribly offended when people dislike movies that are among my favorites, like Blair Witch 2.

[Dreamknight]

Or X----awwwwwwww forget it!

I think Running With Scissors is the movie I hate the most.

And I loved Riddick, Chuck. Bad boy :(

[SirTMagus]

CRASH.

[Big Rick Cook]

You should clarify, Magus. It's bad manners otherwise.

Though I feel sure you're talking about the '04 trashfest, the '96 Cronenberg Crash is an awesome movie by virtue of its completely ****ED UP nature.

[Biggie]

Gone Baby Gone is a buttload of gay.

Darkness Falls.

Adam Sandler.

[SirTMagus]

Though I feel sure you're talking about the '04 trashfest, the '96 Cronenberg Crash is an awesome movie by virtue of its completely ****ED UP nature.
Indeed. I'm talking about 2004's Sandra Bullock is a Crazy ****** Hater.

A pointless, tiresome exercise that would feel more at home on the Lifetime network, right after Oprah Gets Her Douche On.

[Big Rick Cook]

Gone Baby Gone is a buttload of gay.

Darkness Falls.

Adam Sandler.

Gone Baby Gone was so god damn transparent. The acting wasn't horrible, but it just... STANK of Reindeer Games ideology. **** that movie.

[Stormy]

I think Howard the Duck is a classic, it was ****ing hillarious.

- Lords of Dogtown
- Anger Management
- 8 Crazy Nights
- 2001: A Space Odyssey (I'm basing this on the last 45 minutes, which was filled with 10 minutes of actual story, 25 minutes of waiting around, and a 10 minute acid trip at the very end that gave you no closure)
- Ice Runner

[Toaster]

Now see, I didn't mind Anger Management. Or any Adamn Sandler move for that matter--aside from Punch Drunk Love because I've no interest in it and Big Daddy just because it sucks. My favorite movies of his are the Wedding Singer and Reign Over Me. That one took me by complete surprise.

The only really really bad movies that I can say stay the **** away from even with a ten foot pole off the top of my head are:

Boogie Man
Cold Creek Manor

[Jamos]

Ugh... Boogie Man. How could I forget such a terrible movie? More importantly, why did I watch it? I guess I'll never know, but it was indeed the most stupid, lazy attempt to use a childhood monster. They could have tried to make it scarey... however, they went for lame. I guess it is so lame that it's scarey. :|

[Toaster]

I kept on waiting for something to happen but it never did. :(

And Cold Creek Manor is absolute torture to watch, the characters are the stupidest most oblivious people ever and the writing just hurts. I couldn't even finish the movie and I rarely do that.

Gummo isn't a horrible movie--but man does it make you feel dirty after watching it. Like you just wasted your time in a trailer park. Quite a messed up movie that one is. It has everything you could imagine and constatly outdoes itself in trashiness--from selling dead cats to chinese resturaunts to chair wrestling. It just... well, Highwind knows what I'm talking about. It's an experience to say the least.

[Chuck]

The only movie with Adam Sandler I've liked is Spanglish.

[Big Rick Cook]

Mm... Spanglish. I never really consider this an "Adam Sandler movie" though.

But I did enjoy it.

[Biggie]

Gone Baby Gone was so god damn transparent. The acting wasn't horrible, but it just... STANK of Reindeer Games ideology. **** that movie.

The movie had more fruity ass twists than a bag of twizzlers.

[Big Rick Cook]

Yes. It was plot twist hell, but that didn't change the fact that every. SINGLE. ****ING. twist was so obvious that I had the movie figured out in fifteen minutes, which I haven't been able to do with a movie since The Life of David Gale. But at least David Gale is entertaining.

[Sejon]

I found 2001: A Space Odyssey to be very entertaining until the 10-minute acid trip, so I still consider it, for the most part, a good movie.

[Libby]

I liked Howard the Duck. :( Then again, I was 12, and there is no accounting for taste.

Any movie that Uwe Boll directed. (I know Chuck already said this one, but I feel it is important to stress this point)
Dragon Wars (Although I did not see this one, I've seen enough online videos for me to determine this)
Darkest Knight
Biodome
The Grinch and The Cat in the Hat Live action movies.
Suspect Zero
Any horror movie that is rated PG-13. No good horror movie can be a horror movie without an R rating. (Although I did like AvP simply for the fangirl in me.)
Chronicles of Riddick--I think it would have been awesome if they had just kept Pitch Black. Because that movie was cool.

Edit- and I found a list! http://www.metacritic.com/video/lowscores.shtml

[Big Rick Cook]

Howard the Duck stays in my heart because it takes place in CLEVELAND. And Jeffrey Jones amuses me. And Tim Robbins. The movie is so dumb and goofy and irreverent that nostalgia wins out every time.

PG-13 horror movies, Libby, I can totally agree with.

