Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

[Chad]

Yup. Compliments to the chef. I'm ready to play it through for the first time! I think I got approximately nowhere when I rented back when it came out. Many thanks.

Oh, and he told me not to tell anyone, but screw that. There is a soul deep down in there.

[Valkysas]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

... sideburns

[IRC]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

Backstory. Months ago I mistakenly bought two copies of Vagrant Story(although it was literally five minutues between each other) So after years of telling Postulate ManI would send him one of them I finally decided I'd better do it.

The funny thing is that I had to make two attempts because the first time I was at the counter and just about to send it off when luckily I checked to make sure the CD was in it and found that I was going to send him Brave Fencer Musashi. Well I'm not that nice of a guy so I had to dig through my stuff and find the right CD. And since everything is still boxed up in storage I'm not sure if I sent him the extra copy or my copy so I have may not even have one for me anymore.

[Chad]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

Aw, shucks.

[Kefka Jr.]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

HOORAY

SPREAD THE GOSPEL

[Perversion]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

Backstory. Months ago I mistakenly bought two copies of Vagrant Story(although it was literally five minutues between each other) So after years of telling Postulate ManI would send him one of them I finally decided I'd better do it.

The funny thing is that I had to make two attempts because the first time I was at the counter and just about to send it off when luckily I checked to make sure the CD was in it and found that I was going to send him Brave Fencer Musashi. Well I'm not that nice of a guy so I had to dig through my stuff and find the right CD. And since everything is still boxed up in storage I'm not sure if I sent him the extra copy or my copy so I have may not even have one for me anymore.

Your chronology confuses me....

[IRC]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

One is accurate the other is an exageration to describe just how long I've been stringing him along with promises of PSX games.

[Jamos]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

$24.99?! Someone got ripped off. I got mine for 10 bucks.... though that was some time ago. Maybe I should wait a few minutes before I start laughing at IRC. Oh, and it was about time you spread the love over to PostulateMan! Poor guy had to wait forever!

[IRC]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

No no no no no no. It was 10% off of $24.99. Clearly a huge savings opportunity.

[Jamos]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

OH, MY BAD!

[Toaster]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

DID YOU CHARGE HIM OR ARE YOU JUST A NICE GUY

[Magus]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

This topic should be a chronicle of your adventure through Lea Monde.

[Chad]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

Ask and you shall receive.

WARNING! SPOILER HEAVY!

Ashley runs head first into this castle. BAM! It practically crumbled. This alerted the guards. Guards who started wailing on me at first because I had no idea I was in battle and no idea how to attack. After Ashley disposed of them, he charged into the castle, only to find Sydney AKA the Heartbreaker. He stared Ashley down with his cold, lifeless eyes, blew kisses, and then jumped out a window.

Flash forward. Now we are hot on the trail of Sydney in Lea Monde. The "smoothed" pixels of the PS3 display gorgeous blocks of scenery as Ashley and Girl discuss the Heartbreaker. Ashley has had about enough women and enough talking about feelings, so he goes straight into Lea Monde. As stealth as Ashley is, he is found by two clumsy idiots who come looking for a fight. Ashley strikes the head mostly, occasionally going after their sword arms. Wow. It all seems so simple right now. Their move can be slowed by attacking their legs.

Now GRIMOIRE it's time to venture GRIMOIRE forth and find whatever it is GRIMOIRE that'll make the door open. After fighting a crapton of bats and wolves, we finally get to the minotaur. Fierce. He charges and charges. He hurts Ashley for more health than he cares to get hurt for. So Ashley circles around him, striking the legs and occasionally the head. The minotaur soon falls.



Ok, it's time to leave. Or is it? Sydney claps for Ashley, realizing he's pretty much a bad ass to end all bad assery. However, Heartbreaker has one power he likes to flaunt. Looking longingly into Ashley's soul and crushing him emotionally. Finally, some memories. Also some complexity. Ashley "remembers" how to chain attacks together and actually block. Yay! So now he gets to backtrack a little bit through even MORE bats and wolves.

Ashley arrives back at the door and what do you know, the tea-bag of justice opens the door. Inside, some poor sod coughs up what looks like chocolate syrup. He musta been real ****** about it too because then he got up and started swinging at Ashley. He has none of that and dashes his brains from his skull. Next! In the next room three more angry people get up and start swinging. Wait a second! They're not angry at all, they're living dead! Ashley shows no remorse for them. He stands where they cannot swing back and knocks at their heads.

