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    Here goes nothin.......

    So, after about 2 months or so, I've finally decided to see if my research and planning has paid off. I've played RPGM3 before so I know how to use it pretty well (and I've read pretty much every major thread on this site, thanx for all of the tips everyone throws out there), but now I'm ready to sit down and put a game together. Actually, I'm kinda intimidated; guys like Obright (creative genius, as far as I can tell), Crythania, Pagerron, all those guys have made games that make me feel....well, small in a certain respect. Anyways, here's my game........

    At the start of the game you are Yulemo, a young man who has no family left. You've joined a group of rebels who are fighting against the tyrannical Emperor Surrega von Yarha, who took control of the entire planet of Aeramaya and placed into affect the "Civilian Conformity Edict." Basically, it states that twice a year every single settlement on the planet must send all of their able-bodied men to join the Emperor's army. If any town refuses to abide by the CCE (Civilian Conformity Edict, obviously), the entire population of that town is enslaved and the town itself is burned. Harsh.

    Of course, some people didn't like this and decided to rebel. The first land to do so was Tuoly, where Yulemo begins. He's in a rebel camp north of his hometown, Ilem, which is now just a heaping mound of rubble. The rebels' plan is to make their way south to the Mother Castle, which holds control of Tuoly. On his journey he meets two great warriors with dark pasts, Ikaris and Aristot. They don't reveal much about theirselves, except for the fact that they are somehow related (to be revealed later in the game, of course).

    The three travel to all seven lands, destroying the Mother (and Father, on some lands) Castles, eventually making their way to Fidara, home of the Emperor. After defeating the Emperor, however, the three learn something disturbing (not gonna say ANYTHING about this, as it is a major twist).

    So that's a small glimpse of the story. There's a LOT more to it, but I can't really give that away.....

    As I said there are seven lands, some connected to others, some solitary, floating in the ocean. There's Tuoly of course, which is actually a wasteland because of Imperial ravaging (there's also a deadly virus carried by one of the enemies). To the east is another wasteland, Molu. South of Molu is Lajamon, an exotic rainforest/jungle land filled with treachery and great dangers. Northeast of Lajamon, yet not connected directly (you gotta take a ship to get there), is Tilmoran, an archipelago of 6 islands, all connected by ferries. That is where the first major turning point occurs. Next is Olizuun, a vast desert land to the Northwest of Tilmoran (again, gotta take a boat). Olizuun is a land of mystery and of great peril (it's a desert, for gosh sake). Another major turning point occurs here. To the north (boat, again) is Leyum, another wasteland that actually has a lot of entertainment. Connected to Leyum to the southeast is Fidara, a grassland with a lot of evil. Whew...

    I'm planning to avoid random encounters for the most part, mixing them in in certain areas only. I want to try and find a good mix between story and fighting (lots of boss fights), as well as sidequests and minigames. As i mentioned, most of this stuff is already planned out: weapons, armor, accessories, enemies, bosses, characters, yada yada yada. I just gotta get the actual game now.............

    I'd like to here some feedback, see if this sounds like a cool idea. I'm probably gonna make it even if people say it stinks, but criticism is always good to hear.

    I hope this wasn't too long..........

    #2
    Re: Here goes nothin.......

    Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
    At the start of the game you are Yulemo, a young man who has no family left. You've joined a group of rebels who are fighting against the tyrannical Emperor Surrega von Yarha, who took control of the entire planet of Aeramaya and placed into affect the "Civilian Conformity Edict." Basically, it states that twice a year every single settlement on the planet must send all of their able-bodied men to join the Emperor's army. If any town refuses to abide by the CCE (Civilian Conformity Edict, obviously), the entire population of that town is enslaved and the town itself is burned. Harsh.
    Very.

    THE NAMES: When I read that the main character's name is Yulemo, I was slightly shocked, and at the same time informed that normal names are not the norm. Emperor Surrega von Yarha is an AWESOME name. I like the idea of the "CCE". Very interesting...

    Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
    Of course, some people didn't like this and decided to rebel. The first land to do so was Tuoly, where Yulemo begins. He's in a rebel camp north of his hometown, Ilem, which is now just a heaping mound of rubble. The rebels' plan is to make their way south to the Mother Castle, which holds control of Tuoly. On his journey he meets two great warriors with dark pasts, Ikaris and Aristot. They don't reveal much about theirselves, except for the fact that they are somehow related (to be revealed later in the game, of course).
    Aristotle? Yay!

    Tuoly? Likeable...

    Ilem? Wow... weird names.

    Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
    The three travel to all seven lands, destroying the Mother (and Father, on some lands) Castles, eventually making their way to Fidara, home of the Emperor. After defeating the Emperor, however, the three learn something disturbing (not gonna say ANYTHING about this, as it is a major twist).

    So that's a small glimpse of the story. There's a LOT more to it, but I can't really give that away.....
    Father Castles? What are their relationships the thier Mother Castles?

    Fidara? Nice to here something a little more... tame?

    Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
    As I said there are seven lands, some connected to others, some solitary, floating in the ocean. There's Tuoly of course, which is actually a wasteland because of Imperial ravaging (there's also a deadly virus carried by one of the enemies). To the east is another wasteland, Molu. South of Molu is Lajamon, an exotic rainforest/jungle land filled with treachery and great dangers. Northeast of Lajamon, yet not connected directly (you gotta take a ship to get there), is Tilmoran, an archipelago of 6 islands, all connected by ferries. That is where the first major turning point occurs. Next is Olizuun, a vast desert land to the Northwest of Tilmoran (again, gotta take a boat). Olizuun is a land of mystery and of great peril (it's a desert, for gosh sake). Another major turning point occurs here. To the north (boat, again) is Leyum, another wasteland that actually has a lot of entertainment. Connected to Leyum to the southeast is Fidara, a grassland with a lot of evil. Whew...
    Tuoly? (Unique)
    Molu? (Like it)
    Lajamon? (Umm... Nothing Special to report...)
    Tilmoran? (Weird names. Are you sure you haven't gone a little overboard?)
    Olizuun? (Are these names just random collections of syllables?)
    Leyum? (Bearable)
    Fidara? (Love it.)

    I like the idea of an archipelago connected by ferries.
    If the evil grassland is scary, I love it.
    Deserts are not always mysterious and perilous (Blatantly ignores every single RPG desert ever made).
    Is the virus carried intentionally? What enemies?

    Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
    I'm planning to avoid random encounters for the most part, mixing them in in certain areas only.
    Your Pavilion Popularity has just increasesd by 50%! (That would be of the Pavilion, mind you,)

    Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
    I want to try and find a good mix between story and fighting (lots of boss fights), as well as sidequests and minigames. As i mentioned, most of this stuff is already planned out: weapons, armor, accessories, enemies, bosses, characters, yada yada yada. I just gotta get the actual game now.............
    I like minigames...
    And mostly boss fights is generally better than very few.

    Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
    I'd like to here some feedback, see if this sounds like a cool idea. I'm probably gonna make it even if people say it stinks, but criticism is always good to hear.
    You have just heard feedback!

    Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
    I hope this wasn't too long..........
    Read some of Crythania's posts.


    SUMMARY:

    I think it sounds quite interesting, if barren and battle intensive. It's great if you can strike a balance between story and battles, but it seems as if the story is about battles...

    You also seemed to go overboard with unique names. By the end of the description, the same old unique (And oxy-moronic!) names got a little stale.
    Perhaps more names like Fidara?
    Final Exams are not a good time to attempt to get back into a site. ^_^;

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Here goes nothin.......

      Did I just triple post? I'm so sorry!
      Last edited by Hikari no Kaze; 07-16-2007, 02:36 AM.
      Final Exams are not a good time to attempt to get back into a site. ^_^;

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Here goes nothin.......

        My thoughts:

        Having too many complicated names could be a problem. Your players should be able to name all the important people and locations in your game off the top of their head, which means simplicity is the key. Some of your names just sound ugly, when they should flow out of your mouth easily. If you feel the names really add to the flavor and the atmosphere, then by all means. But having tongue-twisters just for the sake of tongue-twisters is bad, bad design.

        As for the story, nothing really jumps off the page for me. It's stock and basic, with nothing that makes me say "Gosh, I'll have to play this."

        Also,

        So that's a small glimpse of the story. There's a LOT more to it, but I can't really give that away.....
        This phrase is the #1 mistake made by game makers. See my topic "Sell your game".

        Oh, and having to destroy a castle in each of the seven areas sounds very repetitve. You might want to consider some variety. A simple change in locale could make a lot of difference.
        Ryner's Games

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        Monster Must Die - Winner: Halloween Horror Contest - Click Here!

        All you need to play is a computer, no outside program necessary!

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Here goes nothin.......

          Hey Jeff,

          It sounds pretty good and well thought out so far. Although you've mentioned a lot of story and very little about the gameplay.

          I like the unique names. They're interesting. You should see some of the names for countries, towns, and stuff that I've come up with. Some are pretty wild.

          The best advice I can give is to make a game that you'd like to play. Make it for you. It sounds like you're gonna do that. That's the best way to go.

          Best of luck to you with this project. I hope it turns out well.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Here goes nothin.......

            Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
            "Civilian Conformity Edict." Basically, it states that twice a year every single settlement on the planet must send all of their able-bodied men to join the Emperor's army. If any town refuses to abide by the CCE (Civilian Conformity Edict, obviously), the entire population of that town is enslaved and the town itself is burned. Harsh.
            Will all due respect to the women, how can the towns funtion without the able-bodied men? Those towns are probabbly going to be 80% female. What's more, with half the workforce gone, the economy would collapse, especially if the farms are untended. They're would be starvation everywhere (unless, of course, the women had done all the work before this Edict was passed).

            Would be a good reason for a rebellion, though.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Here goes nothin.......

              Thanks for the feedback guys, all of it is very helpful.