[Dreamknight]

Any horror movie that is rated PG-13.


With exceptions, (http://www.impawards.com/1999/posters/sixth_sense_ver1.jpg) I hope. >[

[Big Rick Cook]

That one doesn't count as horror in my book. My book of misconceptions. =3

[Biggie]

No, The Sixth Sense is a movie that was good at the time, but you look back on as being totally gay.

[Libby]

I don't consider that a horror. Now, any movie that M. Night Shamalan made after Unbreakable. Yeah, those were horrible.

[Goufunaki]

i liked Signs up until the cheesy ending and seeing the alien in all it's bad computer generated glory.

[Biggie]

I KNOW.

I loved Signs up until that part.

Talk about a movie that was great until the end.

Signs is why I don't like Shamalan anymore.

[John Mora]

End of the Line

[Biggie]

Oh yes, and Wild Hogs.

I've never seen it.

But I just know these things.

[Chuck]

I liked The Village.

[Dreamknight]

SIXTH SENSE IS STILL GREAT AND SCARY AND YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF GAYS

:gay

[Jamos]

I agree with Dreamy on this one. Especially the gay part.

[Duel]

Stay Alive.

Stay Alive

STAY ALIVE!!!!!

[Big Rick Cook]

I actually laugh at Stay Alive in a weird sort of derisive way that nevertheless makes me want to watch it again at some future point in time.

Also, The Village was good. Because of Bryce Dallas Howard. Or whatever her name is.

[Riotsword]

Armageddon. Never mind the fact that I had to sit in the front row of a packed-ass movie theater with a gigundo screen that I actually had to crane my neck to see the other side of it, it was insipid. If it were a book, it'd be pulp. And not the cool kind of pulp that Tarantino made. "HAY GUYS WE CAN DRILL INTO A METEOR(even though we have no idea what material it's ****ing made of) AND PUT A BOMB IN IT!!!" And Ben Affleck and those fake-ass ultra-whitened teeth taking up sixty thousand miles of the screen, and the patronizing "Bruce Willis has to sacrifice himself to save humanity, cue teary-eyed farewell" scene. It also wasted Steve Buscemi.

Rob Zombie's Halloween. Yeah, like I really wanted to see 45 minutes of Michael Myers as a fruity kid bellowing like a crying fat kid as he beats some kid to death with a tree branch.

-or-

Yeah, like I really wanted to see a bunch of topless white-trash 16 year-olds getting dry-humped.

-or-

Yeah, like I really wanted to see small children screaming at the top of their lungs constantly until I wanted to find the nearest window and break it, then impale myself on the shards.

-or-

Yeah, like I really wanted to see Zombie channel the spirit of the 70s B-horror "classic" I Spit On Your Grave! and include a scene where a mentally-handicapped girl being raped by a couple of hillbilly ****tards while Michael, our protagonist/antagonist/whatever the **** he was watches.

This movie offended me in the worst way, and not even because of the sex, the gore, the violence, or the scene where Michael Myers kills some trucker who was getting ready to spank the monkey. It was just a god-awful mess of lame writing, horror stereotypes(but in a bad way), and Malcolm MacDowell wasting that really cool beard. It really shouldn't have gotten past the focus-group stage. I saw this flick for free and I wanted my money back.

[Red Dragon]

SIXTH SENSE IS STILL GREAT AND SCARY AND YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF GAYS

:gay

I AGREE.

I liked Shoot em Up. It was so over the top that it was a spoof on action movies.

Bad movies... Hmm...

Any movie where the protagonist is a 20-somthing year old douchebag.

[Libby]

I saw about the first 3/4ths of Shoot Em Up and then it got a bit too much.

Staying Alive counts as those PG-13 Teen Horror Flicks. None of them were any good. NONE of them. I could also include Scream and all it's rip-offs, but then I would prolly be speaking blasphamy

[Ivan Rosenguard]

It was already mentioned before, but the worst movie that sticks out in my mind as being out-and-out **** is Van Helsing. Maybe cause I saw it only recently, and turned off the DVD player 15 minutes in. I swear the script for that hodgepodge of classic horror novel characters was ripped from somebody's bad fan fiction. Hear that? It's Mary Shelley and Bram Stoker ROLLING IN THEIR GRAVES!

And my next bad movie choice is going to make many hate me:
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Pulp Fiction.
*Dodges things that are thrown*
I just don't like it. It just seems like a bunch of different stories put together in some semblance of a real plot. Now before you say anything, I realize that the movie is what it is. But you can't say that "this movie is supposed to be crap, so that makes it good" and pulp is crap, so Pulp Fiction, which is definitely meant to be pulp in movie form, is crap as well.

