Countdown to the Escape from Subway

[Funk]

I have come to a conclusion: my manager is trying to prevent me from escaping Subway. She has gradually increased my hours as of late, and next week I have 39 hours. This seriously hinders my time and energy to use looking for another job. I know she doesn't want me to leave, and I KNOW I'm a damned good employee, but I need a REAL job. Maybe I should make this the second page of my résumé:

[IRC]

Re: Escape From Subway

We must protect this sandwich?

[Magus]

Re: Escape From Subway

YOU'RE THE DUKE OF NEW YORK, A NUMBER ONE

[Jamos]

Re: Escape From Subway

Damn you, Subway! DAMN YOU!

[Funk]

Re: Escape From Subway

I smell like bread. PERMANENTLY.

[IRC]

Re: Escape From Subway

Italian Herb and Cheese?

[Jamos]

Re: Escape From Subway

But Blackberry said you smelled like unions.

[Funk]

Re: Escape From Subway

I smell like a Jimmy Hoffa tearjerker sandwich with Italian Herbs and Cheese bread!!!

[IRC]

Re: Escape From Subway

Mmmn Italian Herbs and Cheese.
*sprinkles pepper on Funk*

[Funk]

Re: Escape From Subway

Just keep the cukes away from my already perfect complexion!

[Jamos]

Re: Escape From Subway

Mmm.... A Funky Lobster Sandwich.

[Ωbright]

Re: Escape From Subway

Ugh...I'm sorry man. I'm surprised it wasn't '39 hours and 59 minutes' that they worked you. It's always the good workers that get crapped upon. That's because of all the crappy employees that are milking the system the opposite way. NOBODY works anybody fulltime any more, so they don't have to pay anybody fulltime benefits like insurance, overtime, etc. They just hire more people. This forces most people to get two or more jobs in order to make ends meet...working WAY more than fulltime, and STILL not getting any fulltime benefits. It's RAMPANT today, and I hate it. Thank you.

I hope you can find a way out of the subway...it's like a terrarium in there...like a big zoo where the keepers are the caged. I've worked there before, I know what it's like to walk around with that special 'baked-in' feeling.

I did everything short of carpet bomb this town with an ariel leaflet/resume campaign the last time I looked for work...and I got 1 job. In another damn restaurant. I worked there 3 years, then they closed. Here we go again.

I sincerely wish you much better luck than I'm having over here.

[Hyper Dingo]

Re: Escape From Subway

WITH THE NEW RISING STAR HYPER DINGO


Hyper dingo: You going to kill me, Funk?
Funk F. Funkenmire: Not now, I'm too tired.
[pause]
Funk F. Funkenmire: Maybe later.


Dingo: Funk? Funk what are you doing with that sandwich?
Funk F. Funkenmire: Playing with myself, I'm going in.


Dingo: [reading Funks's file] S.D. Funk, Special subway Forces unit "Hot meat". Two Purple sandwiches, Leningrad and Siberia. Youngest man to be decorated by the Manager. Then you robbed the Federal Reserve Depository... life sentence, Washing dishes maximum security backroom I'm about to kick your ass out of *the world*, Sandwich hero...
Funk: [calmly strikes a match against Dingo's desk to light his cigarette and in a bored tone of voice] Who're you?
Hyper dingo: Hyper dingo, Wierd Commissioner.
Funk: Hyper dingo...
Hyper dingo: Special Forces unit "Furry sandwich eater"... we heard of you too, Funk.


ALSO STARING RYNER, IN HIS FIRST NON FETiSH PORN MOVIE DEBUT

Funk: Where's Valk?
Jamos the Cabbie: The Ryner got him. Everybody knows the Ryner's got him. You don't have to put a gun to my head. I'll tell you.
Funk: Who's the Ryner?
Jamos the Cabbie: The Ryner ? The Manager of New Subway, A-Number-1, the Big Man, that's who!
Funk: I wanna meet this Ryner.
Jamos the Cabbie: You can't meet the Ryner! Are you crazy? Nobody gets to meet the Ryner. You meet him once and then you're dead!

[tjoris9]

Re: Escape From Subway

Just wait for the sequel...

Escape from Pizza Hut starring Tjoris9.

Complete with a fight scene where tjoris' boss throws razor-edged magnet calendars with deadly accuracy in a last ditch effort to prevent his escape!

[The_Real_Crunk]

Re: Escape From Subway

I like subways sandwiches, but I would hate to work there.

I plan on leaving my job at the end of feb, to look around at another few places. I think Ive learned about all I can from this restaraunt, and its time to move to the next place and mooch all the information and skills I can. They've just given me more hours, one of the old ladys that works in the kitchen keeps hurting her back and cant come in alot, and another guy messed up his back skateboarding so hes been gone for 3 months now. I doubt hes comming back.

Its like Ill try to leave, but theyll drag me back somehow.