Lost and found.

[IRC]

Hey everyone, post things that got lost in the reset.

I put this in the picture spam topic.

[Toaster]

Re: Lost and found.

I put this in the religion topic, but someone obviously didn't like it because it was deleted shortly thereafter.

[altoecko]

Re: Lost and found.

Booyakasha!

In the beginning, there was a large mass of awesome. Then it took form and I burst from the womb. No, in all seriousness. I joke and laugh about everything because sometimes it's the only thing that can keep me afloat. Life is a quagmire of depression if you don't tread water. I realized what I believe to be life's universal truth a long time ago. Life is for living. It sounds so simple, but is it truly? People spend their lives worshiping some deity, partying away their pain, or just finding another escape from life. I wish people would stop running from life, it's a beautiful thing deep down. Sure it's outside is scarred and ugly, but so was Frankenstein, and much the same I'm sure life didn't ask to be so ugly. It just made the best of what was given to it. I would hope you do the same. I say all this so that I may tie my choices to one single ideal: Life is the most f'ing amazing thing in the world, but it is cold and ugly if you don't get to know it.

My mother and father are great people. They have made mistakes but all humans do. I love them greatly and I believe in my heart that they have truly learned from their mistakes. My mother here made a choice for me and my brother. When we were younger she would do whatever she could in her power to give us whatever we wanted. She worked double jobs multiple shifts and we went from home to home. I loved it, I don't know if my brother was quite as enthusiastic about it though. My brother would always ask for more from my mother, and she would give him anything he wanted. I didn't ask for much, despite us always having the best of what we need. I didn't ask because I saw my mother tired and worn out from getting these things for us. I remember one Christmas, I did one the cruelest and stupidest things I've ever done in my life. My mother worked her heart out for me and my brother's Christmas and after I opened all my presents and looked at everything I got, do you know what I asked? "Is there more?" I was young, but that is no excuse for such ignorance of others feelings. My brother slapped me in the back of the head and my mother started frantically trying to find out what I wanted, she would drive and buy it for me right then. She loved me so much that she would do that for me. That's love. When you would give everything you have for someone, and even more if you had it. That is truly love. It took me many years to learn wrong from right, but I thank my mother for always helping me make my own mistakes to learn from.

In the 9th grade I grew close to one of the most beautiful girls I'd ever met. I was young and stupid, but she was beautiful and she accepted me for who I was. I've always thought of myself as an unattractive person, despite what my mother tells me. To think that an angel of such caliber would find me attractive boggled my mind. but she did. I knew how lucky I was and I began to study something I'd always felt but never really knew; love. I began asking everyone I knew, what did love mean to them? I studied it in text books and looked it up on websites. I then looked at all these definitions and asked myself: Do I feel all these for her right now, and can I always feel that way? I did and I still do. I told her I loved her and I asked her to please really make sure she meant it before she said it to me. I never doubted that she meant it when she said it. It was her that doubted and I that was ignorant of how to be a decent human being. She now considers me her biggest regret, and doesn't tell me she loves me anymore. Do you know how bad that feels? I'm sure in the bottom of your heart you do. To have half your soul torn from you. I still love her, but I accepted that she no longer loves me. Life is painful, but there's always tomorrow.

I am a momma's boy, there is no two ways around it. She raised me for the first 16 years of my life and babied me every chance I allowed her. I broke my face on public school property, and my insurance wouldn't cover it because it thought the school should handle it. The school's policy had the same thoughts. I could have gotten a lot of money if I wanted to press charges, but I didn't want to hurt anyone. It was an accident, no one deserved to be punished. So mom and Thomas paid for my surgery with every last penny they had. They wanted me to have a normal life and my face back again. So many people cared that I had fallen, once again I was surrounded with the love from others. It kept me warm in that hospital bed. I tell you all this so that I can come to a truly pivotal point in my life. For you see my accident was merely a hurdle, not a mountain, that blocked my path. I overcame and stopped to see my step-dad lose his job because of me. He moved to Virginia and it drove him and my mother apart. She was ready to give up Thomas for me. The man she loved, the man that loved her. That was willing to do whatever was in his power to make her happy. She just wanted me to be happy. All I wanted was the same for her. Oh what a silly web of emotions we sew. She came to me crying one night holding her wedding ring in her hand, telling me the distance was hurting her so bad. That she loved him so much, but she was holding him down, and that she would give him up for me. To make me happy. I chose right then to move to my father's and told my mother to please go live with her husband. She had given me 16 years of her life. She should start living her life for her again. That obviously wasn't the only factor, but it was the largest. I wanted her to be happy regardless of the cost it would incur on me.

