An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

[altoecko]

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index.html

I've been studying this effect in my spare time on my fellow classmates who've gone through a competitive school system that tells them of their intelligence their whole life, they're more worried of their class ranks than of their actual scores. I've been in so many different school systems it's not funny, and people always would tell me I'm smart. I never have believed them, and I'm slightly proud of myself for that. I suggest anybody who's thinking of having a kid someday, or already has one, really read this article.

[Hyper Dingo]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index.html

I've been studying this effect in my spare time on my fellow classmates who've gone through a competitive school system that tells them of their intelligence their whole life, they're more worried of their class ranks than of their actual scores. I've been in so many different school systems it's not funny, and people always would tell me I'm smart. I never have believed them, and I'm slightly proud of myself for that. I suggest anybody who's thinking of having a kid someday, or already has one, really read this article.

I like to go by the tried and true method of, raise them how you want, and hope they dont end up ****ed up.......Well things arent looking to good for you unborn dingo child

[altoecko]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

Read the article first, then respond. I promise you, it helps.

[Kefka Jr.]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

This article is so damn true it makes me cry. I used to be a fantastic student and a well-adjusted person, and now I'm the biggest failure and recluse.

And now it suddenly makes complete sense as to why all the Korean students with the strict parents did so much better than everyone in school.

"Mom, I got a hundred percent on all of my tests this week."
"Hm. Just a hundred, huh?"

[irate giraffe]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

Along with Kefka, this is a great article about stuff I already knew. My parents sure ****ed up on me. I always wished I had tough parents.

Both of my siblings were dyslexic and trouble makers. So, all I had to do was get good grades and not get in trouble and everday my parents told me how perfect I was. I quit so many things because of it. I grow tired of every hobby I get into after about six months. Even now, I have no inkling to return to the game I started making. I just sit around browsing the pav. Yeah, that whole hippie revolution sure ****ed me up.

[The Toecutter]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

My parents didn't seem to give me either praise or scorn much. I pretty much did what I wanted and that was fulfillment in itself.

[Kirin]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

Huh. While I agree with what that article's saying, I think that can still backfire.

I was (aw, hell, who am I kidding...am) my Mom's trophy child. She's a teacher, and always got off on bragging about my seemlessly infinite number of accomplishments (even in Kindergarten). Thing is, she never praised my intelligence without encouraging me to put forth effort; instead, I got the message that I was less than nothing unless I put forth a superhuman effort and excelled above, above, and miles beyond the rest. In short, my grades/class performance/standardized test scores are directly proportional to my self-worth, self esteem, and my perception of the depth of my family's love. Not just the overall scores, mind you, every single grade. That can have some ****ty side-effects, lemme tell you. After being in college for 3 1/2 years, the effects of this caused me to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of last semester.

I guess I divulge all that to say it takes a real balance between praise and encouragement of effort to really make a kid turn out alright.

[The Toecutter]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

Many parents feel compelled to re-live their lives through their children. This can be very detrimental to the self-image of said children.

[Kit Carruthers]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

People, mostly adults, praised me for most of my life, but I never really listened to them and have been super lazy from the beginning. So I'm not entirely sure if I'm actually smart or not.

I'll accept the praising of my creativity but I can't think of the last smart thing I did. Especially as a kid.

Anyway yeah I didn't read the entire article but from what little I did I agree with blah blah

[The Toecutter]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

So I'm not entirely sure if I'm actually smart or not.

It's probably best not to even be concerned about it. There are smart people who do dumb things and never amount to ****, and dumb people who live a very fulfilling life or make a huge contribution to society. Intelligence as we know and understand it today is a flagrantly imperfect concept.

[OmegaD3k]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

Have yet to receive positive praise on my intellect. If anyone does, I won't believe them, unless they say I'm a brain-dead ignorant fool. Couldn't care less either way. There’s no point in worrying about something you can’t change. Unnecessary stress.

As for praising "creativity"..
I keep on hearing word that my work is amazing, great, inspires people, and is superfantastic. However I personally believe that my work is the biggest failure since the Nintendo Virtual Boy; thus I start to ignore what others say and believe in only what I think; thus making me work harder to the brink of endangering my own health..

To put things short: I only believe in my own opinion. No one else's.

I still care more about grades, scores than social things, since it is the employer who could care less about your social rank or life as long as you have top grades (from what I’ve experienced).

[Crustyrailgun]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

First off, I really did feel like I learned something about human nature when I read this.

Secondly while I was reading this I was reminded of comedian Patton Oswalt, in particular track number 15 in his CD "Feelin' Kinda Patton". Which he talks about being raised by boring strict parents. While all his friends had hippie parents. He hated the fact his parents were so strict so he became rebellious like most kids do. While his friends' parents would take them to concerts, smoke pot with them (His words not mine...) etc. etc. To rebel against his parents though he moved and traveled the world. While his friends who were raised by hippie parents eventually just got married, moved to the suburbs, and turned in those assholes who ruin everything.

Least I thought about it when I read this article.... and yes I'm aware the comparisons are weak at best.

[Crimson Knight]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

I only read 3 pages of that article, and I already want the time I wasted back.

My parents never praised or scorned me, they just threatened me. I did poor in school, up until 11th grade. That was when I had freedom. The freedom to do what the **** I wanted. So I rigged my schedule, to the point where I had to do literally nothing outside school. It was boring as hell, but the 3.5 GPA required little to no effort. So much for intelligence determining marks.

When I left school, I found out I was about as dumb as a doornail. Then I eventually got smarter from making games. Then I realized I didn't need to be smart, because smart people usually lacked wisdom, which is what I have more of.

[IRC]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

I gotz street smarts Mr. Carter!

[neobi]

Re: An Amazing Article About Raising Kids

Of those praised for their effort, 90 percent chose the harder set of puzzles. Of those praised for their intelligence, a majority chose the easy test. The “smart” kids took the cop-out.

Duh, of course the smart kids took the cop-out. It's the obvious game theory choice. Not that they necessarily are afraid of the harder test. It just doesn't make sense to try and have a lesser chance of getting them all correct.
~~~~
I only get praised when I get my report card back. That's about it from my parents. At work I get praised a lot; hoping that maybe it would help me in the long run... not a chance... Haven't gotten a raise in over a year..but then again no-one else has either... It bothers me that all my classmates think I'm super smart because I get all A's and know everything in math class before we cover it, but really...if I'm supposedly super smart, we live in a really dumb world...