And then theres pretty much every comedy that's come out in the past 10 years. Have these people forgotten that a movie is supposed to be about the story? Even comedies should have a plot. But no, movies like Scary Movie/Date Movie/Epic Movie and anything Will Ferrell has been in (except for maybe Stranger Than Fiction, which wasn't fantastic, but it wasn't awful) are more about seeing how many jokes and gags we can cram into two-and-a-half hours. Bleh.

[Seraph]

I liked Stranger Than Fiction. Talladega Nights is the worst comedy I've ever seen.

[highwind]

Pulp Fiction.
*Dodges things that are thrown*
I just don't like it. It just seems like a bunch of different stories put together in some semblance of a real plot. Now before you say anything, I realize that the movie is what it is. But you can't say that "this movie is supposed to be crap, so that makes it good" and pulp is crap, so Pulp Fiction, which is definitely meant to be pulp in movie form, is crap as well.

Pulp Fiction is a brilliantly shot, editted, and written tale of the struggle of man. I don't mean "mankind" i mean men. Machismo. That is the plot. It's just not spoonfed to you like most films.

It also has one of the best soundtracks of any film. And is brilliantly cast.

It's unequivocally one of the greatest films of the last 25 years.

[John Mora]

What if you don't really like the genres of music or artists represented on the soundtrack?

[highwind]

What if you don't really like the genres of music or artists represented on the soundtrack?

What if you're lactose intolerant and therefore hate ice cream?

You're a crumb bum either way.

Crumb bum.

Regardless of your taste in music - the soundtrack of Pulp Fiction perfectly speaks to the tone, tensions and pacing of its scenes.

[Duel]

Madagascar!

I mean, coooommmmmeee ooooooon.

[SirTMagus]

Pulp Fiction is a brilliantly shot, editted, and written tale of the struggle of man. I don't mean "mankind" i mean men. Machismo. That is the plot. It's just not spoonfed to you like most films.

It also has one of the best soundtracks of any film. And is brilliantly cast.

It's unequivocally one of the greatest films of the last 25 years.
Thank god for you, Highwind!

http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t83/sirtmagus2/the-green-goblin.jpg

[Kit Carruthers]

Pulp is crap?

Yeah! ****in pulp... Why would anybody use pulp as symbolism unless they're crap and they're trying to symbolize the crappy nature of crap.

****ing crap. I'm with you. I hate crap and I hate pulp. Damn crappy crap.

[Jamos]

Staying Alive counts as those PG-13 Teen Horror Flicks. None of them were any good. NONE of them. I could also include Scream and all it's rip-offs, but then I would prolly be speaking blasphamy
Teen horror flicks are usually bad regardless of the rating. You see one group of stupid teens running for their lives you've seen them all. And of course, they never pick up weapons or stick together so they can stand a fighting chance. :|

[162]

Wait, wait, I remember this one Pierce Bronson/Dennis Leery flick I didn't like! It was called The Tom Crown Affair or something like that. EIther way, it was among the worst films I've ever seen!

[Big Rick Cook]

From the vague memories I have of The Thomas Crown Affair, I remember that it was pretty much just Bond without the glitz and style.

[SirTMagus]

If Dennis Leary's in a movie it's bound to suck.

[Big Rick Cook]

UNLESS it's The Sandlot. Or Judgment Night.

[162]

UNLESS it's The Sandlot. Or Judgment Night.

Wait, Dennis Leary was in The Sandlot? What part did he play?

[Big Rick Cook]

Stepfather. Or something. I dunno. His role isn't important in the movie, but I'm contradicting Magus, and that's like... the most important thing I could ever do, except apparently wage war against RD and Lord Cohliani.

[Chrono]

Ravenous, saw it on IFC the other night. What a piece of crap. I've been wanting to see if for awhile, its about cannibalism with Guy Pierce and Robert Carlyle, sounds great right? Banjos accompanying a chase scene doesn't seem to agree with that assessment.

[SirTMagus]

Stepmom.

Feel like watching a manipulative sapfest for the rest of your life?

Hell, it's so long, I'm still watching.

It tore my reality in two.

[Toaster]

Can someone tell me why we need to have two topics where we talk about bad movies? This is just stupid.

I did not know that the word "abhor" and "horrible" were that far apart.

[Big Rick Cook]

Well, considering that "abhor" is a verb and indicates active hate, and "horrible" is an adjective to describe a movie that you might not necessarily hate but still know to be a horrible movie, I mean, yeah, the topics have no reason to be separated.

[Red Dragon]

the most important thing I could ever do, except apparently wage war against RD and Lord Cohliani.

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/3587219/2/istockphoto_3587219_white_flag_with_clipping_path.jpg

[Big Rick Cook]

That was easy.

[162]

Stepfather. Or something. I dunno.

That was him?....Oh hey, it was! I remeber now!

Huh, go figure.

[Big Rick Cook]

Yeah. How awesome is my movie recall. I'm awesome. Yeah.