So I arrived here in Georgia to the open arms of my father. I am very different from my father. I respect my father, but he does not respect me. I am fine with that. His nor anyone else's opinion shapes who I am. I was in a new place with no friends and little hope to run on. So I made a choice to find who I was. I had no shoulder to lean on, so I might as well stand on my own two legs. I have spent the past two years of my life searching my soul for every answer I could find. I want to help people. All people. My soul told me the only life worth living is a life full of meaning. Meaning to me is defined as helping others. I have an overwhelming urge to rush to every girl in distress and save them. I want to help so badly. But I know that I will hurt more than I am. I wanted to make sure I fully knew myself first, I mean how am I to tell anyone where they need to go if I myself have no clue where I'm going? It's lonely and people draw a lot of conclusions about who I am that aren't true. You have no idea how lonely it is when you walk the halls seeing countless kids claiming love and holding hands. Someday they'll learn the subtle difference between chaining a soul and holding hands. I have already chained a soul and tasted that ambrosia, now all other wine tastes merely as grape juice. I refuse to reach out and force false labels of emotions to what is so obviously hormones, doing so would surely break the heart of a girl undeserving of such pain. That is the greatest crime to me, breaking beauty. So I reserved my love, bottled my flame and kept it for someone who would appreciate its' embers.

Do you see what makes life beautiful yet? I would hope you see that love is what gives life beauty. Beauty is the promise of happiness. Love is a promise fulfilled. I love my mother and there's a choice that was made by a being higher than myself. That being thought that my mother should be given Lupis. I being merely mortal have no room to question such actions. I being merely human have no reason to blame anyone either. I am just accepting and accommodating for that is the noble thing to do. I don't know the full consequences of this choice. I just know that I want to pay my mother pack for all the love she's given me. That I want to make her proud. The doctor's have put an expiration date on my mother. I don't know what to think of that. I just know what I must do. I will double up on all of my college courses and I will spend my summers with my mother. You will be at my graduation mom. I will make you proud. I love you mom, and I love this world. I will make it better, and if I had the time I would find a way to make you live forever. People say nothing lasts forever. Mom, my love for you will resonate this Universe for as long as it's here. It may not be forever, but it's everything I have to give. If I had more, I would gladly make it yours.


I have to rewrite the whole damn thing, ****.

[Armored]

Re: Lost and found.

I had just reached 600 rep points, plz help me get it back.

[Jamos]

Re: Lost and found.

I was going to post this yesterday, so good thing I didn't.

I had just reached 600 rep points, plz help me get it back.

*looks at Armored's goblis*

There is no way you lost that much rep in a week.

[Caciss]

Re: Lost and found.

40 REP POINTS

And now Czech maybe didn't see my excellent rep I left him.

[hitogoroshi]

Re: Lost and found.

Hey everyone, post things that got lost in the reset.

I put this in the picture spam topic.

What is this "picture spam topic" of which you speak?

40 REP POINTS

And now Czech maybe didn't see my excellent rep I left him.

I only lost six. Guess you're 6.6 times better than me?

[Nixon]

Re: Lost and found.

Czech's poems are gone.

[Karr Lord of Chaos]

Re: Lost and found.

i lost one, woot!

i cant even rememeber what we lost, wasnt too much though.

[Armored]

Re: Lost and found.

*looks at Armored's goblis*

There is no way you lost that much rep in a week.

What can I say, I was ON.

[Sezjeuric]

Re: Lost and found.

Damn, I lost a THIRD of my rep! That's what I get for being new

[Sejon]

Re: Lost and found.

I lost my bearings.

[Patryn]

Re: Lost and found.

Hey everyone, post things that got lost in the reset.

I put this in the CENSORED.

Corrected.

Ixnay on icpay amspay.

As for Rep, I lost 8 whole points.

[IRC]

Re: Lost and found.

I have so much rep I don't really know how much I lost. It's like if Scrooge McDuck lost a hundred bucks.

[Caciss]

Re: Lost and found.

Okay Mr. Cool Kat