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    #1

    This post is my second and a better than my first

    OK after reading the posts about my article i decided to put it a little better.Ok the plot is, you are a hero called Yaron, and you are a titan trained by his father in the town of Drakon which is on a frosted tip of a mountain secluded by trees. Your companion, a witch doctor from a village nearby the town of Drakon. On your journeys you encounter a hyper dog who joins your party. You must defeat the boss who is (model Dark night) who is known as the devil You can only fight him if you have the devil card he is in a dungeon guarded from level 50 monsters (orc model 2).
    Love is not something that can be bought it starts small like a seed and as two loving souls cherish the bond they share with one another only then can it blossom into a rose which in itself is as beautiful as love.
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    #2
    Re: This post is my second and a better than my first

    Sounds a bit generic.

    Comment

      #3
      Re: This post is my second and a better than my first

      Uh I'm only in sixth grade whats generic?
      Love is not something that can be bought it starts small like a seed and as two loving souls cherish the bond they share with one another only then can it blossom into a rose which in itself is as beautiful as love.

      Comment

        #4
        Re: This post is my second and a better than my first

        "Generic means pertaining or appropriate to large classes or groups as opposed to specific members of the group."

        so its like too big of a scope, not enough detail or definition.

        Thank you Ωbright for the sig fix!
        Card Three is released! You can find it here!

        Comment

          #5
          Re: This post is my second and a better than my first

          ok well then ill make another one sorry :{
          Love is not something that can be bought it starts small like a seed and as two loving souls cherish the bond they share with one another only then can it blossom into a rose which in itself is as beautiful as love.

          Comment

            #6
            Re: This post is my second and a better than my first

            nonono

            just put details in it, flesh it out. give us something more then a broad view. i understand your age level will impact your writing maturity, but i know you can put some details in there to make the game into something more personal. right now it sounds like an idea on the table awaiting to be assigned a story to it.

            give us the story detail, what will be in your game, what conflicts they will face, promote your game, tell us why we should be interested in your future creation.

            Thank you Ωbright for the sig fix!
            Card Three is released! You can find it here!

            Comment

              #7
              Re: This post is my second and a better than my first

              Why thank you. Thats the first kind word I have seen.I added you tell me if you want me to delete
              Last edited by impcast95; 01-03-2008, 12:11 AM. Reason: bad grammer
              Love is not something that can be bought it starts small like a seed and as two loving souls cherish the bond they share with one another only then can it blossom into a rose which in itself is as beautiful as love.

              Comment

                #8
                Re: This post is my second and a better than my first

                Listen. Im thirteen and i had many ideas for games. but they where never made. just check my game fourm....

                just put a detailed story and i might help you on it.

                pm me if your interrested in me

                simps!
                Ga ga ga ga ga ga ga ga gao gai gar!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Re: This post is my second and a better than my first

                  OH MY GOD IMPCAST DO NOT LISTEN TO SIMPLEMAN!!!

                  HE WILL BRING YOU DOWN MAN!!!

                  HE WILL BRING YOU DOWN!!!
                  "Dans le veritable amour c'est l'ame, qui enveloppe le corps"

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Re: This post is my second and a better than my first

                    [COLOR="Red"]Ok dude but i thought you... HATED me after my first post????? HeHe well thanks for the advice.
                    Love is not something that can be bought it starts small like a seed and as two loving souls cherish the bond they share with one another only then can it blossom into a rose which in itself is as beautiful as love.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Re: This post is my second and a better than my first

                      I am back
                      Last edited by impcast95; 01-03-2008, 02:35 PM.
                      Love is not something that can be bought it starts small like a seed and as two loving souls cherish the bond they share with one another only then can it blossom into a rose which in itself is as beautiful as love.

                      Comment

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