              Well, I really don't wanna give away too much here, because there is an EXTREME twist at the end. It seems pretty basic, but if I were to tell you the whole story, it would ruin it. Thanks for bringing it up, though.

              As for the names, yeah, they're pretty out there. If you knew the whole story, though, it would sorta make sense.

              Now that I've gotten feedback (a lot more than expected), I'll get to making the game.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Here goes nothin.......

                Dusk has a very good point. I would suggest having it be half of all men in each village. Unless that conflicts with your twist.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Here goes nothin.......

                  Sorry for double post, there's some stuff I neglected to add....

                  Oh, and having to destroy a castle in each of the seven areas sounds very repetitve. You might want to consider some variety. A simple change in locale could make a lot of difference.
                  You're correct. Well, not ALL of the lands have castles (Olizuun doesn't). Also, the castles themselves aren't going to be MASSIVE dungeons, just easily navigable ones that focus more on the boss fight (the actual person that holds control over that particular territory). I guess you're still right though....maybe I'll change the whole castle thing....Thanxs, Ryner.

                  how can the towns funtion without the able-bodied men? Those towns are probabbly going to be 80% female.
                  The Emperor doesn't care how his populace fares, he's that evil. Uh, slight spoiler here....he's not being so tyrannical on his own....

                  Crythania, I'm honored that you even responded to my post. Thanx for the comments.

                  And Hikari, thanx A TON for the criticism, and review, i guess. It helps a lot. As I get more done on the game, I'll add periodic updates.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Here goes nothin.......

                    Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
                    The Emperor doesn't care how his populace fares, he's that evil.
                    More like insane. Keep in mind, though, that people are evil for a reason. Why is your Emperor evil?

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Here goes nothin.......

                      Well, he's evil because *SPOILER* he's actually under a form of mind-control.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Here goes nothin.......

                        I would ask something else, but:

                        1. It would lead to a spoiler

                        2. It could lead to a "if the chicken hatched out of the egg, what laid the egg?" kind of thing.

                        BTW: if you click the SP button, it will wrap the selected text in a spoilers tag.

                        *** SPOILERS ***
                        Like this.
                        *** END SPOILERS ***
                        Last edited by Dusk Raven; 07-16-2007, 10:05 PM.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Here goes nothin.......

                          I understand, Dusk Raven. Thanx for the tip too; I just came to the pavilion yesterday.

                          I'm gonna start working on the game tomorrow (hopefully), so as soon as I get a demo made I'll post of complete...uh....outline, I guess, of the whole story, just so everything comes together. If I did that now, though, it would completely ruin the game.

                          As far as gameplay goes, I'm gonna add lots of hidden things into random places on each map. I'm not quite sure what they're gonna do yet.....but they'll be there. I'm definetly gonna add lots of sidequests and minigames, leave random battles out for the most part (I've already said all this stuff, oh well). I still need to figure out how I'm going to make the game unique, aside from its story and whatnot. It'll all come to me as I'm making the game, I hope.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Here goes nothin.......

                            What you've given us is very generic. Without delving into detail, game ideas tend to sound redundant and similar. That being said, your story has strong potential to deviate from the norm. As it is clear that you have twists planned for your plot, I'm sure you have a general idea of where your story is going to go. This will greatly decrease the overwhelming workload of making your game.

                            The one thing to remember about storyline: It is always okay to use cliches and old ideas, but the key is to present them in a way that gives the illusion that they are new and fresh. This leads me to my next point.

                            Originally posted by Jigga Jeff View Post
                            The three travel to all seven lands, destroying the Mother (and Father, on some lands) Castles, eventually making their way to Fidara, home of the Emperor. After defeating the Emperor, however, the three learn something disturbing (not gonna say ANYTHING about this, as it is a major twist).
                            This could work very well, or very poorly, depending on the way this is carried out in-game. Many view this as redundant and overdone. You must take this into account when designing this aspect of the game. Make sure to vary the styles of these dungeons greatly, include cutscenes as well as character development, and make sure there is more than just going in and defeating a boss.

                            Contrary to what many believe, the purpose of a dungeon in an RPG is not always to provide the player with a challenge. It is best designed as a challenge to the characters. There are obstacles that the characters need to overcome, not so much the player. For example, the Zelda games' dungeons (as fun as they are) would never work in an RPG because they don't offer anything more than puzzles and battles. An RPG is about the characters and their interactions with each other, and thus there needs to be a certain amount of this in a dungeon as well as a town.

                            Sorry if I digressed a bit, but this is important to keep in mind when working with an idea that has been done many times before. Just make sure there is more to the dungeons than just doing them to beat the boss. Make them worth the effort in terms of story. This will make them original, new, and fresh as there are nuances that isolate your ideas from the common stereotypes of the genre.

                            Good luck in working on and completing your project.
                            His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Here goes nothin.......

                              Well Chronicle, what you said was pretty much what I was thinking, but I really thank you pointing it out in great detail. You make a great point by saying to make cliches sound new, and I've always had that in the back of my mind. thanx a bunch, man. I'll keep what you said with me at all times when I'm makin the game.

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