It's fairly common knowledge to my friends at the pavilion that I have severe memory problems. Its hard for me to accurately recall the events that transpired an hour or so ago, and anything that happened a week or more ago might be lost to me entirely. I also black out for about an hour at least once every 3 months or so. I'll be doing something, and all of a sudden I won't have any memory of what I had been doing. it will seem like mere seconds went by, like a little day dream or something like that. but the clock tells me otherwise.
It's been getting worse.
People who frequent the pavilion have no doubt noticed countless delays in my enhancement of the site, and any large updates that I've ever proposed, like the more recent renovations that started a while ago (I honestly cannot recall when they started), or even the month-long lapse with the pavilion giveaway updates. I've come up with countless excuses for these things. I said the giveaway was now over because nobody had claimed anything for the past 2 weeks. I lied. checking my PMs, the last item was claimed on january 12th.
The real reasons things suddenly stop or get mysterious delays here at the pavilion is because I often forget about them entirely, that I forget how to do them, or completely lose focus on what exactly has to be done. I actually completely forgot about the giveaway. even with the items sitting on my desk with post-it notes on them with names and adresses written on them.
This cannot continue. Not just for the pavilion, but for myself. Something is wrong with me, something has been wrong with me for quite a long time, and I'm tired of having to deal with it, to have to strain and stress myself to be able to do anything, to have to carry around notebooks to track the stupidest things like the names of family members and longtime friends.
I'm terrified of this. I have been for a long time, which is why I havent tried getting it checked out for so long. I'm afraid of what is potentially wrong with me, and I'm even more afraid of the doctors telling me that they can't find any problems.
I just told my parents about this for the first time. I've hid it from them since the beginning. I had planned on getting into the doctors next week, but my mom has decided that it's getting scheduled tomorrow.
I'll keep you updated on what I find out.
If things don't improve, I'll be stepping down from pavilion staff. I cannot run this place in my present condition anymore. as things are now, even attempting to update anything on the pavilion, no matter how many times I've done it before, is just an endless source of frustration to me.
Update:
Just got back from the doctor. Had bloodwork done, and they're scheduling me to have an MRI and EEG test. I also have strict orders not to go anywhere by myself, and that sucks. My Transformer hunts will suffer because of this, I'm sure.
It's been getting worse.
People who frequent the pavilion have no doubt noticed countless delays in my enhancement of the site, and any large updates that I've ever proposed, like the more recent renovations that started a while ago (I honestly cannot recall when they started), or even the month-long lapse with the pavilion giveaway updates. I've come up with countless excuses for these things. I said the giveaway was now over because nobody had claimed anything for the past 2 weeks. I lied. checking my PMs, the last item was claimed on january 12th.
The real reasons things suddenly stop or get mysterious delays here at the pavilion is because I often forget about them entirely, that I forget how to do them, or completely lose focus on what exactly has to be done. I actually completely forgot about the giveaway. even with the items sitting on my desk with post-it notes on them with names and adresses written on them.
This cannot continue. Not just for the pavilion, but for myself. Something is wrong with me, something has been wrong with me for quite a long time, and I'm tired of having to deal with it, to have to strain and stress myself to be able to do anything, to have to carry around notebooks to track the stupidest things like the names of family members and longtime friends.
I'm terrified of this. I have been for a long time, which is why I havent tried getting it checked out for so long. I'm afraid of what is potentially wrong with me, and I'm even more afraid of the doctors telling me that they can't find any problems.
I just told my parents about this for the first time. I've hid it from them since the beginning. I had planned on getting into the doctors next week, but my mom has decided that it's getting scheduled tomorrow.
I'll keep you updated on what I find out.
If things don't improve, I'll be stepping down from pavilion staff. I cannot run this place in my present condition anymore. as things are now, even attempting to update anything on the pavilion, no matter how many times I've done it before, is just an endless source of frustration to me.
Update:
Just got back from the doctor. Had bloodwork done, and they're scheduling me to have an MRI and EEG test. I also have strict orders not to go anywhere by myself, and that sucks. My Transformer hunts will suffer because of this, I'm sure.
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