After they die... again... Ashley continues only to find some magical armor walking around on its own. Not to be made a fool, he attacks the armor over and over again at the abdomen. After quite a few cure roots and a lot of heavy hittin' chain attacks, the armor is about ready to fall to the ground. Ashley's life is on the fritz so he hits triangle. Twice. In the excitement he hits triangle twice. This brings him into the menu and right back out, where the armor swings his sword with delight. And strength. Ashley dies.

Ashley dies and Chad gets ****** off and puts the game down because the last save point was a little while ago.

[TheHonorableRyu]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

This topic gets Ashley Riot's hallmark seal of approval!

[Chad]

Re: Stop the presses! IRC does something nice!

WARNING AGAIN! SUPER SPOILERS!

So Ashley has to kill all the zombies again. No biggie. He's sporting an axe and is prepared to tear head from body in order to get Heartbreaker. He quickly tears through zombies that seem oh so familiar. (Thank you for the start button.) Then the annoying screech of metal dragging along the floor rings loud. Ashley looks to the corner and alas, armor moving by itself. It cannot be! As it prepares some sort of magic, Ashley just shakes his head, charges forward and goes straight for the abdomen. Chaining attack upon attack whilst never properly defending against the armor, Ashley cracks that armor open as it falls to the ground.

There are many more rooms for Ashley to conquer. After plundering a nearby chest, he begins to head through uncharted territory. The undead become a nuisance. Ashley renders them limb from limb. Easily at first, and then with frustratingly low damage and lots of misses. Is this how risk work? He wonders because no one has ever told him. Just as with the Grimoires.

Now Ashley goes to open a door. It's rusted. For some CRAZY reason he thinks to himself, only an earthquake could open that. Ha! As if that's ever going to happen, right? That's when the phantom appeared. As he appeared, it seemed as if the castle was shaking. The phantom put up a good fight. He stayed his distance so Ashley could almost never attack and used hard hitting magic. If Ashley didn't hide around the corner and wait to pounce, he surely could have died. But he did. Phantom defeated. He checks the door at the end of the hall, but it's rusted so he turns back.

Now, the rust on the other door hadn't worn off, but somehow the rust on the door he had checked earlier has. Must be some sort of GRIMOIRE!!!!! magic going on in this place. Wandering around, room by room, he searches for Heartbreaker. He slays pitiful undead after pitiful undead. He rips lizardmen apart. Ashley is un-****ing-stoppable. Does he tear through giant, magical rock golems, though?

HELL YES HE DOES! You don't get a name like Ashley Riot skipping through flower fields and having picnics... You get it by equipping a spear and just letting loose massive chained attacks. You get it by crumbling a golem with ease.

Ashley runs back through the castle. He knows where he must go. He saw it in a cut-scene. He goes as fast as he can, slicing and impaling enemies on his way. He reaches the room and looks up a large wall. He tries to jump up, but it's just far too high to reach. But alas, there are boxes nearby. He tries to lift one but it's far too heavy, so he smashes it to bits in a fit of rage. He stares the one below it down. He stares it so hard and so furious it knows to let itself be lifted. He grabs the box and places it across the room. This gives him a platform from which to jump up and he just barely reaches and lifts himself up. He then takes the magical platform across the chasm. But what's awaiting him on the other side but a lizardman. He readies his spear and forces it through him. "Move aside," he jokes as he tosses the body to his left. He opens the door ahead of him.

As he walks through the room, a large dragon awakes. The dragon, which had been brought upon him by Sydney the Heartbreaker, was cranky. Ashley had awoken him from a deep slumber in which he was having loud, earth-rumbling sex with the pretty little wyrm of his dreams. He spit fire upon him, immolating Ashley. Ashley was not happy about this. He readied a spear, cast some life-saving magic and started by stabbing the dragon in his chest, just to let him know he was about to feel immense pain. He ran circles around the dragon, cutting at his neck. The dragon turn his body and whipped his tail. Although it weighed a great many pounds and swung with great force, Ashley took it to the chest and laughed at the dragon. Play time was over. He thrust his spear into the dragons face over and over again; sometimes draining his life, sometimes practicing his spearsmanship. With a heavy thrust, the dragon roared, keeled over and died.

Ashley decided to take a break.