The Protector

[IRC]

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks balls.

They don't do a good job of explaining the plot, and what little they do explain doesn't make sense.

Normally I'd just chalk it up to being a low budget martial arts film but the action scenes are horrible as well. All the cools stuff is ruined because they cut to different shots in the middle of it.

I give it one and half dumpsters.

[Magus]

Re: The Protector

****ing bull****. ****ing BULL****.

The plot's the same as Ong-Bak. Someone stole something from Tony Jaa, he wants it back. It's an excuse for kick-ass action. It's simple, it's silly, it works. Whatever. It's not Hamlet.

Cutting in the middle of fights? What about the fights where THERE ARE NO CUTS AT ALL? I can understand the plot-hate - if that's what you want in low-budget martial arts flicks - but this complaint is just preposterous. Maybe if you cited something specific I may take a second, third, or fourth look at you're trying to get at but this is just wrong, wrong, wrong. You see everything perfectly, the camerawork is nothing short of fanTASTIC.

The stairway scene? No cuts at all. The skateboarders/bikers/ATV fight? Seamless editing. The Nathan Jones fights? AMAZING. The capoeira? UMMF. The BONE-CRUNCHING FINALE?! AAARUURGHHHHH. God, were you HIGH?

You're doing this just to GET AT ME.

AREN'T YOU.

AREN'T YOU?!

[The Dark Jester]

Re: The Protector

My mom called, she thinks you're gay.

[IRC]

Re: The Protector

Alright alright. I made this halfway through out of disappointment. Specifically it was after the X-Games fight. Then I watched the rest of it which is significantly better.

The stairway fight was amazing. The monastery fight was good too, but not without fault. It falls back into the strange cuts of the ATV fight.
When he finishes capoeira kid it starts off with a slow motion kick to the head but right before it hits they cut to a slightly different shot of the guy getting kicked in the head. When he finishes the sword guy they do the same thing. Start off with the Jaa jumping into his spin kick, then cut to a slower shot of him spinning, and then right before the kick lands, they cut to a slightly wider shot of the kid being kicked and falling down.

The whole thing is just disconcerting. Just freaking show him kick the guy and I'd be happy.

Another thing that bugs me is that all of the regular fighting is just Jaa grabbing a guy and breaking his arm or a leg or something. There's no back and forth with the punching and the kicking. It's works fine in the stairway fight when he's being a man on a mission, but in the last fight it just becomes overkill. He's not Neo fighting Agent Smith clones.

And my problems with the plot aren't that it's martial arts film bad, but that it's like student film bad. I've seen pornos with better plot development. At first I thought my dvd player was bad and was skipping around. It jumps around that bad.

But yes, the Nathan Jones fights are awesome. I thought the tendon cutting was a bit ridiculous, but who doesn't love a 6'11'' giant tossing around a 5'6'' Thai.

Thanks to Jones, I elevate The Protector to, not all that and a bag of chips.

I guess I owe Nathan Jones a Nintendo Wii.

BUT NOT MAGUS!

[Magus]

Re: The Protector

And my problems with the plot aren't that it's martial arts film bad, but that it's like student film bad. I've seen pornos with better plot development. At first I thought my dvd player was bad and was skipping around. It jumps around that bad.

I hoped one of us would mention porn. Blame the Weinsteins or whoever cut the American version. There's a lot missing, plot-wise, including a whole subplot involving the bad white guy and Thai policeman dude from Ong-Bak. You miss a great SEGWAY chase between them. If you saw that you may have seen the tone the movie was going for. But the fights are untouched so I forgave the American edit for the most part.

BTW, the Weinstein version dubs over everyone, even though a lot of the characters spoke English in the original version anyway. However, they were unintelligible so it just added to the hilarity and fun of it all. Did you watch this movie alone? Or with a gang of buds with chips and booze? That may affect your opinion slightly. {:3

But yes, the Nathan Jones fights are awesome. I thought the tendon cutting was a bit ridiculous, but who doesn't love a 6'11'' giant tossing around a 5'6'' Thai.

I don't think there's anything more satisfying than watching a tiny guy take down a giant guy.

I guess I owe Nathan Jones a Nintendo Wii.

BUT NOT MAGUS!

>8C

If you're unfamiliar with Ong-Bak I may understand your CONFUSEMENT as to how the movie OPERATES. Give that a try even if it's basically the same thing with different sets and characters to beat up, thought I hold The Protector higher because the outrageous fights and stunts are better. If you really need plot so much then get ready for a lot more of it in Ong-Bak. And it's equally dismissive.

Still, I can't believe you were unimpressed by his streetlamp kick or his backflip-handstand-with-like-3-inches-of-hand-space trick during the ATV fight. Can YOU do that? I don't think Jackie Chan can even do that anymore. Too busy massaging Brett Ratner's prostate.

My mom called, she thinks you're gay.

YOU GET OUT

[IRC]

Re: The Protector

I think Jester's mom was talking about me.

[Magus]

Re: The Protector

We'll never know now.

[John Mora]

Re: The Protector

I wasn't impressed by Ong-Bak, either. First there's the story itself which is pointless and dumb. "But what about the action?" I can hear you saying. Yeah, what about it? For every five minutes of Tony Jaa pwning a *****, you have to sit through ten of that stupid obnoxious guy with the fat, bleached head and his pixie Link sidekick with the most grating voice on Earth. And then there's the message of the movie which seems to vacillate between "people who lead simpler lives lead happier lives" and "we are a hip Thai movie that is gonna culturally crossover all over your face (buy the soundtrack at a store near you)." And then there's all the unnecessary jump cuts used throughout the movie. And the abrupt conclusion that sorta leaves you wondering, "Wait, did the movie just end?!"

If The Protector is anything like Ong-Bak, I probably don't wanna see it unless I'm with a crowd of people I can make fun of it with.

[IRC]

Re: The Protector

We'll never know now.

Well I suppose I could ask her when I see her later tonight.

OH SNAP! Absentee slam.

If The Protector is anything like Ong-Bak, I probably don't wanna see it unless I'm with a crowd of people I can make fun of it with.

The Protector has elephants.

[Magus]

Re: The Protector

I wasn't impressed by Ong-Bak, either. First there's the story itself which is pointless and dumb. "But what about the action?" I can hear you saying. Yeah, what about it? For every five minutes of Tony Jaa pwning a *****, you have to sit through ten of that stupid obnoxious guy with the fat, bleached head and his pixie Link sidekick with the most grating voice on Earth. And then there's the message of the movie which seems to vacillate between "people who lead simpler lives lead happier lives" and "we are a hip Thai movie that is gonna culturally crossover all over your face (buy the soundtrack at a store near you)." And then there's all the unnecessary jump cuts used throughout the movie. And the abrupt conclusion that sorta leaves you wondering, "Wait, did the movie just end?!"

If The Protector is anything like Ong-Bak, I probably don't wanna see it unless I'm with a crowd of people I can make fun of it with.

i'm sorry did-

[IRC]

Re: The Protector

Magus, you are ruining my topic with your unyeilding defense of Tony Jaa's movies.

[Magus]

Re: The Protector

You just better hope he doesn't find any of this.

[IRC]

Re: The Protector

I know, I'd hate for him to kick out my ceiling fan lights.

[John Mora]

Re: The Protector

You just better hope he doesn't find any of this.

How can he find anything when he keeps LOSING HIS STUFF

[The_Real_Crunk]

Re: The Protector

Oh he'll find you. And hell do a spinning backflip kick to your head through your window.